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Thread: Sakura Taisen - Christmas Paris

  1. #1
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    Default Sakura Taisen - Christmas Paris

    Well, since I was the one who requested that this board be split off from Lyrics Requests, I might as well actually use it, huh? Here's a seasonally appropriate translation I'd like some help with.

    雪が降る
    白い吐息の 巴里の街
    ソリが行く
    走る子供の はしゃぐ声
    ピカピカと
    色とりどりの 電球が
    街中を
    クリスマス色 染め上げる
    もみの木を買う パパとママが 
    子供のような 笑顔浮かべてる

    yuki ga furu
    shiroi toiki no Pari no machi
    SORI ga yuku
    hashiru kodomo no hashagu koe
    PIKAPIKA to
    iro toridori no denkyuu ga
    machi-juu o
    KURISUMASU-iro someageru
    momi no ki o kau PAPA to MAMA ga
    kodomo no you na egao ukabete'ru

    Snow falls
    The white-breathed city of Paris [1]
    Sleighs go by
    The merry voices of running children
    The glittering
    Multicolored lights
    Dye the whole city
    In Christmas colors
    The mama and papa buying a fir tree
    Are smiling happily like children

    街は行く
    三角帽子 揺れている
    赤い鼻
    酔った大人が 千鳥足
    プレゼント
    恋人たちが 選んでる
    喜びを
    ショーウインドに 飾ってる
    ご馳走作る ママが歌う 
    暖炉の前に ツリー飾りましょ

    machi wa yuku
    sankakuboushi yurete iru
    akai hana
    yotta otona ga chidoriashi
    PUREZENTO
    koibito-tachi ga erande'ru
    yorokobi o
    SHOO UINDO ni kazatte'ru
    gochisou tsukuru MAMA ga utau
    danro no mae ni TSURII kazarimasho

    The town moves (?) [2]
    With their three-cornered hats swaying
    And their noses red
    Tipsy adults stagger along
    Lovers
    Are choosing presents
    The display windows
    Are decorated with joy
    The mother making a feast is singing
    In front of the fireplace, let's decorate the tree

    雪が降る
    歌が聞こえる 路地裏に
    ヒイラギと
    花売り娘 踊ってる
    教会の
    鐘が鳴ります 美しく
    街中が
    クリスマス色 染め上げて
    サンタがソリで やって来るよ 
    さあ靴下の 準備出来てるか?

    yuki ga furu
    uta ga kikoeru rojiura ni
    HIIRAGI to
    hana urijou odotte'ru
    kyoukai no
    kane ga narimasu utsukushiku
    machi-juu ga
    KURISUMASU-iro someagete
    SANTA ga SORI de yatte kuru yo
    saa kutsushita no junbi dekite'ru ka?

    Snow falls
    You can hear a song -- in the back alleys [3]
    The girl who sells
    Holly and flowers is dancing
    The church bells
    Are ringing beautifully
    The whole city is dyed
    In Christmas colors
    Santa is coming in his sleigh
    Say, are the stockings ready?

    輝く笑顔 みんなの笑顔
    街中がキラキラと光ってる
    輝く笑顔 みんなの笑顔
    街中がクリスマスで みんな幸せ

    kagayaku egao minna no egao
    machi-juu ga KIRAKIRA to hikatte'ru
    kagayaku egao minna no egao
    machi-juu ga KURISIMASU de minna shiawase

    Sparkling smiles, everyone's smiles
    The whole city is twinkling with lights
    Sparkling smiles, everyone's smiles
    Because it's Christmas, all through the city, everyone is happy

    雪が降る クリスマス
    ららららん ららららん みんな幸せ
    雪が降る 今日はみんな楽しい夜
    ららららん ららららん みんな幸せ

    yuki ga furu KURISUMASU
    rarararan rarararan minna shiawase
    yuki ga furu kyou wa minna tanoshii yoru
    rarararan rarararan minna shiawase

    Snow falls on Christmas
    Lalalala, lalalala, everyone is happy
    Snow falls, tonight is a night everyone enjoys
    Lalalala, lalalala, everyone is happy

    輝く笑顔 みんなの笑顔
    街中がキラキラと光ってる

    kagayaku egao minna no egao
    machi-juu ga KIRAKIRA to hikatte'ru

    Sparkling smiles, everyone's smiles
    The whole city is twinkling with lights

    雪が降る クリスマス
    ららららん ららららん みんな幸せ

    yuki ga furu KURISUMASU
    rarararan rarararan minna shiawase

    Snow falls on Christmas
    Lalalala, lalalala, everyone is happy

    輝く笑顔 みんなの笑顔
    街中がクリスマスで みんな幸せ

    kagayaku egao minna no egao
    machi-juu ga KURISUMASU de minna shiawase

    Sparkling smiles, everyone's smiles
    Because it's Christmas, all through the city, everyone is happy

    巴里の街 今日はみんな楽しい夜
    ららららん ららららん みんな幸せ
    メリークリスマス!

    Pari no machi kyou wa minna tanoshii yoru
    rarararan rarararan minna shiawase
    MERII KURISUMASU!

    The city of Paris -- tonight is a night everyone enjoys
    Lalalala, lalalala, everyone is happy
    Merry Christmas!

    [1] This was the best way I could come up with to translate the line, but it still doesn't sound quite right. Anyone have any other suggestions?

    [2] The way I have it can't be right, but I can't figure out what else it would mean. Unless "machi wa yuku" could mean "going through the town" or something like that? Or is it an idiomatic thing?

    [3] I'm not absolutely certain whether the "rojiura" belongs to "uta ga kikoeru" or to "hanaurijou odotte'ru".
    Last edited by bluepenguin; 12-20-2007 at 09:58 PM.

  2. #2
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    Don't you just hate the disability of this forum in double-spacing... but oh well. Can't do anything about it.

    [1] For metaphors that seem to be incompatible in English, I use brackets to put in helping words that may look wrong in literal translation, but is needed to give the meaning across. In this case, the white breaths are depicting the temperature of Paris at that time. I'll try to do this with some rearranging...
    Snow falls
    In the city of Paris, (where people exhale) white breaths


    [2] I came across this "moving town" expression once in a Yuinyan song, to me it means how a city "moves on" or "moves along" in daily action.

    [3] You can find the clues on who possesses what in a stanza by looking at its sentence structure. Here, the sentences go in pairs, so I guess it's owned by the song, again with this "ending verb in the middle" structure which is valid but puts many people off.

    祝! 『禁断の病棟』 アニメ化!

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    A magnificent translation. I think you did beautiful work with the lines, especially in the more tricky parts.

    >白い吐息の 巴里の街
    Note that 吐息 means not just a breath but a sigh.
    Additionally, to be faithful to the usage of の in 「吐息の街」 (the city of sighs) (e.g. 読書の秋=the season [=fall] of reading、常夏の国=the land of year round summers) the line should be something along the lines of "the Parisian city of white breaths (sighs)"

    >街は行く
    Basically what AzureDark-san said. I offer "the city moves along".

    >プレゼント
    >恋人たちが 選んでる
    >喜びを
    >ショーウインドに 飾ってる
    >Lovers
    >Are choosing presents
    >The display windows
    >Are decorated with joy
    Note each of the two of the four lines symmetrically correspond to each other (「プレゼント…選んでる」 /「 喜びを…飾ってる」) so it makes sense to arrange the lines accordingly.
    "Lovers
    Are choosing presents
    Decorating,
    The display windows with joy"
    Note also that 選んでる and 飾ってる are both verbs associated with the 恋人たち. My first impression was that the line is a metaphorical allusion to the faces of the 恋人たち mirrored on the display windows, i.e. "the reflections of the faces of the lovers mirrored in the display windows are themselves decorations of joy".

    >雪が降る
    >歌が聞こえる 路地裏に
    >ヒイラギと
    >花売り娘 踊ってる
    >Snow falls
    >You can hear a song -- in the back alleys [3]
    >The girl who sells
    >Holly and flowers is dancing
    If I were to break the lines down, it would go as so:

    「雪が降る+歌が聞こえる」→「路地裏に(=で)」 -> In the back alleys, where snow falls and singing can be heard.
    「ヒイラギと花売り娘」(が)「踊ってる」 -> The flower girl and hollies are dancing.

    Again, the line 「ヒイラギ…踊ってる」 looks suspiciously like a metaphor to me. The holly is dancing with the flower girl, i.e. "So lively is the flower girl's dance that the holly she holds in her hands look like they are dancing with her".



    ほほー、これはクリスマスイブは暗い部屋で一人でギャルゲーやってたらいつの間にか日付が変わってた僕への あてつけですか?(コ-ティカルテ可愛いよコ-ティカルテ…)
    クリスマス?それ、食えるの? (´ A `)
    Last edited by Datenshi; 12-26-2007 at 07:35 AM.

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    Thanks, both of you!

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