AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com

User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Naruto Fanfiction: Akuma Anie - Chapter 2 and 3

  1. #1
    Junior Member UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl's Avatar
    Gil
    400.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-30-2008 12:18 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Santarem, Portugal
    Threads
    3
    Posts
    20
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Naruto Fanfiction: Akuma Anie - Chapter 2 and 3

    Heres the 2nd and 3rd chapter of my fanfic^^

    Chapter 2

    After a few hours running with Anie in his back, Orochimaru finally arrived to his lair. He layed Anie in a bed, putted something to eat in the table next to the bed, and went to his room o create some jutsus.
    Anie woke up after a couple hours, sitted in the bed and looked around... A simple room, only with a bed, a table, and a candle in the table to give the room some light. "Where am I?" asked Anie to herself, looked at the table and saw food. She got up and went to the table, and started looking at the food. "I'm hungry..." she said, and then heard someone saying: "It's not poisoned, you can eat it." Anie looked back, it was Orochimaru. "Who are you?" asked Anie. "I'm your uncle..." answered Orochimaru. "I have no father, you can't be my uncle. Mom only has a sister and she died with 18 years." said Anie, staring at the floor. Orochimaru got on his knees and smiled to Anie "Its better for you if I explain you later... Eat something, we need to go now." "Where are we going?" asked Anie, "Meeting some friends." answered Orochimaru, and left the room.

    Anie sitted again in the bed, eating what Orochimaru gave her... "Its...ramen. How he knows what my favourite food is?" asked Anie to herself, then she layed on the bed and started staring at the ceiling. "Why that ANBU didn't killed me? It would be so much better than being here with this man...".

    Orochimaru openned the door "I'm done, lets go girl." Anie got off the bed, went near him and asked: "Where are we going?", and he answered "I told you, we are going to meet some friends", Anie said nothing and both sarted walking away from the lair.
    "Jump to my back, I will tell you the story on the way, if you want". Anie jumped to his back and said "I want.". orochimaru started running through a forest "It happenned two years before you were born, your brother and sister's dad had died 3 years ago and your mother was living alone with them. It was one of the worst years to the Akuma's. My brother, Kurama, met your mother in one of the fights against the Uchihas, he was a ninja doctor and healed you mother. After that they fell inlove and you born. A few months later, I killed my brother to stay with his body." Anie couldn't say a word. She was fully shocked with what Orochimaru told her. Orochimaru stopped and looked at her "You will understand it better as the time passes."

    After a few hours, they finnaly arrived to their destiny. Anie looked around: a lake with a huge rock near it. Orochimaru putted Anie on the floor, made some seals with his hands and pulled a scroll. Some symbols appeared in the scroll and a hole appeared in the rock. "Come." said Orochimaru. Anie went near him and he putted his hand on her shoulder "Don't be afraid, they are good people." Anie was a lot nervous and stopped in the middle of a huge cold corridor, made only of stone and with a bit of water on the floor. "Are they going to hurt me?" asked her. Orochimaru smiled "Of course not, they are here to train you." "Train me?" "Yes, you are going to be a lot powerful.".
    They started walking again and a bit of light started appearing at the end of the corridor."Here they are..." said Orochimaru. They arrived, and some men with long black capes with red clouds on them appeared.

    "Welcome to the Akatsuki, little girl." Said a tall man, with orange spiked hair and with piercings on his nose.
    "Nice, another girl." Said a blue haired woman with a flower on her hair, smiling.
    Orochimaru took Anie to another room, where a tall red haired man was, with an forehead protector with the Sand's symbol scratched. "This is Sasori, my partner", said Orochimaru "Hey there girl", said the red haired man.

    Anie and Orochimaru went to another room. It was small, with a bed, a secretary, a chair and a mirror. "I'm sorry it is kind of small... I will try to get you a bigger one." said Orochimaru, and went away.
    Anie sitted on the chair.. suddenly her Akumagan activated. She looked at the mirror: "Wha... whats happening?"


    Chapter 3

    A few years later...

    Anie was in her training space in the Akatsuki: a huge room only with some torches to light it a bit, the floor was made of cold stone and so were the walls. She was training her protection technique: Karasu Umou no Shugo - Protection of Crow's Feathers (where Anie gets surrounded by a huge amount of black feather that rotate at high speed and protect her).

    Suddenly Orochimaru opens the room's door and walks in Anie's direction. "What you need?" asked Anie, "Come here." said Orochimaru. Anie went near Orochimaru and looked him in the eyes. "We have a new member." said him "We need to welcome him. Come with me." Anie cleaned the dirt out of her skirt and dismissed her katana, looked at Orochimaru and asked "So, what's his name?". Orochimaru smiled at her and said "Uchiha Itachi." Anie was shocked about what Orochimaru just told her and she thought to herself: "I just need to stay calm...".
    They both went to the entrance of the Akatsuki's Lair and waited for the leader to introduce the new member.

    Suddenly, the leader came in with a tall boy, around his 12 years old, with long black hair and red eyes. Anie was shaking all over the place and keeping saying herself to stay calm. The boy introduced himself and the leader said why he had entered the Akatsuki. Then all the members of the organization introduced themselves away from the other members. Orochimaru was left to the end, "Come." he said to Anie. Anie looked at Itachi and then to Orochimaru "I'm not part of the Akatsuki, I won't go there.". Orochimaru seemed a bit surprised about what Anie just said, smiled at her and said "Ok, I understand. In fact, he is one Uchiha, right? Just wait for me here." Anie calmed down a bit and looked at Orochimaru again, "Thank you." she said. Then Anie went back to her room and sitted layed on her bed, looking at the ceiling and closed her eyes...

    ** "Wha... what's your name?"
    "...Itachi. And yours?"
    "Mine?"
    "Yeah, your name, may I know it?"
    "Sure! Its..." **

    Suddenly Anie woke up and sitted on her bed, looked at her hands... "It's... snowing?". She got up and left her room, went trough the corridor, turned left and openned a door. The new Akatsuki member was laying on his bed, with his back turned to the door. Anie entered the room slowly, and said quietly "Itachi...". The boy turned back and looked at Anie, "It's me... why?" he said. Anie went near him and looked him in the eyes "Don't you remember me?" she asked, "Who the hell are you?" Itachi said, a bit angry. Anie's eyes started to fill up with tears and she looked to the floor "It's me... Anie.", "I can't remember ever meeting you." said the boy. Anie putted her hands in Itachi's face and her Akumagan activated. The tears were falling of her eyes... "Don't... you... remember? We met..." she asked once more. Itachi became very angry and his Sharingan activated too, "Get out of here you brat!", as he said this, he pushed Anie to the wall and she fell on the floor. The tears were running through her face down to the floor, she could see her chakra on her tears because of the Akumagan.
    Anie got up and looked again at Itachi, he was turned back and yelled "I said: Get out of here!". Anie looked to the floor near him. There were seven tears on the floor, but not all of the were Anie's. She noticed a different chakra from her's, the seventh tear.

    i hope you guys liked it
    Last edited by UndertakerGirl; 06-18-2008 at 11:02 AM.

  2. #2
    Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+ has a reputation beyond repute Kaitou+'s Avatar
    Gil
    54,957,648,592.36
    Gender
    Gifts Ice Cream Cookie Cookie
    Mentioned
    530 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    02-27-2015 09:55 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Akihabara
    Threads
    694
    Posts
    10,244
    Blog Entries
    82
    Rep Power
    6364
    Gamer IDs

    PSN ID: SalamanderKnight Steam ID: Kaitou-Kid

    Default

    Well..I will read it, I did a quick view and it looks alright, so I will take my time...

    I read some parts quickly, I think you need to use more expression and put some lines that the character would actually say, but it's good nonetheless.
    Last edited by Kaitou+; 06-10-2008 at 08:32 PM.

    YT: | GameEmpireHD | KaitouVG | ShonenGameZ |
    Co-Founder of ShonenGameZ.com | Scan Translations & More!

    | PSN: SalamanderKnight | NNID: GameEmpireHD (US) KaitouVG (JP) |
    | Steam: Kaitou-Kid | Origin: GameEmpireHD |
    | 3DS FC: 5258 - 0235 - 2295 |

  3. #3
    Member Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,880.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-01-2008 09:32 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Threads
    1
    Posts
    94
    Rep Power
    160

    Default

    The storyline sounds good^^ sometimes you have mistakes like finnaly in stead of finally. and so on. Continue the story. I will read it for sure^^
    Calamity befalls oneself. Like Icarus who fell to earth when his wings were burned by the sun.

    Donīt pay too much attention to my bad english^^


  4. #4
    Junior Member UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl's Avatar
    Gil
    400.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-30-2008 12:18 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Santarem, Portugal
    Threads
    3
    Posts
    20
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    yah... ur right ^^"
    im sorry for my mistakes...^^"
    here in Portugal we usually dont use english for almost anything, only at english classes

  5. #5
    Member Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh has a reputation beyond repute Karsh's Avatar
    Gil
    1,880.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-01-2008 09:32 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Threads
    1
    Posts
    94
    Rep Power
    160

    Default

    I know^^ My english is bad too. Normally I speak german. But okay. And something, it has to be activated in stead of actived. But that mistake I often do myself^^
    Calamity befalls oneself. Like Icarus who fell to earth when his wings were burned by the sun.

    Donīt pay too much attention to my bad english^^


  6. #6
    Junior Member UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl is a splendid one to behold UndertakerGirl's Avatar
    Gil
    400.00
    Gender
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-30-2008 12:18 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Santarem, Portugal
    Threads
    3
    Posts
    20
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    ty Karsh ^^ i already edited my mistakes =D

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Naruto
    By Nami-san in forum General Anime & Manga
    Replies: 288
    Last Post: 04-30-2006, 02:22 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts