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Thread: Fleeting

  1. #1
    Senior Member Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Fleeting

    I don't know why I'm bursting at the seams with poetry or why I'm suddenly writing so many verses when normally, I'd hardly want to do poetry at all. I don't know whether to even call this sudden need a blessing or view it as cumbersome. But in any case, here you go

    ~Fleeting~

    A cry is heard
    Tenderness felt
    The warmth sublime
    Your breath shallow
    Your eyes innocent
    Your senses peaked
    Much to learn
    Much to seek
    And so you try
    Whilst asking why

    But then change descends
    Needs flare
    Heat swells
    And sometimes you despair
    Wings develop
    The yearning to fly
    Feeling strangled
    As you cry
    Wanting recognition
    Wanting individualism
    Needing love
    Needing fulfillment

    But soon its gained
    A full acknowledgement
    You work to keep it
    You strive to seal it
    A pillar of strength
    A pillar of hope
    For those who look up
    And see this light
    You project so strongly
    Through your good fight

    But now its over
    You look to the sky
    You wonder where
    Time passed you by
    As you smile
    In pure contentment
    With your style
    And your regiment
    You sigh
    You yield to life's cruel fate
    Wanting peace
    Wanting rest
    From life's fleeting state

    ~END~
    Last edited by Hypergraphian; 12-28-2007 at 02:35 AM.

    ~*Why don't they get tired, Because they're fools, Don't fools get tired, How can fools get tired?*~ www.hypergraphiansmuse.blogspot.com
    AF Family
    "Red" - Younger brother
    "*Ninna* ~ Hatake - Sister-in-law"

  2. #2
    Senior Member Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense has a reputation beyond repute Future_Defense's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Because I hate seeing threads with no replies, here's my thoughts. The poem is neither too short nor too long (Believe me, this comes up a lot). The use of the 'senses' makes me feel like I'm there, so good job. Keep up the good work.
    Nøytral
    følelsesløs
    Min logikk kretser
    Blir skadet
    Ved en landeplage av følelser!
    Hva kan jeg gjøre?
    Alt jeg trodde jeg var ...
    Jeg er blitt mer.
    Mer menneske; et annet cog i maskinen av livet.
    Hvorfor kan jeg nyte dette?
    Jeg er så forvirret ...

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