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Thread: Love Hina Fanfiction: A Choice Made: Chapters 1 & 2

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    God of Destruction Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro has a reputation beyond repute Josun Tomoro's Avatar
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    Default Love Hina Fanfiction: A Choice Made: Chapters 1 & 2

    Chapters 1-2 in this post

    Authors Note: This is an Original Character/Naru pairing. I expect flames :P

    Chapter one

    Naru looked between her two best friends, and the two people in the whole wide world that she loved too the depths of her heart. Her mind swirled, her heart fluttered, as two pairs of eyes looked at her, fear and worry in their eyes.

    To her left, stood Keitaro Urashima, landlord and complete dunce, yet a man who had won her heart, and had finally made it into Tokyo University. Almost every day he would stumble in on her changing, or be in the women’s bath. He was someone you wouldn’t expect to ever like.

    And yet… he was a kind and gentle person. He always thought of the others at the inn before himself. Even though he was dense at times, and was basically a pervert, Naru Narusegawa had fallen for him. As he had for her.

    To her right, stood Josun Tomoro. They had met when she (and coincidently Keitaro) had gone on a trip of self healing after they both failed getting into Tokyo University. He two had failed getting into a school, and had fled on a trip of self healing, and hiding, from his strict mother and father, who would have been furious had they got to him before he left.

    It was partially thanks to him that she had fallen for Keitaro. But he had done it because he believed Naru didn’t love him, which, in reality, she did love him. He was kind and helpful, he cared for everyone at the dormitory, even Keitaro when he was blamed for one of his regular perverted acts.

    He had told her when he had gone off to help her bring Keitaro back when he ran off thinking he had failed. She hadn’t known what to say. Like her feelings for Keitaro, she didn’t know exactly how to react or think.

    And now, she knew it was time. The two men in the whole wide world that she loved stood before her, standing still in silence, wondering who she would pick. It was touch for her, because she just did not know who to pick.

    She looked into the eyes of both of them, and made her decision. She turned towards Josun, tears in his eyes. He suddenly looked sad, but she smiled and said

    “Jo-kun, I love you with all my heart!!” She jumped up and kissed Josun so passionately, he had to unlock his lips after only three seconds to take a breathe of air.

    They both turned when they heard Keitaro clearing his throat. He too had tears going down his face, and he put his hands on both their shoulders.

    “I H-hope you two live happily ever after.” He then turned, and began walking up the cliff face, wanting to get away so they wouldn’t see any more.

    Well folks, what do ya think for a first chapter OC/Naru pairing?




    Chapter 2


    Naru and Josun watched Keitaro heading up the cliff. Naru wanted to go comfort him. He was, after all, still her friend. But They were stopped by the rest of the group having finally catching up to them. They were all wishing there relationship well, and Motoko of course was busy stating that Naru had picked a better person, while Kanako eyed Keitaro from afar.

    Josun shook his head. He wasn’t expecting this much of a friendly attitude, but then, he was much less troublesome then Keitaro was. Even though there were times he was compared to Keitaro, and even called “YOU STUPID PERVERT!!” and sent flying by either Naru or Motoko, he had had fewer incidents then Keitaro, though his generally were bigger in scale.

    Kitsune was grinning. Now that Naru had chosen Josun, Keitaro was open for anyone. She looked around at her competition, noting that, except for Mutsumi, she had a fairly good chance of snagging him.

    After making sure no one was watching, Kitsune began to sneak off after Keitaro, but before she had taken three steps, she felt Motoko’s practice sword on her neck.

    Why Is Motoko stopping me? She thought, but soon discovered it was not Motoko, but Josun.

    “Now Now Kitsune. No one is to bother Keitaro right now. You should have an ideal of what’s going on in his head right?”

    The question was asked in a calm voice, which meant Josun was dead serious.

    “Ehh heh heh, your right Josun. Ill leave good ol Keitaro alone for now.” She turned around and saw him already moving back to give Motoko her kendo back.

    ***************

    Keitaro sat on the cliff watching the rest of the girls congratulated Josun and Naru becoming a couple, and mostly on Naru having finally choosing to recognize those feelings that had made her beat both him and Josun up before.

    Part of him was broken inside. The girl he loved to the bottom of his heart had chosen someone else. It hurt so much, as if his heart was being stomped all over.

    But then, part of him was happy. He always wanted Naru to be as happy as she could possibly be. If that meant he had to let go of her, he would try his best.

    A shadow coming from behind him made him look up. Josun had somehow gotten up there without Keitaro noticing a thing.

    Must be his training with Motoko. Keitaro thought as he smiled a little. Josun was one of his friends, and he had known of Josuns feelings for Naru when they came back from Parakalese island. He had heard Naru talking to Kitsune about it, and had eventually asked Josun about it.

    *flashback*

    Keitaro found Josun leaning against the railing of the roofs deck, staring at the scenery of the setting sun. Keitaro wondered if he should really ask him, but made up his mind. He had to know.

    Keitaro walked over to Josun and asked

    “Hey Josun, I got a personal question to ask ya,.. Um Josun?”

    Josun started and looked around, then saw Keitaro standing next to him. He wondered how long he had been out of it.

    “Oh, sorry Keitaro, I was lost in the scenery. Were you asking me something?”

    Keitaro nodded and leaned on the railing. It was hard for him to ask Josun this, but he knew he’d worry about it if he didn’t ask.

    “Josun, Do you like Naru?” His heart thudded as he waited for the response.

    Josun thought about how Keitaro had asked. It wasn’t a question of if he and Naru were friends, it was more of a question of whether or not he had feelings for Naru.

    Josun turned back and watched the setting sun, closing his eyes so that he could better think of what to say. Keitaro began to grow worried, when he answered

    “Yes Keitaro. I do have feelings for Naru-kun.” He heard a small gasp come from Keitaro, but he turned to him.

    “But don’t worry Keitaro. Ill let Naru decide. If she ends up falling for you, I wont have any regrets. How about you?” He stuck his hand out, to shake on a promise.

    Keitaro looked at the offered hand, then shook.

    *end flashback*


    Josun sat down by Keitaro, grinning lightly. He put his arm on his shoulder, and looked at him in happiness and joy.

    “Well Keitaro, I hope you remember our promise. No regrets right?”

    Keitaro looked from him down to Naru and the others, who were all chatting excitedly. He saw her look up at them, and she smiled, and blew a kiss in their direction. Kitsune started chortling, thinking it was meant for Josun.

    Smiling, Josun looked at Keitaro and said “That was for you, Keitaro.” He smiled at his friend, who finally returned it.

    Keitaro stared at him for a moment, then grinned, and blew a kiss to Naru. She blushed and looked away, but he had seen the smile on her face. The others were of course, over reacting as usual, but Naru kept them from beating Keitaro into a bloody pulp.

    “No regrets Josun. No regrets.” he smiled and shook Josuns hand again. “Take good care of her Josun.”

    Josun nodded, and said two simple words that meant many more.

    “I will.”

    Well, that’s chapter two Hope you enjoyed it.
    Last edited by Josun Tomoro; 06-10-2008 at 11:03 PM.

    A great webcomic!! Full of humor, angst, and occasional fanservice!

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    Nice I like it and hope you are writing more in the next time. A suggestion from my side: Try to cut the next chapter to the half of this passage. That would be better.
    Calamity befalls oneself. Like Icarus who fell to earth when his wings were burned by the sun.

    Don´t pay too much attention to my bad english^^


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