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Thread: Original Fiction: Instinct

  1. #1
    Junior Member Ucaediea has a spectacular aura about Ucaediea has a spectacular aura about Ucaediea has a spectacular aura about Ucaediea's Avatar
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    Question Original Fiction: Instinct

    Chapter. 1
    The traditional ceremony has just commenced and the ten scouts take the
    leave exiting the auditorium as hundreds of crowds cheer them on. Upon
    coming out of the auditorium the Path of Destiny awaited them. The Path
    of Destiny was a long path made of limestone with white marbled pillars on
    each side. Atop the pillars were pits of fire which flickered wildly in the wind
    ; Keladorm began to look into the sky as he spoke "This will be the first
    time in Twelve years since we've been outside of Arckaum" Arckaum was
    the Academy of Hidden Arts it was the oldest school in U'câediea and the
    Biggest also the first school created. Arckaum is the weakest school of all
    the others while it focuses on teaching the its students how to awaken
    their inner power and use their mind , body and spirit. Arckaum focuses on
    many things while others only focus on one or two things this may be the
    reason why it remains at the bottom,but Arckuam also keeps the original
    tradition and recruits it's students from the world instead of from other
    schools making Arckaum the food for other schools to feed off of by

    bringing in new faces , or fresh meat as it is looked upon in the world of
    U'câediea. Naliaa stops her conversation with her best friend Khalipso for a
    second "Yeah I see why it's only done every six years" Naliaa walks at a
    faster pace to catch up with Khalipso who was looking around her and
    remembers when they'd first came to Arckaum and what they had gone
    through in their time there " Aww I'm gonna miss you guys". Halbard looks
    away trying to hide his real feelings " Heh, I'm looking forward to some
    alone time". Shocked at this remark Odhin turns to Halbard "Oh is that really
    , you were just telling me this will be the first time we've been apart from
    each other. Halbard continues to look away from the rest of his fellow
    scouts , Vulcan begins to pat his hand on his bandana trying to stop his
    head from itching "Even so he's right I can't wait to see whats outside of
    Arckaum I wonder how much has changed in these years" Vulcan continues
    to pat his hand on his bandana, but stops to reach into his pocket for his
    cigarettes. The start coming upon the portal that would take them each to
    their destination points where they would then start their own each
    individual search for three children worthy of coming back to Arckuam. This
    would sum up a total of thirty students in all if every scout had done his or
    her job correctly, for if they failed then they would be kicked from Arckaum
    and have their memory of it erased. Douze begins to fiddle with his
    necklace " Yeah I know I'm thinking about bringing my brother here, but I
    haven't decided yet" Hashuto immediately cuts his eyes at Douze as if
    Douze had just said something Dumb. "Whats their to decide either he
    wants to be one of us or he wants to be a Norm" Nahissar begins to look
    confused and annoyed "Norm? what the hell is that Hashuto?" Not bothered
    by their looks Hashuto lets out a small sigh "It's what I call people with
    normal lives." Douze closes his eyes for a second and then opens them "
    Well I often wonder what my life would've been like normal. Naliaa jumps in

    and attempts to stop a obvious argument waiting to happen "Douze I think
    that thought has crossed all our minds at one point or another. Khalipso
    also attempts to keep the peace and changes the subject as they were
    now standing directly in front of the portal " With that being said I think I'll
    take my leave now, I need to get some more girls to liven this place up a
    little bit." Keladorm throws his arms over his shoulders "like wise I would like
    to see that" Khalipso walks is the first to make her way into the portal,
    Halbard begins to look around "Hey has anyone seen Grimm?"
    Hashuto looks over at Halbard "He went the other way said he wasn't
    wasting anytime saying goodbyes" Vulcan begins to take a couple Puffs
    and puts his hand to his cigarette it immediately catches on fire and burns
    to black ash blowing away into the wind."Thas Grimm For ya he's always
    been that way, not a big talker Vulcan lets his smoke exhale before finishing
    his sentence "He's a great person though. Odhin lets out a long sigh and
    then begins to make his way towards the portal " I guess I'm off" as he
    says this Nahissar begins to take off "I'm right behind ya buddy" Douze
    looks to ponder leaving before he rushes to catch up with Nahissar " Wait
    count me in too! Ha Ha" Halbard seems to accept the fact that Grimm will

    not show and begins to walk through the portal. Keladorm stares at the
    portal as it looks like a black void into the beyond he Knew that on the
    otherside awaited his First test as a scout he begans to make an effort to
    cheer his friends up before leaving. " It's only for a year it'll be over before
    you know it" He smiles and turns to the portal. Naliaa smiles big and yells
    out her butterflies " YEAH! JUST FOR ONE YEAR I'M GONNA HAVE MYSELF A
    BLAST WHOO! She take a running start and dives into the portal.
    Tightening his bandana Vulcan thinks to himself " A blast huh? I hopes she
    remembers that we can't interact with the children until they've been
    erolled into the system, even then she can only give the invitation here it
    can only began once all children are here; well im outta here too. Hashuto
    begins to look back at Arckuam " Cya....looks like I'm the last person to
    leave...I'm going to miss this place, I'm talking as if I won't be back, but it's
    like when I left home for the first time it's crazy" Hashuto begins to look
    down at the ground " On top of that I wonder if I can actually get three
    children to come back here I mean it's like three outta like a million , but
    what if I end up with alot more than three or what if I have none at
    all...what if they fail the test- Grimm's voice rings out at him " You talking
    to yourself again?" Grimm looks down at Hashuto with his arms crossed.
    Hashuto hears Grimm's voice and looks up to find him standing upside down
    on a tree branch " I thought you'd gone already?" Head first Grimm begins
    to let himself free fall from the tree branch he first, flipping his body forward
    in time to land on his feet. " I was watching from the trees the whole
    time...I wanted to be the last to leave I guess." Hashuto throws a hand
    around Grimm's right shoulder " Let leave together." Grimm's laughs a little
    and notices that Hashuto is really scared , "Don't worry you'll do fine man"
    Hashuto smiles at Grimm" I guess your
    right." They both walk through the portal vanishing from sight.
    Last edited by Ucaediea; 03-03-2008 at 09:31 PM.

  2. #2
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
    Gil
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    I dunno if you copy pasted it and maybe the format got messed up, but the two lines and then a blank line is kind of ... weird on the eyes.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  3. #3
    Junior Member Ucaediea has a spectacular aura about Ucaediea has a spectacular aura about Ucaediea has a spectacular aura about Ucaediea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Ai View Post
    I dunno if you copy pasted it and maybe the format got messed up, but the two lines and then a blank line is kind of ... weird on the eyes.
    TY ^-^ I thought it would be easier to read that way ,but I guess it was fine the way it was b4

  4. #4
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    Some spaces are good, but alternating like that only really works for poems, or scripts.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


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