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Thread: Farewell...

  1. #1
    Member DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Farewell...

    Farewell i shall leave with a promise

    The sun is rising like always,
    but to me it's different.
    The winds might feel the same,
    but the breeze is not ordinary to me.
    For I will remember this day forever...

    Everything is different to me today.
    I have done all the need to do's,
    but it feels like I have'nt done something yet.
    I think it's too hard for me to do.
    It shall be a burden for me to carry.

    Then again, I look to the horizon.
    I give out a faint trace of smile.
    This I shall remember.
    The last sight of the horizon with you.
    I wipe down my tears.
    I don't want you to see me cry.

    I wanted to hug you.
    No, it's more than that.
    I also want to kiss you,
    but i fear I must depart with this secret.
    The only thing I have about you.
    The only thing for me to keep.

    I hope you will wait for me...
    I am hoping for a welcome back hug.
    For I will be back someday.


    (hmm.. another of me old poems.. ^^ i dont even know how to rhyme yet... i just started rhyming too...like... only 5 rhyming poems so far.. i think... ^^)
    Last edited by DemonicRay; 09-28-2007 at 07:58 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata has a reputation beyond repute Sonata's Avatar
    Gil
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    Poems don't always have to rhyme to be moving. I think you captured the emotion very well. It's almost haunting. Are the lowercase I's intentional?
    Ish hogtied, mostly, on a grill, oh, baby, covered in chocolate, mostly,
    with a banana in his mouth. Oh, oh, baby, if only Ai were that chick....

    ~AnimeGlobe, Old Skool - Society for the Creative Eating of the Ish~


  3. #3
    Member DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay is a glorious beacon of light DemonicRay's Avatar
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    umm no.. @.@ the i's are typo..sheesh...i'll edit them right away... ty for noticing..


    really? thx

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96's Avatar
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    It's really nice and I agree with Sonata. It's about the messege and the feelings to me, the rhyming only adds a little bit of style to it but it's not a a decisive factor at all.
    Shinjitsu no uta wa konno mune ni nagare.




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