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Thread: Fruits Basket Fanfiction: The Other Family

  1. #1
    Senior Member The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale has a reputation beyond repute The Nightingale's Avatar
    Gil
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    Gamertag: Karawr831 PSN ID: Karawr831 XFIRE ID: midnightdreams Steam ID: karawr831

    Default Fruits Basket Fanfiction: The Other Family

    So in this story I am thinking of putting Haru and Momiji in Tohru, Kyo and Yuki's class so its easier.

    Prologue:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    “Ohmygosh!” I shouted gaping at the school uniform laying on the bed. Ria my cousin giggled. “I think it’s cute!” she said twirling around infront of the mirror.
    I snorted ‘you also think gloomy bear and the joker are cute’ I thought. I stared at the unifrom...Averse to the fact it was so skimpy...and....well it’s a skirt for crying out loud! Do I wear skirts? No. Do I like skirts? No. Ria my cousin could pull off outfits like these but...I cannot. Ria stopped twirling and looked at me.
    “Well?”
    “Well what?”
    “Well you going to put the uniform on?”
    “No I think I’ll just wear my jeans.”
    “Mai-Chan you are putting on this uniform whether you like it or not.”
    “Over my dead body.”
    I glared at Ria ineffectively, she glared back, causing me to flinch....she always wins I thought. I turned around and started brushing my hear, watching Ria warily from the corner of my eyes. She picked up my unifrom and looked at me, smirking, then she lounged. “OUch what are YOU doing.” I yelled struggling against her as she clung to me. “Putting YOUR unifrom on.”
    “HELL NO.” I yelled struggling harder....

    Hi! My name is Amaia Miyagi, age 15. Me and my cousin Ria Miyagi, just moved to Kanto, from Osaka. We are starting our first day of High School today at Kaibara High. I guess I'm...nervous, I have never been to a real school before, and neither has Ria. We were raised in the Miyagi house, and never left the the house either, but that all chanegd when Ria decided to run away from the cruel head of the Miyagi house, Daichi, She was my bestfriend so of course I didn't let her go alone, and thats how we ended up here. If we are found we will be punished severely. I can understand why we werent aloud in public...I mean it has to do with a curse, Our entire family has a curse, where we turn into animals .one from the chinese zodiac. Daichi said that there were only one other family in Japan with the curse, though he didnt know their names, but he also said they were their enemies...Little did I know at the time that I was attending the same school as that zodiac family.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I can take crit. C&C Please =] just not TOO too hard >_>


    Edit: I was at school when I wrote this, and accidently changed the color, so when I tried to change it back to yellow...I got the bright yellow, sorry, It looked like the default on my schools computers T_T I apologize *bows*
    Last edited by The Nightingale; 09-16-2008 at 06:57 PM.

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  2. #2
    TheNannie Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades has a reputation beyond repute Lady_Baneheart_Of_Blades's Avatar
    Gil
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    Notbad. Noting to really crit on it. I think the last part should be at the front of the story tough... I like it.
    Thank you for the gift Nespa



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  3. #3
    Senior Member Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul has a reputation beyond repute Azul's Avatar
    Gil
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    Yeah, the last part was a little confusing but then i realized that it should have been at the beginning. It's going good so far.
    The fool sees the bend but doesn't look beyond it.


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