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Thread: Walking in the rain

  1. #1
    Member -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire-'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Walking in the rain

    A dark road
    in the rain
    will the light..
    save the pain?

    I can't sleep
    And you're my waking thought
    Do you know you've made me lose everything
    everything that mattered?

    Walking in the rain,
    i still feel the pain
    but will it cleanse the sin
    So my repentance can begin?

    You're dwelling in my blood
    A sickness that can't be cured
    When will my feelings flood,
    take over yours?

    It's dark now
    The light has gone
    The rain is heavy
    Still singing my song

    Am i in your thoughts
    like you're in mine?
    Will i forget you?
    Do i just need time?

    Tears fall for you
    and you don't care
    Pity me?
    Don't you dare.

    You've cast a spell
    not just on me
    It's a curse
    on us three.

    The rain is falling
    Will it stop?
    Darkness is here
    Will light ever come?

  2. #2
    Junior Member remi is on a distinguished road remi's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    It is once again raw feeling, which is your style. It has a pleasant rhythm to it, and the short lines, in a way, remind me of rain itself. At the same time, the choice of words does give it a dark, sombre feel, which fits with the topic.

  3. #3
    Walking TaLL Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy has a reputation beyond repute Lune Cy's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    You've cast a spell
    not just on me
    It's a curse
    on us three.


    i love that part ^^...nice poem..^^
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