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Thread: Old Friend

  1. #1
    Senior Member niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol has a reputation beyond repute niKopol's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Old Friend

    I like waking up to your face,
    in this beautiful place,
    just outside of town,
    with grass on the ground.

    I like waking up to your perfume,
    that smell that just consumed,
    every thought of mine,
    almost like a fine wine.

    I like waking up knowing that I'm a part of your life,
    knowing I helped you out of that struggle and strife,
    that drains you everyday and night,
    over nothing, just pointless fights.

    Thats the fairy tale,
    that I must tell.
    We've drifted away,
    so far away.

    You've grown much,
    as the world rots around you,
    almost like mulch.

    And me, I've grown much,
    but I'm still a fool,
    which isn't as cute as much,
    as it used to be.

    How I'd wished to see,
    to see you just once,
    to be with you just once,
    before this world had her way,
    with me, with you, with us.

    How I'd wish for things to stay,
    but time is like a wind, all it takes is a gust,
    and in the end, I've gotten no closer,
    and in the end, I've gotten no closure,
    for this old crush of mine,
    which is the finest of wine.

    Thats the truth I must tell,
    that is my personal hell.

    Knowing I failed,
    I buried my face into my palm,
    and cried until I became calm.

    Old friend, how I do miss you...
    niKopol

    loboKie
    ayy dyxlesia!




  2. #2
    Captain No Pants Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki. has a reputation beyond repute Tsuki.'s Avatar
    Gil
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    sigh . . . That's a very sad poem. but very . . . inspiring


  3. #3
    Senior Member Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince has a reputation beyond repute Anime-Prince's Avatar
    Gil
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    Your KDK right?
    No..im not about to diss you.


    Actually..
    This is a very talented poem.
    Fascinated by the rain, influenced by the wind. Adventure for fun.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul's Avatar
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    That was something else. really nice though. You have to read it more than once toget the full understanding. Keep it up. A thumbs up from me.
    The fool sees the bend but doesn't look beyond it.


  5. #5
    The Poet Sword Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke has a reputation beyond repute Tetsanosuke's Avatar
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    Default

    I enjoyed the poem, but I've got to say that the bounds between a friends and a lover.. Even a 'once lover' are quite distinct, at least to me. I never try at the cutsy little 'I like you, be my show girl for 3 months before I am truly attracted to someone' sort of thing. Not saying I got that from your poem, it was a side sort of thing that popped in my head.

    It just seemed strange to me that someone you once loved is labeled here as an old friend, considering the fact that it's hard enough being broke up with, let alone when all you ever wanted to do was be with him/her, that person.. Let alone be that person's 'friend' for all attributes of the word. The reason I can't imagine this connection is that, if you feelings still burn on, it would be so painful to even be near the person without the reciprocation of your feelings on some level ( Especially when they already moved on, as if you weren't the right grocery for their cart ). I know the latter statement sounds a little harsh but, when it comes to raw emotion you shouldn't expect too much less.

    I just thought I'd share my thoughts on it, it was a good poem even if it didn't have a constant rhyme scheme throughout (I like the rhymes, but by no means will I say it's the only way to go. Just my own way about it).


    Perhaps the world was never meant to make perfect sense.


  6. #6
    Senior Member I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU has a reputation beyond repute I LIEK ANIMU's Avatar
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    Gamertag: NanoEdge EX

    Default

    I happen to like that poem, you did a very good job, keep up the good work and keep posting your poems.
    Check out Anime Globe for the latest in anime reviews and anime news!


    ~Me, when my waifu confessed her love to me~

  7. #7
    Faded Existence Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein* has a reputation beyond repute Rein*'s Avatar
    Gil
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    How I'd wish for things to stay,
    but time is like a wind, all it takes is a gust,
    and in the end, I've gotten no closer,
    and in the end, I've gotten no closure,
    for this old crush of mine,
    which is the finest of wine.
    This was my favourite part. It was sad but sweet. I can some what relate to the narrator but i should think it be difficult to observe someone u once "loved" and harbouring feelings still is not healthy.
    MInd you this was a good poem

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