Right age for a relationship

[prototypetetra]

This is a very straight forward question. What do you think is the right age to be in a romantic relationship?

I have been reading posts by young people saying that they were, are or want to be in such a thing already. I know I am not the one to talk since my first relationship was probably when I was 14, but though I cannot find the full rationality behind this concern, I simply feel that people should wait a little longer. I do not think that it is wrong but rather, risky in the sense that they might get taken advantage of.

Can they handle the emotion? The lust? The responsibility? People could be making love already without even knowing what birth control means, their lives could get ruined so easily at such a young age.

[vixen_wolf]

wow thats weird one.......eh you can be in a relationship whenever i guess. there no harm really. as long as theres not a huge age difference. most people who are BF GF just hang out anyways. as far as sex goes well thats there call. as long as there smart about it. if not well then thats there prob to deal with -shrugs-

[Dark Ninja]

I think, it depends on them if they want to be in a relationship as long as they are responsible enough about many things. And should know how to control it and don't forget about their studies.

[Eris]

It is impossible to make blanket statements as for the right age for a relationship. Maturity is individual, and does not come at the same speed for all people.

I know 15 year olds who are more mature than most 20 year olds, likewise, I know 30 year olds that are less mature than most 15 year olds.

[Exquiro]

Like Eris said, I think it really depends on how emotionally mature the individual is.

Vixen_blah mentioned something about age gaps. I think the same applies here. If you get a kid that acts five years older and an adult that acts five younger I don't see why they shouldn't date.

[███]

Most married couples should never have been aloud to graduate from preschool. It's based on maturity, not age.

[dream magician]

age doesn't matter,as long as your mature enough to handle it.

[Shinn Kamiyra]

I have to say I agree with most everyone else here who has said that individual emotional maturity is an important factor to consider in a relationship. I mean, I've seen kids around six or seven years or age who called each other boyfriend and girlfriend, and all they ever did was hang out; maybe with each other more than anyone else, but you get the idea.

I guess it all depends on your level of perception and what beliefs you hold that might determine the proper age for a relationship. Even if this is done however, I don't think it's something you should easily force on someone else who is an emotionally stable and physically healthy relationship just because there may be an age difference differing from what you think is 'right'. This is just one example of course; however, I think you get the idea.

[allaboutyou3678]

any age that you (and who ever your with) is ready.

[Akihiko Yamamoto Hozagaki]

Oh jeez... another age question. As far as I'm concerned age has nothing to do with it. A ten year-old can say that he/she has a boyfriend, but is it really the same kind of love we're thinking of? I tend to think not. You'd be surprised how fast kids are maturing these days. I don't know about you, but everyone here knows about birth control... it's the new "in" thing to be informed. And come on, when you were fourteen, did you really think: "Oh man, I'm so young and innocent. I know I'm not ready for this!" I highly doubt that. A little relationship isn't going to ruin a kid's life either, it probably won't last very long. I'm sorry, but there is not "right" age for a relationship. You get into one when you feel ready, it's quite healthy.

Speaking of feeling ready, the same with sex. Yeah, I mean I don't think sex should be limited by age. How can there be an age limit for sex? If you feel ready go for it! It's your fault if you screw it up, not society's. I know, that technically means I think it's fine for a thirteen year-old to have sex, and I'm fine with that. Some kids will just mess it up for themselves. But if they're smart, they'll realize they're not ready. I'm sure as hell not ready. I'm not going to encourage kids to have sex, I'm going to encourage them to prepare for safe sex.

[Ramona Flowers]

Good topic ~blows a kiss to prototype~

It all depends. No one can tell you you're not in love. My first real relationship and true love was when I was 13, about to be 14 and I was dating a guy who was 19 going on 20.

I know, it sounds messed up. But age is sometimes just a number, and nothing more. He wasn't a sicko or anything, rofl, he thought I was 16. The realationship went on for about 4 years.
As far as sex, we didn't have it for years. We were responsible, foreplay can make up for alot. n.~
But I was only in the relationship because I knew I was ready, as ready as I'd ever be anyway. It all depends on the mentality of the individual.

[poison.ivy]

Age is not that important, tho I'm personally against 16 year-old girls and 30 year-old men, cuz in most (not all, MOST) cases the guy just (ab)uses the poor *dumbenoughtofallforhisiloveyoucrap* girl. But hey, I'm 16 and my bf's 20. We're together for almost 2 years now. I'm more mature than other 16 year-old girls (by his words), otherwise he wouldn't be with me. On the other hand, his friend is 25 and doesn't have any idea what to do with his life, he's a college dropout and just plays video games by day and party around by night (and makes out with 13-16 year old girls who fall for him cuz he's cute and looks much younger, but that's another story). And he's 25. Maturity, emotional and mental, is more important than age, tho you shouldn't go too far with age differences.

[NovaStar]

This is a question I often think of myself, But how young is too young? Obviously no matter how old you are, if you're in love with someone, then that's it. plain and simple, you love them.

I had this argument with someone about 8 months ago on "how soon is too soon" - and my response has always been.

When you know what True Love is? then you know you're able to continue with a relationship: Most kids, and I use the term "Kids" Describing those whom are about 13 and under(No offense to Pengin, this isn't a shot at you, because I find you inteligent) will strut around saying "Yeah, I've got a girlfriend/boyfriend) and do that only to show off to their friends.

Relationships: I agree though: Have no Age, and is STRICTLY based on Maturity, now when you get past the Immaturity of my above statement? Then you'll be able to persue a relationship. Because a Relationship? isn't a 2 month thing where you fling "I love you" around just to make the other person feel good.

When you say something or do something, you mean it in a relationship: And that's the most important part.

Being in love. - So, Any Age is fine, so long as you handle the relationship with Maturity.

[prototypetetra]

I personally agree and believe that it is maturity that matters and not the age in years itself, however, it cannot be so easily measured and people can understand the concept of physical age better.

12 years old, for example, that is definite one cannot interpret that the wrong way. However, a lot of people think that they themselves are mature when in reality, they are far from being one.

There has to be a range where, atleast, a majority of human beings reach a certain level of maturity that makes them capable of fending off for themselves in terms of handling such relationships.

Perhaps I am asking for something unreasonable.

How I hate dealing with these things.

Just to note, it is illegal to have sex with a minor and this is what makes it wrong, technically not morally. I believe the sentence hovers somewhere around life imprisonment. Even if you think that you are ready or have pills and other birth control machinations, you can send a person to his or her doom by merely making love to him or her.

[Beast]

Any age really. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, partly because I could care less. Though no one will take you and your relationships seriously until you hit age 15-16

[prototypetetra]

Exactly, Beast, I guess my initial question was flawed, since I did not indicate seriousness clearly. People can be in a mickey mouse relationship but believe that they are having the real thing and persist on the claim or even get offended when told otherwise. I think I should have tried to establish what a relationship is or is supposed to be before making this thread.

If you are not taking it seriously at all, then it is no different from merely playing a game.

[Faceless111]

You can contract an STD at any age!

[NinnaMoon]

Defiantly I think you should be at least 17-19 years old to have a romantic relationship with someone. You should actually be married or in the process to be married for this relationship anyhow, but reality is...that's just not going to happen, so 17-19 years is good enough!

[MissChelly]

Ehhh... I'd say any age... HOWEVER, I seriously can't see someone having a mature relationship at 12. Seriously, c'mon.
Just because you feel you're mature at 12, doesn't mean you are mature. I do agree though that there are SOME kids who are far more mature than a lot of adults. But, I know, even at age 12- I was pretty level headed and due to that- I saw no point IN a relationship at that age. lol

I know when you're 12, 13, 14- you probably hear people say "just don't grow up too fast, enjoy being a kid!" a lot- but it's kinda true. Enjoy not having to pay any bills or rent, enjoy having your doctor visits paid for, enjoy not having to pay taxes, enjoy not needing to worry about relationships yet or even sex yet. I know at those ages you still have A LOT going on stress-wise... heck, puberty doesn't help that stress either. But that just seems like all the more reason not to add to such stress things that you shouldn't worry about till you're older.

Besides, you'll have so much time to deal with the responsibilities of a relationship later on in the years. Really, I promise. (Unless you have a terminal disease or die early on by some accident or murder, of course, lol.)

As for sex wise for anyone, any age- if you can't afford to take care of yourself- you can't afford to take care of a baby. If you can't afford to take care of a baby, you shouldn't be risking it in the first place, crazy.

[Buruku]

If you're under 14 years old and have said "I'm too young and stupid to really be able to have a great relationship." then you're mature enough to be in a relationship.

But since you're so mature, you won't go out with anyone until you feel you're old enough too.

Make sense?

[King_Shadow89]

Defiantly I think you should be at least 17-19 years old to have a romantic relationship with someone. You should actually be married or in the process to be married for this relationship anyhow, but reality is...that's just not going to happen, so 17-19 years is good enough!

I agree with you and along with the other members. Personaly I think a person who cand hand hard ship and problems with out raising havoc then your ready for a true relationship.
I am against these older guys going after these younger women for the wrong reasons. Most of the time is just the looks and sex. It mainly depends on the maturity level of the person. And besides it is illigal for anyone over the age of eighteen to be in a serouse relationship with anyone younger than eighteen. Even if the parents allow it the laws can step in and send the older one to jail.

Like in my case, I was seventeen years old, I was going out with this twenty one year old woman. Long story short she got sent to jail because she told the wrong person that we had sex. I didn't understand why she got sent to jail until the cops sat me down and explained everything. He said that by her even touching me in places and kissing me, it was illegal and can go to jail with the charges of child melestation. well I sent to much time on this thread later everone.

[rf switch]

I say 15....But uhh..If we're talking about my own daughter (which i don't have yet) then the right age is 35.

[Alicaryn Silentread]

Well, I think it's all been said, but I think that age and maturity have to be a factor in determining a relationship. Especially if the person is a minor and well, their significant other isn't. Personally, I don't think my mother would appreciate me dating a 30-35 year old man, even if I was 18.

But maturity is a big issue. I just don't know, like it just really sucks that guys mature slower than girls on an emotional level because even when dating older guys, sometimes it just feels like they just "aren't there" yet. And it's a bad thing and really limits one's dating choices, imo.

[Lola Granola]

Like what most people said, it depends on how mature you are.

Generally I think its fine to start dating in high school.

For something that lasts? After you graduate high school.

[Hideki Motosuwa.]

Everyone is right, age doesn't really have much to do with it, just as long as you know what you're doing.