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Thread: The Steel Fist

  1. #1
    Member Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens has a reputation beyond repute Mittens's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default The Steel Fist

    I'm taking a crack at poetry, if that is not fairly obvious. If you don't like semi-rough drafts, I suggest you run and hide. (Nervously inserts head into bucket)

    ----

    The Steel Fist

    The young fellow erupted,
    Head-first from Earl Gray.
    The young fellow corrupted,
    Boiling skin that scared me away.

    The young fellow smiled and shimmered,
    My fingers outstretched, just to touch.
    The young fellow’s eyes were no dimmer
    Than a small spark, or something as much.

    The young fellow slowly chilled,
    And steam arose from his form.
    The young fellow eyes now filled,
    And my heart was suddenly born.

    The young fellow opened his arms,
    Sharing a most honest grin.
    The young fellow’s power of charm
    Convinced me and drew me on in.

    The young fellow’s duty was to confound,
    This was, at least, my impression.
    The young fellow changed, still, and had me spellbound;
    My soul was to be his possession.

    The young fellow made motions to stab me,
    I caved under fingers of steel.
    The young fellow proceeded to grab me,
    Like a fish, now caught on his reel.

    The young fellow keeps me here,
    Caged in my prison, his fist.
    The young fellow cannot hear
    When I shout to protest and resist.

    The young fellow knows I am blessed,
    For I have survived his affection.
    Yet still, here I reside in this nest,
    And shall stay here for my own protection.
    Last edited by Mittens; 08-30-2007 at 10:27 PM.
    The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
    AF Blog. =3

  2. #2
    The Character Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken has a reputation beyond repute Zantetsuken's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    So he hit you and you liked it?


    All I need is hand grenades.

    Why rob a bank? Rob a drug dealer. What are they gonna do? Call the cops?

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  3. #3
    Senior Member ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    beautiful imagery, i love the flow. i think its a great poem, very good work keep it up!

  4. #4
    Jose does not forgive! Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    idk why but i like your poem XD

  5. #5
    -Demon of the Sand- xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx has a reputation beyond repute xXx Gaara xXx's Avatar
    Gil
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    Cool ^_^

    Great job!
    You should to write more.

    Take This!!!

  6. #6
    The-devil-bringeR lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8 has a reputation beyond repute lordrellik8's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    That's a beautiful poem.
    Non mihi, Non tibi, Sed nobis!
    Not for me, Not for you, But for us!

    Xbox Live Gamertag: lordrellik8
    Feel free to add me as a friend.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo has a reputation beyond repute Insurgo's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    I like it, not bad, it's actually pretty good, maybe you should enter it somewhere?

    "I'm done with what you call Emotion. . ."



    "There is no good nor evil. But thinking makes it so."



  8. #8
    Senior Member Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    I like the way your rhymes go.
    Shinjitsu no uta wa konno mune ni nagare.




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