I've been lost for too long.
Where do I belong?
Although i'm stuck inside...
I've felt lost in the world outside
For the longest time.
I haven't opened the door
and stepped into the adoring light.
I haven't felt the fresh air in my lungs.
I haven't dealt with all the tugging at the door lock.
You only let me have memories of a locked world.
Can I go out and run about?
I ask. Without a bit of doubt.
No. You shout.
They'll take you away.
So I stare out the window...with lots of thoughts.
I wonder what it's like to step onto the warm grass.
I wonder what it's like...to look from the other side of the glass.
I wonder what it's like to feel the rain in your hair.
Why is it...that I have to stare at the glass in despair?
Why is it...that you make me feel so alone?
How come you cannot be overthrown?
As I wonder and wish for a breath of fresh air
I stare and dream unaware
That you're behind me...glaring and staring at me.
When I awaken cold and pale
You come to me and unfold your hand
The window soon opens
and a whirlwind of sand
That is the sand.
You unfold your hand as the sand drifts away.
And this is your heart. You say.
But I do not see a heart.
I see a tree branch torn apart.
Soon it's remains are taken as a part of the sand.
Now my heart is now fragmented. I say as the sand brushes my hand.
You turn around and walk away
What is it you tried to tell me today?
That maybe there is another way?
Could I finally stare into a cloudy gray sky?
Then maybe soon I could feel the wind come by.
Maybe soon I can feel the sun's warm embrace.
Maybe soon a ray of sun can tan this face.
Could you have possibly told me I was free?
As I reach for the door knob with a trembling hand.
I remember how my heart became the sand.
Soon I get the strength to open the door to the world.
Once I stepped outside the wind curled and whirled around me.
I soon noticed my sadness and lonliness had left me be.
As I walked farther and farther away from my prison.
I felt that my final worries had arisen.
I soon had wandered away without another thought.
No longer did I have to wonder what it felt like to have fought off the sorrow.
Never again did I have to wonder what would happen tomorrow.
My days of being in the shadows are over.
Today I felt the air and picked a clover for the first time.
Tomorrow I might find my first flower of the Spring.
Maybe I'll even get to swing on a tree branch.
Because now Im not a girl with endless pain... Im a girl with endless hope.