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Thread: Forever?

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    Senior Member Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul's Avatar
    Gil
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    Here is another one that i wrote right after The Journey of Love. Hope you guys like it. As usual my writing is nothing without feedback. So pleeeease let me know what you think. AZUL.



    Forever?

    They say nothing lasts forever,
    I smirk at the thought.
    To think that you and i were together,
    And you ran off with my heart.

    They say good friends stay together,
    Never do they part,
    To think that i could've ever,
    Trusted you from the start.

    Was it me? was it how i acted?
    that drove us apart.
    could it be because of the fact,
    that you only wanted one thing from the start?

    If only i had known.
    Could this truly have been prevented?
    Or was it ordained from the onset,
    That this is how is should've ended?

    Am i a fool to be thinking?
    That maybe... I should take you back.
    Forgive you for what you did, go against all odds.
    And if you do it again....will it come as a shock?
    The fool sees the bend but doesn't look beyond it.


  2. #2
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
    Gil
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    This narration is definitely different from that of journey of love. the writing style is diffrent too this has more rhyming as opposed to the use of imagery in the other. It's good. at the very least it shows that the narrator is revealed at all times as a result of your feelings and not just stringing along words that sound good together.

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