Helping friends through hard times

[kingdomhearts_tom]

Todays been a crazy day for me, my best friend has had a bad, messed up few hours in which he got hit by a random guy in the street for wearing a black-top (ironically hes the only one in our groups of friends who isn't a goth/emo).
Then he got home and his mum threatened to leave his Dad and him, and finally he got dumped by his girlfriend over the internet (shallow... i know).

So ive been at his side through all this and tried my best to comfort him. It was hard to think what to say and in the end we just shared the last of an old bottle of whiskey before he went home.

I just wondered if anybody on AF has ever had to comfort someone for any amount of tragic reasons and i just wondered how they went about it.

[Hideki Motosuwa.]

I'm a loner, and I don't have many friends. The best I've ever done for my few friends, is give them advice, because there's not that many people that come to me for their problems. I've told this one person back in freshmen year, that "Everything's gonna be alright, and don't worry, I'm there for you no matter what, and no matter how far apart we are." Unfortunately, I never saw her again.

[Chaos Proxy]

Wow, he really did have a bad day. o_o
Tell him that brighter/better days are waiting for him, or something.


(Meh..I wish I could suggest anything useful, but I don't socialize with people around me.)

[Eris]

I dragged an unbelievably drunk guy home to his apartment once. Almost the same thing, no? He probably would have frozen to death, or at least gotten severe pneumonia if I hadn't.

[prototypetetra]

i always try to help my friends when they are in need... sadly they cannot reciprocate since they seem to be... oblivious to how to really help me... but oh well...

i think i was a very good person... i can even recall telling one of them to er.. pray to god and all of that...

hey miss chii... are you cameron? just using another name?... i wonder if i can change my name as well... hmmm...

[Meyrin]

Many of my friends come to me for advice and sometimes people I don't really know come for advice too.Don't ask me why cause I don't have a clue.Honestly I don't see why they come too me but if I see others in need of help, I'll help them.

The worst thing I had to deal with was one of my friends wanted to comit suicide.If I harent come over her house that night,she probably would be dead.

[ryku isaigana]

I've been around there myself, but I was able to hold myself up. My parents always fought everyday, but I'm able to nullify the situation. Tell your friend to think about what's right, have fun... life is too short, and continue on forward. It's also great to take some time alone. More or less this would be the basic way to keep your own cool.

[DaSOCOM]

I dragged an unbelievably drunk guy home to his apartment once. Almost the same thing, no? He probably would have frozen to death, or at least gotten severe pneumonia if I hadn't.

Whoa!! You are not human, you can NOT help people!!

That being said, I have helped a lot of people through some hard times before. The best thing you can be is there. Talking it out is usually one of the best things you can do when you're down. So therefore, the best thing to help is to listen.

Occasionally alcohol, drugs, and sex will help. Depends on the issue.

Peace,
DaSOCOM

[IceBubleFlava]

Well I hate when my friends are in time of need. I've never had a moment like that every happen to me. It's just cuz' I'm the happy go lucky type, or my life is the good life. I just don't know how to comfort them. I just try to talk to them. But they don't think I can take it serious. Cuz' I always joke around. My friend mom died during the summer of 6 grade. Her dad's still in jail, and her brother's and sisters, went to live with their dads. SHe lives with her grandma. And one day she came to class, everything was going fine. When all of a sudden she broke out crying I was like what the.....my other friend went to get my other friends help. I felt useless. (I need to change my attitude. ppl really don't take me seriously.)

[Wio]

I just wondered if anybody on AF has ever had to comfort someone for any amount of tragic reasons and i just wondered how they went about it.

Well, just be the same old friend that you have always been.
Just be sure to be a bit less rough or whatever, you know what I mean.

Most guys just want to be left alone when they are having a bad week.

[NinnaMoon]

Yeah, I've always had to comfort friends, and let me tell you...it's not an easy job! Especially when your friend is going through tough times like that!! Well, what I do in that situation is I try to think about something possitive he/she might like to hear! I hug them and rock them slowly telling them that it'll be okay!! I also try to make them smile or giggle a little, depending on the vibes I catch from them! I don't let any one irratating talk to them and I become very protective. And I don't allow them to channel their emotions in a unbennifitial mannor either.

[Gizoku]

I just wondered if anybody on AF has ever had to comfort someone for any amount of tragic reasons and i just wondered how they went about it.

Yeah. I have a few times here and there. Though my friends are usually really stubborn and dont tell whats wrong... D:

[Sanosuke23]

What do I do? Well I can tell you what I don't do. I sure don't make a blog post about it in Misc. and tack a shallow discussion topic at the end of it to deflect suspicion.

[Gero50]

Well nothing like that has ever happened to me
but my friend Gary has had that happen to him before
ya his latest girlfriend dumped him but in school yesterday and he just wanted someone to talk to about it u know for support and all.
I wasn't really feeling in my best moon aether that day so I guess we helped each oth out that was nice I don't know if that is good enough but its the only one I got

[Masali]

I agree with Sanosuke...

However, doesn't mean I never helped my friends thought tough times. My friend is going through like...kind of an existential crisis. I've been trying to tell him he's not worthless and talentless but he's kind of convinced he is. I've been doing my best here, so yeah.

[Faceless111]

I agree with Masali and Sanosuke. These types of things make me think, "Wow, you don't much care for their privacy." It's much like a case of the Mysympace that went around my school where students were posting crap on Myspace about their "sympathies" about a kid that committed suicide a couple years back. It's all worthless if you broadcast how "caring" you are on the interwebs.

Anyways, to answer the thread at hand, I am lucky enough to have a group of friends that don't really need my help. Of course, I'm willing to give it if it's truly necessary but I also try to let them sort it out on their own. I don't accept much help for my personal problems, in any case. I am talking about emotional help, though. Again, many of my friends don't even need that kind of support anyways.

But of course, if one of my friends asks me to help him set up the drum kit and keyboard for band practice or something like that, I'm happy to help.

[kingdomhearts_tom]

Well as to the people you said this shouldn't have been posted, it occured to me that no one on here knows me personally, they don't know where i live or who my friend is, what do you class as privacy? I just thought it would make a thread good for discussion, never to 'deflect suspicion' or whatever, so sorry sano, i'll try and think things through more next time

[Faceless111]

Well, if I saw someone post something about private about me, I wouldn't like it none too much. Even if I was anonymous, the person that posted certainly didn't think about my privacy or how I would feel about my personal problems floating around the internet.

[kingdomhearts_tom]

Mmm... well its down to opinion really. I'm not saying i can't see where you're coming from. It's just i thought of the idea of a thread of peoples ideas on how to help each other and the way i went about it was to use a real life situation that had happened recently. Sure i may be in the wrong but whats done is done and i accept resonsiblity, sorry anyone who thought it was shallow.