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Thread: Original Fiction: Silent Screams and Secret Scars

  1. #1
    Junior Member moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu's Avatar
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    Default Original Fiction: Silent Screams and Secret Scars

    Silent Screams and Secret Scars
    By:Maiazaki Anzu
    CHAPTER 1
    I am running. Running from the man I am expected to call father. For over nineteen years he has stabbed me, starved me, and thrown me out of a two story window. But I only survived because of a spirit named Taiteshi Ayu, one of seven sisters known as the Taiteshi Mistresses. As I run I realize that after being weak for nineteen years, it was time for a change.
    (GENERAL POV)
    As six men are walking down the sidewalk a bedraggled girl appears before them inn a flurry of bright white lights.
    (Maiazaki'sPOV)
    “Ohhhhh... what happened” I groaned as I struggled to stand up. I turned to face six men staring at me as if I was some kind of yadoki. Two of then looked Asian, one Korean, one Japanese, the Korean one looked like a midget. One of them was much taller than all the others, he had brown hair. Another one, he looked to be thirty or something, he had the most adorable brown eyes and the cutest curly brown hair! The one next to the Korean had a HUGE afro. The last one was a redhead, he was holding hands with a blondie.
    The guy with the cute curly brown hair held out his hand. Even though he was cute, I was scared of him. I didn’t know anything about him, so I scooted away from him.
    “It’s okay, I promise I won’t hurt you.” he said to me.
    With a scared puppy look on my face, I slowly took his hand. He helped me up and he noticed that I winced when he touched my arm. He pulled up my sleeve and reavealed the bruses on my arm. All of the men, including the blondie gasped loudly.
    “I-I got into a fight, last week. I-It’s no big deal.” I stuttered, but I could already tell that the man with curly hair didn’t beilive me. The others, however sighed in relief.
    (Yeah right. ‘I got into a fight.’ What the hell was I thinking?!)
    The Japanese one came over to me and said, “Well we’re glad you’re okay. My name’s Mike.”
    “Maiazaki. Maiazaki Anzu.” I said.
    The man with the HUGE afro said, “My name is Brad.”
    “I’m Joe.” said the Korean one.
    The tall man came over to me and said, “My name is Rob.” He motioned to the redhead and the blondie. “He’s Dave but we call him Pheonix, and that’s his girlfriend Lyndsey.”
    “Hi.” they both said.
    I looked at the man with curly hair. I could tell he was angry at me for not telling the truth. I knew he could tell that I had not been in a fight. I wanted to tell him, but I was too scared.
    (Oh, dear. What should I do? Who can I turn to?)
    <Taiteshi Ayu, please help me!>
    (General POV)
    Maiazaki runs into an abandoned alley. She holds the blue heart-shaped locked in her hands that connects her to Taiteshi Ayu. She is surrounded by pure cosmic energy, as she grows taller, stronger. Taiteshi Ayu has returned.
    (Taiteshi Ayu’s POV)
    I struggle to stand up. My breathing is not good. I see the six men and girl that Maiazaki see. The Japanese man come to me. He take my arms and ask me, Why did you run away from us?
    I say, I need to tell some thing.
    He say, What is it?
    I say, Maiazaki too scared to say so I say for her.
    CHAPTER 3
    At the age of seven Maiazaki Anzu’s mother gave her a blue heart-shaped locket. The locket, her mother had said, would protect her from any danger. Maiazaki had said, Mommy, what about you?
    Her mother show her the red star-shaped locket she had. Her mother had said, I have my own protection.
    But a few days later her mother was dead.
    Some people say she was in a car accident.
    Some say she had cancer.
    But none of that was true.
    It was Maiazaki’s father.
    He did it.
    He smashed her mother’s locket, destroying the spirit that had protected her mother for all those years.
    Sumomo Anzu was gone.
    Maiazaki was frightened.
    Then the abuse had started.
    He had been hitting Maiazaki, calling her a worthless little brat.
    At night she would hide in her room and cry thinking, He’s right I am a ‘worthless notlhit’. (Maiazaki’s seven-year-old way of saying worthless little brat.)
    One night as she crawled in a corner to have a good long cry about herself being a ‘worthless notlhit’, she saw a beautiful young woman appear in her bedroom window.
    Maiazaki was scared of the woman, for she feared that the woman was a moonlight yadoki.
    She tried to run, but the woman grabbed her, cradling Maiazaki in her arms.
    The woman had said,Why did you try to run from me?
    Maiazaki said, I am scared. My daddy hits me and calls me a worthless notlhit.
    The woman said, I am not your father, I am Taiteshi Ayu, and I am your savior...
    So every time that Maiazaki was stabbed, starved, and thrown out of a two story window, Taiteshi Ayu protected her. This went on for nineteen years, and Maiazaki knew she had to change. She had cast a teleportation spell, and was teleported to Los Angeles, California...
    Where she met the members of the newest band Linkin Park.
    (Taiteshi Ayu’s POV)
    That be it I think, I say.
    <Taiteshiiiii!!!!!!>
    <OKAY OKAY!!!>
    (GENERAL POV)
    Taiteshi Ayu is surrounded by the pure cosmic energy that had first surrounded Maiazaki.
    (Maiazaki’s POV)
    “So, there you have it. The story of my life.” I say.
    I dont know why but the curly-haired man just picks me up and covers me with a blanket. He is so warm. So comforting. So...
    (GENERAL POV)
    Maiazaki falls asleep in Chester’s arms. They take her over to Chester’s car, where Draven is sound asleep as well. As the two sleep, Chester drives them back to his house...
    (Maiazaki's POV)
    I wake up and I realize I am no longer in the alley where I once lay.
    I also find that I am no longer in the rags I once wore. Instead I find myself in a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt.
    I walk downstairs, an I see all the guys I saw when I lay in the alley. Mike, Rob, Joe, Brad, and Pheonix greet me with smiles. I say to myself, this is a much better life.
    Not to mention, the guy with the curly hair, whose name is Chester, happens to like me a lot...
    Last edited by moonlight_denetsu; 03-10-2008 at 04:24 PM.

  2. #2
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    ...Is there a reason you titled it so bizzare?
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  3. #3
    Just Some Color Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala's Avatar
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    http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=70404

    Are you all the same person or did you just take their story? o.O I'm confused.

  4. #4
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    They're the same person.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  5. #5
    Junior Member sakura_taisen will become famous soon enough sakura_taisen's Avatar
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    yes I am the same person. and the reason it's called "Silent Screams and Secret Scars, is that after Maiazaki's mother's death, her father abused her, and she never told her friends.

  6. #6
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
    Gil
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    These are all things that you should include in the story. Stories shouldn't have liner notes.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  7. #7
    Junior Member moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu's Avatar
    Gil
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    other than that, do you like my story?

  8. #8
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
    Gil
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    To be honest, it's a little hard to read with the way you format it. I understand you want things to look clean, but paragraphs are easier to read. Also are you trying to write as if it's a script? It's confusing when you change the format. I personally cannot concentrate on the story because there's too much going on with the writing.

    There's a lot to be said for just sticking to traditional novel format, start the story, write what's happening, write what they're saying, write their facial expressions, their body movement....
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  9. #9
    Junior Member moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu is infamous around these parts moonlight_denetsu's Avatar
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    thank you for your honest opinion. btw check out my sequel "Miracle Romance".

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