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Thread: Insanity

  1. #1
    Junior Member Behind Blue Eyes has a spectacular aura about Behind Blue Eyes has a spectacular aura about Behind Blue Eyes's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Insanity

    Insanity

    Silver moonlight flooded across the floor.
    I stare at the bars wishing for more.

    Is there not a place I can go? Questions pooling in my mind.

    Where am I a place so dark and cold?
    Ringing in my ears screams I haven’t screamed, or have I?

    Coldness creeps, crawling across slate; it feels as though it’s reached my skin.
    I watch, blinded by the dark, or are my eyes closed?

    I here the moans, they surround me, cling to my very flesh I feel their claws, digging deeper… into my soul.

    They tug at my heart. Slowly pulling the pain, my sanity, away…
    Numb, ahh, I feel it now. Death? Or insanity?

    I stay still, no longer can I feel the shackles incasing my every limb. No more…
    My souls clothing, a stained cloth. Ripped, barriers crashing down.

    Portrayed innocents, erased, forgotten. Was it even there?
    Pain, bleeding from my mind. Do I have blood? Claws crushing my soul,

    Or is that the weight of my every thought falling my mind unstable…
    I feel it, nothing, so cold, so blank. Death… can I die?
    Insanity…

    By. Behind Blue Eyes

  2. #2
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Hay guys. It's the mod. I just wanted to remind you that spam is not acceptable. This is not a forum for raising your post count and spamming "goodpoem!!!" or "thanks" replies. Please keep them up to a sentance at MINIMIUM. This is a forum for ARTWORK, so to speak. You are all literate poets! I'm sure you can shovel out a sentance describing why you enjoyed something.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  3. #3
    Theomorphic Abomination Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dorian Grey View Post
    Hay guys. It's the mod. I just wanted to remind you that spam is not acceptable. This is not a forum for raising your post count and spamming "goodpoem!!!" or "thanks" replies. Please keep them up to a sentance at MINIMIUM. This is a forum for ARTWORK, so to speak. You are all literate poets! I'm sure you can shovel out a sentance describing why you enjoyed something.
    Very well.

    Positive
    The description of this poem was fantastic. "The silver moon light flooded across the floor" gave it a sense of serenity when a touch of darkness was about to come into the poem. The introduction hooked me in. After reading "staring at the bars wishing for more" such ponderous thoughts came into my head that I had to keep reading. Although I admire a poem with a strong vocabulary the frankness of this poem was executed in such a manner to where I found it quite enjoyable. Things such as "I hear the moans, they surround me, cling to my very flesh..." was good in the fact that it made it exhilarating. The entire poem kept me wanting to read more.

    Negative
    I felt some things in the poem did not really match the over all feeling such as "Pain, bleeding from my mind. Do I have blood? Claws crushing my soul," I did not like this line as I felt it was being redundant in the fact you had already had a line similar to this. Some of the description just really didn't fit. Grammatically, I do not see any significant mistakes beside perhaps your form. It was easy to read, for me at least.

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