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Thread: Rurouni Kenshin - Heart of Sword

  1. #1
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    Default Rurouni Kenshin - Heart of Sword

    I think I have the gist of it, but I'd appreciate it if someone could check this over, because it was rather difficult for me. Especially the "プラマイ・ゼロ" stanza, I'm not sure I got the correct meaning there at all.

    The version on the site right now is... well, just plain wrong to put it bluntly. (At least I hope it is, or I'm worse than I thought.) So I'm meaning to correct it when I'm done polishing this up, but I don't wanna correct it with something that's wrong, after all.

    独りでは 遠い明日を
    夜明けのままで 越えそうで
    ブツかっていきゃ コケる想いよ
    今夜もまた すれ違い

    Though I'm alone I think I can cross
    Over the distant tomorrow as long as it's still dawn
    Feelings will break apart if they collide
    Tonight we'll pass by each other again

    散々すぎる努力の跡も
    なくなる結果 ONLYの綱渡り
    やるだけ損するよな 毎日は
    斜に高ヲてた方こそ 楽になる

    Only tight rope walking so beyond horrible
    That the traces of effort disappear with the results
    Every day, you do something and lose something
    If you tilt yourself diagonally it becomes easier

    熱くてつらい自分を隠して
    短い時代を生きてる

    Hide your passionate, heartbroken self
    To go on living in this short era

    独りでは 遠い明日を
    夜明けのままで 越えそうで
    放っとけば 走る想いよ
    夢もまた すれ違い

    Though I'm alone I think I can cross
    Over the distant tomorrow as long as it's still dawn
    These feelings that will rush if they are left alone
    And that dream will pass each other by again

    完璧とちゃう 人生の収支
    プラマイ・ゼロだなんだってば
    ホントかな?
    死ぬまでに使い切る 運の数
    せめて 自分で出し入れをさせて

    Perfection and completeness, What are
    these pluses, minuses and zeros on
    my life's balance sheet?
    Deposit and withdraw what you need of your luck
    Or you will use it all up before you die

    ワカっちゃいない
    君ならどーにでも
    理屈を変えていいのに

    You don't understand it yet
    As long as it's you
    It's okay to change your reasoning

    何度君に 蹴つまづいても
    戻ってきちゃう 愛情に
    信じかねる 打たれ強さよ
    今夜も メ[トー眠れない

    No matter how many times you made me trip up
    My love keeps returning to you
    It's so unbelievable, the strength I've gained
    That I won't be able to sleep tonight either

    何度何回 繰り返しても
    戻ってきちゃう 愛だから
    ブツかっていく 消せぬ想いを
    責める方が 筋違い

    No matter how many times you do this
    It's love so it'll keep coming back
    These feelings won't disappear as they collide
    To blame that side of it would be illogical


    独りでは 遠い明日を
    夜明けのままで 越えてゆく
    相性よりも 深いふたりは
    すれ違って 高墲ネい

    Though I'm alone I think I can cross
    Over the distant tomorrow as long as it's still dawn
    Out from affinity, the profound pair that is us
    Pass by each other without paying heed

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    Yeah, I looked at the version on the site and it really is off. Glad you're fixing it.

    ブツかっていきゃ コケる想いよ
    今夜もまた すれ違い

    >Feelings will break apart if they collide
    >Tonight we'll pass by each other again

    I can't quite explain why (I have a headache right now so I'm not operating on full brainpower), but I feel like this should be "Feelings that would break if they collided / pass by each other again tonight" [i.e. they could have collided -- and broken -- tonight, but they didn't].

    散々すぎる努力の跡も
    なくなる結果 ONLYの綱渡り

    >Only tight rope walking so beyond horrible
    >That the traces of effort disappear with the results

    努力の跡も なくなる is all modifying 結果, so it's not "the traces of effort disappear with the results," but "it has the result that the traces of effort disappear." Of course, that's very clunky, so you can reword that as you will.

    I can't quite manage to parse the stanza you're having trouble with at the moment, but I'm thinking that the なんだってば is not 何んだってば but a contraction of なのだってば. Also, your current translation doesn't take the ホントかな? into account -- it's less "what is it?" and more "is it really...?", I think. Also, I think "とちゃう" is a shortened form of "と違う".

    信じかねる 打たれ強さよ
    今夜も メ[トー眠れない

    Same as the first stanza, I think it's the strength that's not sleeping. When you preface a statement with "[noun/noun phrase]よ", it tends to imply that that statement is about/addressing that noun. For example, in a line like "想いよあの人に届け" (okay, not the best example, it's just all I could come up with off the top of my head), it's the 想い doing/being told to do the 届け-ing -- what you have here is similar, it's just that the noun phrase is much longer.

    Not sure, but I think "何度何回 繰り返しても 戻ってきちゃう" is all modifying "愛" -- "because it's a love that will come back no matter how many times [we] repeat [this]".

    責める方が 筋違い

    >To blame that side of it would be illogical

    You don't need the "that side of it." The "[verb]する方が[adjective]" construction just means "It would be [adjective] to do [verb]." I think 責めるwould be better translated as "condemn" than "blame" in this context, since the singer's not really blaming the feelings for anything.

    相性よりも 深いふたり

    Should be "we who[se feelings] are even deeper than affinity." "[noun]より[adjective]" is "more [adjective] than [noun]", and "よりも" is the same but with "even" tacked on the beginning.

    I hope that helped.

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    Sorry it's taking me so long to reply, especially since I was the one that started this discussion thread. But eh, life happens, right?

    I can't quite explain why (I have a headache right now so I'm not operating on full brainpower), but I feel like this should be "Feelings that would break if they collided / pass by each other again tonight" [i.e. they could have collided -- and broken -- tonight, but they didn't].
    Yeah, as soon as I posted this I wondered if that might be the case (I actually did this translation a few months ago as a request, I've just been too lazy to post it here for revision until now) so I'm glad that you agree with me so that I can be sure.

    努力の跡も なくなる is all modifying 結果, so it's not "the traces of effort disappear with the results," but "it has the result that the traces of effort disappear." Of course, that's very clunky, so you can reword that as you will.
    Got it, that makes a lot more sense. I have
    Only tight rope walking so beyond horrible
    That it results in traces of effort disappearing
    It's not completely true to the grammar of the original Japanese but for the moment that's the best way I can think to phrase it.

    I can't quite manage to parse the stanza you're having trouble with at the moment, but I'm thinking that the なんだってば is not 何んだってば but a contraction of なのだってば. Also, your current translation doesn't take the ホントかな? into account -- it's less "what is it?" and more "is it really...?", I think. Also, I think "とちゃう" is a shortened form of "と違う".
    Thanks for the tips, I'll keep them in mind as I mess around more with that stanza. x.x

    As for the rest of your comments, I fixed up my translation accordingly. (I don't have anything specific to say about them) Thank you very much for helping me out here!

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