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Thread: A Zelda poem sort of

  1. #1
    Senior Member ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default A Zelda poem sort of

    I am not much of a poet but i just came up with this on a whim and i thought it sounded pretty good if ya like tell me what you think because i may make more poems if you like this one. ^_^

    I started my quest at the age of ten
    bought a sword and shield with my last yen
    I left the place i called my home
    And left my friends on their own
    While traveling the lands far and wide
    A mysterious owl became my guide
    I was told to go looking around
    And find the princess in the next town
    Sure enough i found her there
    She said I looked familiar I met you somewhere
    She told me then what I must do
    To stop the evil coming to
    I continued to travel as I was told
    Crossing the desert, seas so cold
    Finished at last I found my way back
    Only to find the town under attack
    I made my way to the castle gate
    Just to find i was to late
    There the soldiers lay there dead
    And a dark figure stands ahead
    I charged at him with all i might
    Was knocked away without a fight
    Before he delivered the final attack
    A golden light protected me pushing him back
    I know now why I am here
    To save this world and destroy that fear
    I pulled out my Magical sword
    And killed that beast as I did times before
    I found the princess i met years ago
    I then said i remember it all
    My destiny,travels,triumphs, and falls
    Before she could say anything more
    I walked away and said we have done this before
    It wont be the last time that I was sure
    When that beast comes back the people will find
    The next Link, Hero Of Time!
    Last edited by ChibiInuyasha; 02-27-2008 at 02:41 PM. Reason: Spelling
    Been gone for 3 months ive lost alot but learned alot now im back... but for how long i wonder?
    *meow* =^-^=



  2. #2
    Member bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7 has a reputation beyond repute bri_hime7's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Pretty good; I liked it! =)

    Though there were some spelling issues I think you should fix:

    And left my friends on there own
    The correct spelling is "their".
    • They're = they are
    • Their = possessive
    • There = location
    Remember this sentence: "They're going to their house over there."

    She said i looked familiar I met you some were
    First: "somewhere" is two words, and you spelled it kinda wrong. ^^;

    Also, if you're going to capitalize the word "I" in part of the sentence, do it in the rest of the sentence too. And do it everywhere else; you wrote "i" in a LOT of places. xD

    Crossing the desert seas so cold
    Add a comma: "desert, seas so cold".
    (I thought it said "desert seas". Or that it meant to say "deserted seas". xD)

    I now why i am here
    That should be "know". (And there's another lowercase "i"...)

    My destiny my travels my triumphs my falls
    Not essentially necessary (since the word "my" tends to separate things), but you could add commas here too. It might make things a little easier to read: "My destiny, my travels, my triumphs, my falls"

    The next Link Hero Of Time!
    And this last line definitely needs a comma: "The next Link, Hero Of Time!"

  3. #3
    Senior Member ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha's Avatar
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    i never was the best at english but thank you i will make another in the near future and ill try to fix those mistakes ^_^
    Been gone for 3 months ive lost alot but learned alot now im back... but for how long i wonder?
    *meow* =^-^=



  4. #4
    Junior Member KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi has much to be proud of KayatekHeioshi's Avatar
    Gil
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    This is really good, it has a good little story to it to follow, I like it, but like bri_hime7 said there are a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes, nothing you can't grasp by practice. Nice job, keep writing.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha's Avatar
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    thank you i fixed all of the mistakes on this one at least i think i got all of em. im gonna start thinking about my next one soon.
    Been gone for 3 months ive lost alot but learned alot now im back... but for how long i wonder?
    *meow* =^-^=



  6. #6
    Senior Member ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha has a reputation beyond repute ChibiInuyasha's Avatar
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    Well I made another one Sonic related its not as good as this one though i had a friend over who dont shut up so i felt a little rushed and it did not come out as good but does anyone want anything specific I liked most of the classics sonic, zelda, mario, DK ect. So just throw some ideas out there and i will see what i can do ^_^

    P.S. I am thinking about a Zelda Majoras Mask poem atm
    Been gone for 3 months ive lost alot but learned alot now im back... but for how long i wonder?
    *meow* =^-^=



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