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Thread: an old poem

  1. #1
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    Gil
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    Default an old poem

    i wrote this poem about 3 years ago. I'm not good but still... here goes nothing:

    She looks out of her window
    only seeing her own reflection
    silent eyes that stare back to the distance

    Water on the window pane
    distorts her pretty face
    she feels that´s what she looks like every day

    Looking down toward the floor
    back up through the window
    she finds her misty breath
    a ghost without a haunting.

    Street light fills her empty room
    dark, cold, and lonely
    she goes back to her bed
    to try to sleep her nightmares away

    She's gonna fade away
    fade away
    she's gonna fade away
    fade away

    Nightmares - they are recurring
    monsters she could turn and face
    scream at them with all her might
    and see them run by

    One day she'll have the courage
    to do what she wants to do
    end the life of misery
    and, for once, be happy

    she's gonna fade away...

  2. #2
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    Default Re: an old poem

    lol I'm about 3 years late but...I had no idea you're so deep! Not sure if you still want criticism on it, but I'm giving you some anyway! Instead of having "She's gonna fade away..." all be one stanza, I would break it up into smaller stanzas saying "She's gonna fade away. Fade away" after each or every 2 stanzas. I do love the mood of it, though.

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    "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
    -Mark Twain

  3. #3
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    Default Re: an old poem

    Nice poem.

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