So much pain and loss,
mist of confusion clouds my brain
Agony lances through my heart as tears stream down my face.
why has it come to this?
Why is it so hard to trust, you or myself?
I do not understand . . .
I wipe angrily at my face, too many tears
I'm so sick of crying
So sick of bashing my head upon stone, and woundering why it doesn't break.
Will you ever understand me?

I sigh
acceptance of my fate flows through me like the radiation filled wind that blows over dead corpses and dying children which flakes away the charred skin.
A calm settles upon my soul just as the dead silence which floods the earth seconds before the atom bomb explodes.
my spirit quakes with fear unexpressed.
ALL the thoughts and struggles that had consumed my mind seep away,
I can not think clearly.
wearyness creeps into my muscles and joints.
Perhaps, in the end, the only thing that matters
is nothing.