Glimmer of hope

Uncertain about everything I did
I need my healing kit
It sounds pretty twisted
But from the things I listed

I was drowning in my own despair
But pretended like I did not care
Till the day someone told me no
Rejection did change the flow

Pain is pain it always was like that
Sadness is sadness I've always felt sad
But this might sound like I've lost all hope
But I saw a glittering star in the scope

I saw a glittering star that gave me hope
And now it's my eye right trough the scope
Of a barrel of a gun
Will this be painfull or fun ?