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Thread: My newest poem.

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    tuxedo mask shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default My newest poem.

    He walks down the corridor no sights or sounds, his only friend the darkness of the night sky searching on he looks around his eyes ever visual, his ears would be pinned back listning for even the tinyest whisper from that angelic being he called his love, looking listening for taht one sign that on sight or sound to say she was near by, he would keep walking further into teh darkness of the castle watching waiting hoping for her to glimmer through the darkness of the night and lighten up his day today like she as done for the past year he as known her.
    Destined to be alone for ever.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96 has a reputation beyond repute Kalt96's Avatar
    Gil
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    Yes. I like your art very much. If you allow me to give you an advise, don't you think that you could use some structure in your poems? For example, if you check out the other people poems, you'll probably find that the verses are written in short paragraphs to help the reader when reading it. Anyway, the important thing is the message your giving that I like very much by the way. Keep it up and don't stop.
    Shinjitsu no uta wa konno mune ni nagare.




  3. #3
    Toujours Pur BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA has a reputation beyond repute BuLmA's Avatar
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    Nice one shane...I am also a poem maker too!!

  4. #4
    tuxedo mask shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja's Avatar
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    Thank you both, i will read other poems from the site users particularly bUlmagenious's
    Destined to be alone for ever.

  5. #5
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    Eventhough it is not in Stanzas,the thought is really nice.
    I can picture something just reading.
    Keep it up,Shane!!!
    Sets made by Mira Kaiba!!!^^


    An exchange for a little bit of happiness is a life shattering pain. Bend if you must not break.

  6. #6
    tuxedo mask shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja is a splendid one to behold shane the ninja's Avatar
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    Well to be honest they are not in stanza's for a reason, they are bits of songs i am writting for a friends band
    Destined to be alone for ever.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by shane the ninja View Post
    Well to be honest they are not in stanza's for a reason, they are bits of songs i am writting for a friends band
    Songs lyrics are arranged in a stanza type form too. It's called verse.
    Sig by -Ookami-, thank you Ookami!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ichiro Matsuchani View Post
    Songs lyrics are arranged in a stanza type form too. It's called verse.
    Indeed. Songs and poems are essentially the same. For the most part lines and stanzas are based around beat structures, though a song can often handle more complex beat structures or it is more intuitive but its still the same premise. You have the typical Verse Chrous Verse Chorus Bridge Chorus Chorus structure though there are variations of this as you well know
    The tragedy of life comes not from pain, despair, sorrow, or even death; but the constant annihilating amnesia that begs us to forget we live.


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