AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com


User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Original Fiction: Lover's Death Curse

  1. #1
    Junior Member pieceofheaven is on a distinguished road pieceofheaven's Avatar
    Gil
    20.00
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    12-27-2007 11:02 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Age
    23
    Threads
    1
    Posts
    1
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Original Fiction: Lover's Death Curse

    Prologue
    Futuristic Tokyo-a place where people want to live. All seems well, one seems to think. But what most people don't know is that some citizens have the Lover's Death Curse. It's a type of curse that makes someone kill their sinificgant other. The person they killed then comes to life and kills his or her killer and they'll be together forever.
    This story is about a couple who has this kind of curse. Namyka Ismene is a emo rocker who's a lead singer in a local rock/alternative/scremo band Kokoro Kurai, or Dark Heart. Her boyfriend, nerdy emo Iminika Rye, works in a music store.
    The two thought they were just a normal couple who wasn't effected by the Curse. But a event happened that made them realized that they were.
    What will happen to Ismene and Rye? Can they fight the Curse or will the Curse make them victims?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian has a reputation beyond repute Hypergraphian's Avatar
    Gil
    8,240.00
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    04-19-2010 09:13 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Threads
    28
    Posts
    412
    Rep Power
    329

    Default

    I haven't posted enough reviews lately and its hightime I should. So here goes.

    Quote Originally Posted by pieceofheaven View Post
    Prologue

    Futuristic Tokyo-a place where people want to live. All seems well, one seems to think. But what most people don't know is that some citizens have the Lover's Death Curse. It's a type of curse that makes someone kill their sinificgant other. The person they killed then comes to life and kills his or her killer and they'll be together forever.
    This story is about a couple who has this kind of curse. Namyka Ismene is a emo rocker who's a lead singer in a local rock/alternative/scremo band Kokoro Kurai, or Dark Heart. Her boyfriend, nerdy emo Iminika Rye, works in a music store.
    The two thought they were just a normal couple who wasn't effected by the Curse. But a event happened that made them realized that they were.

    What will happen to Ismene and Rye? Can they fight the Curse or will the Curse make them victims?

    A) What you have come up with here is more of a synopsis than a prologue to a story. A prologue is inserted at the beginning of the story and usually depicts a scene that does not fit into the entire body of the plot. Yes it usually does set a back ground platform to the entire tale but its a tool normally used to describe a situation, which then helps to build depth in your characters. Using what you have written as an example, your prologue could describe a scene where a couple is dinning casually. Then suddenly one partner flips, grabs a knife and aims for the heart of his/her lover. The knife swings down and the scene ends. From here you can begin chapter 1. You can choose a host of other scenes but i'll let your imagination play around with your own story.

    B) Judging from your synopsis, English may or may not be your first language. I'm guessing its not but my apologies if it is. I'd watch your grammar and sentence structures when you do finally come up with the chapters. Otherwise, the flow will be too disruptive for a good read.

    Sorry for sounding a little strict but here's the good part to all that's been said. Technicalities aside you have an interesting concept going here. Do work on the idea and I'm pretty sure you'll come up with something thrilling.

    ~*Why don't they get tired, Because they're fools, Don't fools get tired, How can fools get tired?*~ www.hypergraphiansmuse.blogspot.com
    AF Family
    "Red" - Younger brother
    "*Ninna* ~ Hatake - Sister-in-law"

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts