Dream

[-Blackfire-]

Hands on my shoulders,
closing my eyes
All trace of shivers
vanished from mind..

Tears no longer falling
living for now
loneliness gone
I'm with you now..

Cant help but wish
can't help but hope..
maybe someday
this will be true..

[Jose]

as far as poem go this one is okay but could be better but good great keep posting

[Kalt96]

It's very nice how you managed to express a big feeling in relative few words. Very good, keep on going.

[Ari_86]

Love your poem! Keep up the good work.

[Shia_san]

that sounds pretty! (i am not good with words..) anyway, keep posting!

[Zantetsuken]

What's your dream?

[-Blackfire-]

Thanks, all of you for the comments i'll bear them in mind for my next work.

The thing that i tried to express in this poem is how much the persona (me in other words but ehh) wants to feel secure..and her dream is to feel safe.. the other person (referred to as "you" in the poem) isn't particularly important..it could be anyone's hands on her shoulders, but the important thing is the security. (Blehh i think the explanation is longer than the poem itself) Although a person was in mind while writing this poem it's not the person that means a lot to her.. its the idea of that person in her mind...

All this was said just to help understand the whole idea of it..


Thanks for the comments!! Appreciate it xx

[*Lady_Kikyo*]

simple but effective, could use a bit of work for better words,but i like it keep it up!