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Thread: a short little story

  1. #1
    Senior Member sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123 has a reputation beyond repute sasukelover123's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default a short little story


  2. #2
    ███ ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███ has a reputation beyond repute ███'s Avatar
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    Wait while I vomit.
    ████████████

  3. #3
    Senior Member Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata has a reputation beyond repute Inamorata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blasphemous Feind View Post
    Wait while I vomit.
    LOL yeah that story is kinda lame. =\

  4. #4
    Godsend Conspirator Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus's Avatar
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    Once, I was at the park and say these two guys making out. And until right now, that was the gayest thing I've ever seen. Gratz.


  5. #5
    Senior Member TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk! has a reputation beyond repute TheAsterisk!'s Avatar
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    ...
    Was this supposed to be propoganda?
    ...(sighs heavily)...
    There's a rash of misspellings, a couple of copy-and-pasted pictures, cheesy religious references, and an irrelevant title.
    This is dangerously toxic waste, to be incinerated immediately for the good of humanity.
    ...
    ...Sickening (shudders)...
    Puppy Linux || Get it right. ||


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  6. #6
    Senior Member overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch's Avatar
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    Well I am not one to crush creativity (looks up). But this does need work. Try to focus more on the tale that you are telling, rather than matching words to fit images which do not link togther well.
    Also, this site has a fan fiction section; take a wander through some of the stories posted there and note the comments and improvments other suggest. It takes a lot of practice and effort to get a really good story together - but its rewarding when you finaly finish the last sentance

    sig by shougo amakousa
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    There are no rules. They are just words on a piece of paper.

  7. #7
    ~Lolitaloid~ Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel has a reputation beyond repute Asriel's Avatar
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    Until last year, It was the worng thing for me to do but,I stepped into the girls bathroom at the worng time at school.Two girls(doing stuff I didn't even know was possible) was the nastiyest thing i've seen so far.

    I was planning to keep it that way to.............Thanks for ruining it!
    Set by me.

    I was Hieko.

  8. #8
    Godsend Conspirator Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hieko View Post
    Until last year, It was the worng thing for me to do but,I stepped into the girls bathroom at the worng time at school.Two girls(doing stuff I didn't even know was possible) was the nastiyest thing i've seen so far.

    I was planning to keep it that way to.............Thanks for ruining it!
    So pretty much what I said (Which I got from the Korn episode of South park, thank you), but with girls, right?


    Feel free to pm me with the details to that story though. maybe it will, uh, help you put the past behind you. Yeah, that's it


  9. #9
    Wild Card! SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI has a reputation beyond repute SGI's Avatar
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    Please tell me this is actually tongue in cheek. Fort he love of God please tell me that is so.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka has a reputation beyond repute Baka's Avatar
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    This would probably be better off in your blog.



    Bring me back!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by edward10 View Post
    I'm looking for episodes that have hungry girls with growling stomachs
    I lol'd at this



  11. #11
    Godsend Conspirator Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obi-Raw View Post
    This would probably be better off in your blog.

    Blog being spanish for trash can.


  12. #12
    Senior Member overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch has a reputation beyond repute overwatch's Avatar
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    Thank you Caelus - that's quite enough now - you have voiced your opinion, no need to go further

    sig by shougo amakousa
    Quote Eris:

    There are no rules. They are just words on a piece of paper.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23 has a reputation beyond repute Sanosuke23's Avatar
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    So, what drug? I mean really "SHE TOOK DRUGS OMGNOES" doesn't really suit something like that. Did she overdose due to misinformation or simply immaturity? Had she just blindly taken whatever was given to her without considering what it was? Was the drug on its own relatively safe, but had something dangerous cut into it? There's a lot more you should flesh out for such a pivotal moment in the story.


    Of course, I don't expect you to, but if you really are serious you should probably look this stuff up.
    Visit the Toy Dungeon Studios Store and buy a shirt or zipper pull, damnit!

  14. #14
    Godsend Conspirator Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus has a reputation beyond repute Caelus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by overwatch View Post
    Thank you Caelus - that's quite enough now - you have voiced your opinion, no need to go further
    Oh I'm sorry. Didn't see the word Moderator above your name.


    And I still don't.


  15. #15
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    I do not see the need for one member to bully another member. If you can justify this then please go ahead.

    sig by shougo amakousa
    Quote Eris:

    There are no rules. They are just words on a piece of paper.

  16. #16
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blasphemous Feind View Post
    Wait while I vomit.
    This sums up my thoughts exactly.

    ps: mods please dont put this in fanfiction, this is obviously one of those chain letters given wings in a paint image.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caelus View Post
    Blog being spanish for trash can.

    If I could good rep you for this post I would 1000 times.
    ████████████

  18. #18
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    ...And this little story took how long to come up with? Thirty, maybe fourty seconds? And thats pushing it a bit. If your going to make a story, make it original and actually think on the storyline for a bit. And on a sidenote, what the HELL is up with the "She took drugs and this is what happened to her" and showing a punk/emo chick. Gee, thanks. Apparently we're all druggies now, thank you for following that stereotype. And second of all, did you even do this for the purpose of writing a story? Or was it just so you could make a pretty picture in paint? Sorry, Im usually not mean like this but please think things through before starting a thread.
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