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Thread: Dream

  1. #1
    Member -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire-'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Wink Dream

    Hands on my shoulders,
    closing my eyes
    All trace of shivers
    vanished from mind..

    Tears no longer falling
    living for now
    loneliness gone
    I'm with you now..

    Cant help but wish
    can't help but hope..
    maybe someday
    this will be true..

  2. #2
    Jose does not forgive! Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose's Avatar
    Gil
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    as far as poem go this one is okay but could be better but good great keep posting

  3. #3
    Senior Member Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96's Avatar
    Gil
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    It's very nice how you managed to express a big feeling in relative few words. Very good, keep on going.
    Shinjitsu no uta wa konno mune ni nagare.




  4. #4
    My love has come. Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86 has a reputation beyond repute Ari_86's Avatar
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    Love your poem! Keep up the good work.


    Funny how? Funny like a clown? Do I amuse you?


  5. #5
    at your service ♥ Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san has a reputation beyond repute Shia_san's Avatar
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    Wink

    that sounds pretty! (i am not good with words..) anyway, keep posting!

    sig by me.......

  6. #6
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    What's your dream?


    All I need is hand grenades.

    Why rob a bank? Rob a drug dealer. What are they gonna do? Call the cops?

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  7. #7
    Member -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire- is a splendid one to behold -Blackfire-'s Avatar
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    Thanks, all of you for the comments i'll bear them in mind for my next work.

    The thing that i tried to express in this poem is how much the persona (me in other words but ehh) wants to feel secure..and her dream is to feel safe.. the other person (referred to as "you" in the poem) isn't particularly important..it could be anyone's hands on her shoulders, but the important thing is the security. (Blehh i think the explanation is longer than the poem itself) Although a person was in mind while writing this poem it's not the person that means a lot to her.. its the idea of that person in her mind...

    All this was said just to help understand the whole idea of it..


    Thanks for the comments!! Appreciate it xx

  8. #8
    Senior Member ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆'s Avatar
    Gil
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    simple but effective, could use a bit of work for better words,but i like it keep it up!

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