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Thread: A mask

  1. #1
    The lonely wolf Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star has a reputation beyond repute Howling Star's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default A mask

    A mask

    The real me
    Has lost in quality
    So I thought I improve the quantity
    And so I lost the real me

    And now I disappeared in vain
    Sometimes I appear in the rain
    Sometimes I find my way back
    But it's the power that I lack

    I am trapped in a mask
    I can't fulfill my task
    I can't escape from this fate
    It's already to late

    The real me can't be shown
    That's why he always feels alone
    There's nothing that can be changed
    Nothing that can be arranged

    I need power
    I need to grow strong like a flower
    But I need water and light from the sun
    But mostly I am on the run

    Oh person who provides the sun
    You should go on the run
    And go straight for me
    To set me free

  2. #2
    Jose does not forgive! Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose has a reputation beyond repute Jose's Avatar
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    Default

    really good

  3. #3
    Senior Member seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon's Avatar
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    Default

    ^^

    well...I'm back, haha, Good job, keep it up.

    Like it or not almost everybody wears a mask to hide themselves. I've written someting like this before though I forgot where I placed it. Keep it up. ^^
    Thine soul is mine for the keeping
    As a thousand rivers now dividing
    Provides me with that much needed killing!

    Sig by: Jagan Eye

    Weep as much as you want, and feel the hands of despair groping for your soul, for nothing can ease the pain of losing your beloved, like the gentle thrust of my sword.

  4. #4
    Millicent Blanche dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician has a reputation beyond repute dream magician's Avatar
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    Default

    the message's clear,all lines rhyme....
    eventhough it's sad,i like it,you have the power to show your feelings by making poems,tht's a special ability.
    Keep it up!
    and...remember,life isn't always dissapointing,just live with it until happiness touches you and warms your heart.
    Sets made by Mira Kaiba!!!^^


    An exchange for a little bit of happiness is a life shattering pain. Bend if you must not break.

  5. #5
    Patapon Warrior zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet has a reputation beyond repute zyronet's Avatar
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    Default

    It's already to late
    uhmm.. is it the real single o or the double o?
    Ehehe.. Good! Good!
    I have a mask!!

  6. #6
    hold me accountable Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro has a reputation beyond repute Exquiro's Avatar
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    Default

    Hm... I like it, but it sounds a little like some of the lines are there simply because they rhymed and a few break up the rhythm and sound kinda like they don't fit...... Still, it's good, I really like the first four lines and the idea of the mask.
    "Done because we are too meny."

  7. #7
    Senior Member seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon has much to be proud of seraphic_demon's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by zyronet View Post
    uhmm.. is it the real single o or the double o?
    Ehehe.. Good! Good!
    I have a mask!!
    I think THN means to use the double O word. ^^
    Thine soul is mine for the keeping
    As a thousand rivers now dividing
    Provides me with that much needed killing!

    Sig by: Jagan Eye

    Weep as much as you want, and feel the hands of despair groping for your soul, for nothing can ease the pain of losing your beloved, like the gentle thrust of my sword.

  8. #8
    Serenith's pet Crocodile Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani has a reputation beyond repute Ichiro Matsuchani's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Concept was a good idea, yet there was left much to be desired. Hell, this concept almost inspires me a little.

    Through my lies and deception, I throw away this veil,
    Yet beneath lies another, an impenetrable seal,
    How I desire to break free of this unyielding guise,
    However, I shall remain cemented to the one I despise.

    Well, that's enough of me trailing off, I think. My thoughts are that you just kinda left much out of the poem that would have only made it better. Reccomendation: As I've undoubtedly have told you, take more time when writing these poems. Brainstorm a little more into what you are thinking at the time. Only master poets can truly put their thoughts into words on the first try, and you're not quite there yet.


    Sig by -Ookami-, thank you Ookami!

    Elder Scrolls Oblivion: A Tale Retold

    http://www.animeforum.com/showthread.php?t=94454

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