how to deel with a bully?

[sakuri435]

does n e one else get made fun of at school for being differnet or "not cool" i do all the time because of how i dress or the things i like like anime.... i know i could just dress like them and not talk about the things i love so much but that would hurt me inside . so i call them baka and walk away but it hurts neway. what do u say to a bully or someone who treats you bad? i am afraid i will never have a boy who likes me not many people around my school likes anime and the things i like.

[International 4-8818]

Well when someone calls me a name i just don't really care at all. Words don't get to me because they are just simple things I can avoid. When it comes to family and personal stuff i will yell and name call. If it goes beyond family like real bad stuff i will fight them. Just the way i handle things in my neck of the woods.

Now please don't make a come back by saying you baka. You are only digging a further grave. Come up with something clever.

[Buruku]

well at first when I read this I thought maybe you were 14 or something, but it looks like you're 18 so my I'm going to change my advice.

You're a big girl now, and you shouldn't let this type of thing bother you. At the end of the day 'not being cool with the other kids' isn't something worth worrying about.

Teasing someone about crap like 'clothes and anime' is really a pretty boring thing to tease about, they'll get sick of it quick and move on unless they get a big reaction from you.

But if you're honestly 18 then you need to learn to let this stuff go, or if your still a little immature go ahead and flip them off, or insult them right back.

[Mei Aiko]

I totally agree with the first two post.

Sakuri, you're just going to ignore them. Yes, I know it's easier said than done, but seriously. Ignore those little...as in the words of my younger cousin, 'Dooky heads.'



And...yeah, what International said. I wouldn't call them baka if I were you...

[International 4-8818]

Wait what? 18? Oh my. You are a big girl and you should not ask us for advice. It should be pretty clear how to manage yourself in the world.

Dear go. You 18. PLease don't let YOU BAKA be your only form of defence. You will only be teased more for a dumb comeback like that. YOu can manage yourself. Be a big girl.

[-Batman-]

You know, it's also possible that she's not really 18. Plenty of people lie about age when registering.

My advice.
Walk past everyone, however...Show absoultly no emotion what-so-ever, at least none that are negative. If they see they aren't getting through to you...They'll leave you be.

[sakuri435]

well really i am 14 not 18. O_o if i wer 18 i hope i was not still being teased! but i don't know. i try not to let it hurt me but it hurts so much! to know that people hate me! does neone have this too?

[Skyla_G]

I'm actually kinda glad you've posted about this. Not many people would talk about their problems online... but we have all been part of this whole teasing scenario... whether we're the ones doing, being picked on, ignoring it, helping with it... or just knowing that it exists somewhere in the world. I was both the one being picked on and eventually I teased others... I thought it was a lifestyle... it happened just around the same time it's happening to you[I am 18]... I know it's hard to approach certain people... like to make friends who appreciate your differences or to find soemone who shares the same interests... the problem with me was that I was a blank canvas... or at least it appeared that way to myself. The friends that I did have back then weren't reliable or mature... but I thought that's what friends were...

I'm not a phycologist or anything of the sort... but I admit... it hurts remaining in that unseen solitude... but at least you can see around it... that is your first step to escaping it. I truely hope you don't give up on anime because it's what dug me out of that darkened grave.... it's what I'm striving to bring into this world so that I may share these messages with other people who might be in a struggling bind.... manga is the medium I want to use to portray the difficulties and pleasures of life. And I sincerely beg of you not to give up or lose hope... this is a big thing to ask... especially when I can't present you with all of the answers, but I will remain here and be your friend[even if it's just online] which is better than nothing and would bring me joy... [this is really starting to sound sappy] but in any case I'll keep checking in.
~Skyla xoxoxo

[_CTA_]

if i were you, ill fight back. shouting stupid at them wont work. beileve me. fight them. argue with them. ANYTHING!!! i guarantee you will be satisfied. and be more active. show them that youre not one of them and different and act like as if ur #1 even though ur not.

14 eh? ur as old as me. u can be my friend if u want anyways, just act tough and cool even though ur not cool at all (i used to be like that now everyone acknowledged me)

Good luck!! XD /no1


PS: pm me if u need any help (or us, with ppl above me)

[Erikai]

You don't say anything. You take the biggest text book you can find and hit them on the noise over and over and over untill they shut up!

[_CTA_]

wow wow wow!!! erikai, calm it!! that will make her being ditched!! no one will be her friend is she do that!!! its horrible!!

[Souhi]

Well yes...physical violence is an answer. Though that could get complicated.

What works for me is either ignoring and being completely oblivious to the "bully". If they don't back off, smiling and saying something clever is always fun. Bullies in my experience are rarely the intelligent type. Their comeback are about as deep as "Well...shut up you little *insert crude name here*"

[Hyperaesthesia]

They want a response, so don't give them it.

Contrary to popular belief, bullies tend not to have low self-esteem and pick on people because it makes them feel better. Real, controlled studies (Baumeister is especially good for this) suggest they usually have a rather inflated view of themselves, so you're probably not going to bother them if you call them an idiot- they'll just be glad they got a reaction so they can drag it out some more. If possible, you should just try to shrug it off. Make it clear you really don't care enough to have an opinion about what's 'cool' in school, and they'll probably get bored and move on to someone else.

And don't take it personally! Most bullies probably don't even think about you that much. Often, people like that are the sort who just look for anyone and anything they can pick on. If it wasn't anime or clothes, it would be anything else they can get a reaction for.

[Sagat]

Okay Sakuri I'm going to give you some no BS tried tested and true advice.

Everyone that is saying "oh don't react" or "blow them off" or "ignore them" are pansyfooting around the issue (I toned that word down cause of this site). It's a cowards way out and contrary to all the BS psychobabble out there is not going to solve your problem.

I was bullied from Grade 6 to 8, I did all that crap too, pretended to ignore (cause you can't fully), pretended not to hear, didn't give a reaction, blah blah blabbity blah blah it didn't work, okay? When I fought back - and fought back hard - suddenly I was left alone. No more insults, no more anything. When I fought back against them (and there were a lot of "them") within a week I was no longer a target (this may be because one student had a broken jawbone, I don't know, I'm not a doctor) but the point had gotten across - "mess with me and you will end up like him."

Bullies suffer from a lack of something within so to prove their own worth and power to themselves they subjugate someone else weaker than them. Ego-gratification at its best. If that "inferior" person stands up to them though and makes their life tough, they're going to back off and search for someone even weaker. That's their nature.

What do you do? Stand up to them. Become an animal backed into a corner and the only way out is through them. For everything they do to you, do back twice as hard. Make their lives miserable. Subjugate them - show them their mistake in assuming you were the weaker. Also in essence, you are defending and fighting for your right to be your own person and not what they want you to be.

Or you can listen to the rest of the daffodil kissers here and do nothing and let your whole being and identity be trampled upon.

[Zedekiah]

As Gouki said + a fair dose of willpower and Krav Maga.

You ought to be out of their radar by then <3

[-akichan-]

I will not say anything if the bully starts with me, i'd just run up to him and punch him on the face no matter how big he is! But if he doesnt mess with me, i wouldn't care. But i'll still get him if he messes with MY peoples!

[~Oukoku Inmetsu]

Yeah.. A usual day for me is being shoved in the hallways, tripped, shunned, and laughed at all at the same time.. Normally i get the whole, "Emo fag" treatment and to be honest it bothers me just a little bit but not enough where i take it to heart. I really do hate to come to school and i'm quite grateful that this is my last year in school.. I've been picked on a good dose of all my life so it's not like some kid pointing and laughing is anything new. Though, what i've learned over the years is that you can't take what they say to heart because if you do, you're putting yourself into something that is absolutely rancid. The pain of it all is that it's taken me this long just too finally be able to say, "Meh, i don't care." So, what i reccomend is going and talking to someone about this. i suggest a school official, just ask them to look after you when going in between class and have the teacher catch them in place of you personally turning them in. Believe me, it'll come to a somewhat halt on their abuse.

[lucky leprachaun]

me, well i either insult them with a really good comeback, make myself look stupid so they won't have the chance or the satisfaction of doing it, or i just insult their mothers.

[Daenerys]

Beat them up. That's what I did. I got expelled for it though


Really, if it's happening at school, just tell a teacher someone's teasing you.

[_CTA_]

agree with jack and gouki. but maybe ull end up being alone cuz ppl will be scared from u. and dont u DARE ignore them!! cuz theyre gonna do it again and again.

[RandomActs]

I would give him a swift kick to the groined then run like heck

[Naruto_666]

i will never have a boy who likes me not many people around my school likes anime and the things i like.

awww.... dont think that!!!if it wetre me i'll cuss them bad and if that dont work threats will.well it does 4 me!w8 if i did get bullied im sure it would!actually RandomActs has a good idea there...

[ITACHI_699707]

i beat bullys up only in my class if they try to bully me

[Howling Star]

I know wat you mean im a boy But im 14 . I have 2 friends. They dont infere with my afairs. But i get a lot of stuff againts me. Some kiddos its like 5 weak brats. Iritate me. I wanna beat them down so bad. But i think i dont can to. See i had this a long time. They iritate me and the desire to hit down some teeth. Is burning but wy should i. I only get expelled or stuff. I just wil have more trouble. Take youre revenge on the last day of scool. Just bear with it. Like i do words dont mather. Or try to get them out theyre shell and let them atack you. Then you defense by punching back. And wil have the right to hit back. I think i go do that to. Or i punch them hard tomorow if they iritate me to much. Hehehee just do wat you feel like. I think im going to beat them up when i get my chance. I give you this advice bear with it wait and grab youre chance.

[Elena]

I suggest you talk to someone about it (e.g. a teacher, your parents) Standing up to bullies is all well and good until you get beaten up. Good Luck