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Thread: Searching for you

  1. #1
    The lonely wolf Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Searching for you

    Searching for you

    Having no place to return to
    Nothing to do
    Crying was what I want so bad
    Also being dead

    A dark corner is just like me
    It's so dark you won't notice nor see
    In this prison of darkness
    In this heart of sadness

    Wheres my savior
    My heroine
    Will she come for sure ?
    When I thought I had seen

    I just where day dreaming or spacing out
    And no matter if I scream loud no one comes
    Searching in this forsaken town
    Where everyone is a king and wears a crown

    Searching for someone to talk to
    That's all I do
    And at night I return to my prison of darkness
    To wait for a shoulder to cry on and to let it go my sadness it is

  2. #2
    Serenith's pet Crocodile Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani's Avatar
    Gil
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    I can't tell you how sick I am of poems like this. So shallow...

    Why not delve into something a bit more complicated, or dare say it, interesting? Especially since all of your poems have been about the same thing (Or something close to it.).
    Sig by -Ookami-, thank you Ookami!

    Elder Scrolls Oblivion: A Tale Retold

    http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=94454

  3. #3
    Senior Member seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ichiro Matsuchani View Post
    I can't tell you how sick I am of poems like this. So shallow...

    Why not delve into something a bit more complicated, or dare say it, interesting? Especially since all of your poems have been about the same thing (Or something close to it.).
    Well, the guy's sad, how can someone write something he doesn't feel? The good thing is he's writing, giving room to improvement and gaining style, the bad thing? His sadness is the only thing he could write at the moment.
    Thine soul is mine for the keeping
    As a thousand rivers now dividing
    Provides me with that much needed killing!

    Sig by: Jagan Eye

    Weep as much as you want, and feel the hands of despair groping for your soul, for nothing can ease the pain of losing your beloved, like the gentle thrust of my sword.

  4. #4
    Serenith's pet Crocodile Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seraphic_demon View Post
    Well, the guy's sad, how can someone write something he doesn't feel? The good thing is he's writing, giving room to improvement and gaining style, the bad thing? His sadness is the only thing he could write at the moment.
    Poetry isn't always about emotion. Seems that you need to broaden the horizon.
    Sig by -Ookami-, thank you Ookami!

    Elder Scrolls Oblivion: A Tale Retold

    http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=94454

  5. #5
    The lonely wolf Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seraphic_demon View Post
    Well, the guy's sad, how can someone write something he doesn't feel? The good thing is he's writing, giving room to improvement and gaining style, the bad thing? His sadness is the only thing he could write at the moment.

    Well this guy's right I feel the same as him I write with emotion or I don't. I made love poems before when I was love. If I wanna make other I need to get that emotion first. That's how I look to poetry. But everyone has another opinion. Still I keep sticking to that one. I can try to make something else but I think it will suck. Or I even can't make up something. Thanks for the comments btw.

  6. #6
    Senior Member ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆ has a reputation beyond repute ☆LadyKikyou☆'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ichiro Matsuchani View Post
    Poetry isn't always about emotion. Seems that you need to broaden the horizon.

    you also forget not everyone studies poetry to the extent to where they can write in different forms and what not..some ppl just feel something and they write it out..i think this is a great poem..i think you just expect too much from eveyone. ppl should be allowed to write out what they want and how they want as long as they feel theyre getting a point accross or their emotions out.

  7. #7
    Theomorphic Abomination Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel has a reputation beyond repute Azel's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ichiro Matsuchani View Post
    I can't tell you how sick I am of poems like this. So shallow...

    Why not delve into something a bit more complicated, or dare say it, interesting? Especially since all of your poems have been about the same thing (Or something close to it.).
    I agree. It's always "searching for that someone" or "found that someone who finally completes me" or "lost in my apathetic despair" or "I am going to find the most inconsequential thing to get extremely sad over". When it comes to the emotions in most poems posted on AF it is either a high low, or a high high. Why not post about something deeper? Something darker? I mean if you are going to be sad you mine as well be sad for good reason. Think of all the unjust happenings in this world? All the sick, sadistic and unnessecary things that carry on everyday. You know pain? There are rape and abuse victims that carry very happy lives. You could write something thats a little more meaningful instead of being apathetic about the littlest things or, heres a suprise, change your perspective on life for once. Life may be cruel, but life is a ugly yet beautiful thing, make a poem about finding the most romantic beauty in the oddest places. Write a poem about waking up too see that you have been living an intricate lie. I don't care if it's true, because I don't want to read your biography, I don't care if your poem is from the deepest fabrications of your mind, I just want something good, something deep, something introspective. Something that after I read I can reflect on and say, hey, that was worth reading, or hey, that was pretty interesting, I never looked at it that way, or if you can pull this off, hey I know where that guy/girl is coming from. If you want some words for development here are the words I give you. This is my brutal honesty.
    Last edited by Azel; 07-24-2007 at 05:03 PM.

  8. #8
    Millicent Blanche dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician's Avatar
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    Nice poem,Train. Love it,...i never do get tired of reading those ones that you made.
    Keep it up,i'll be cheering up for you!!!
    Sets made by Mira Kaiba!!!^^


    An exchange for a little bit of happiness is a life shattering pain. Bend if you must not break.

  9. #9
    And so is Tomarrow TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine has a reputation beyond repute TodayIsMine's Avatar
    Gil
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    Ok...I'm sorry. I'm normally not this critical of poetry, and I know you've got crap in your life that this is possibly related to. But...I couldn't even finish the poem. Too many kids your age are writing the same stuff over and over again. It's all about "I want to die. I miss my soul. I live in hell. I feel so lost without my heart." It's too overdone...


    So fill me up to the brim...

  10. #10
    Broken Spirit and poet BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul has a reputation beyond repute BlazingSoul's Avatar
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    Awesome. It's nicely written. Good job
    "As the blood starts to boil, the flow of crimson splendor will act like a flood" ~R

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