Waterfall Mirror

[Yugure's Goddess]

Okay, for anyone who recognizes the title: yes, I posted this poem a long time ago. However it was unfinished and, having no inspriation for some time, eventually I forgot to finish it and only recently remembered. I would like to know how the finished product comes across. I'm moderatly satisfied with it though I feel it's lacking a bit of something I can't quite figure out.

But read it and give me your honest opinion, if you would be so kind, and yes.... I will shamefully admit that it's kind of emo. Just as a fore-warning.

Waterfall Mirror

I stand in its wake
My dressings
soaked to the skin,
wading in and out of consciousness

I watch, barely aware
Distracted by my reflection
something is there
Something I don't like

As the mist
Condenses and Crashes
All I can do
Is stare, dumbfounded
into nothing but water

A liquidic reflection
that reveals and taunts
in a single breath
while I struggle to catch mine

The other side
there must be something
on the other side
something solid and non-reflective

I must find it
I search
earnestly and constantly
though it eludes me

I stand before the fall
and look for my vanished reflection
I fall before the mirror
and look at where I stand

Stones cover its surface
and yet only disturbs it
disturbed but it does not break
Unbreakable and yet still I struggle for control

I dance my number
and release my pent-up hopes
I am here looking but not finding
spoken but not speaking
falling through the emptiness

I'm vanished in the mirror...
I'm sinking to the ground...
I'm breathing only water...

And my reflection taunts me still...

~*~*~*~*~

Thank you for reading!

love
dani
dude

[Devi]

I like it, keep up the good work!

[Ari_86]

its really good, keep up the good work!

[*Lady_Kikyo*]

i really liked ur poem..but i kinda got fusrtated with all the " I this.." and "I that.."..ya kno?..but all in all its really good work.

[Yugure's Goddess]

I guess I understand if the "I"s annoyed you... Anyway, thank you all for reviewing it and I do plan to write more, especially since I'm starting to get into a poetry funk again.

love
dani
dude