The Bloodshed Rose

[Aleyna]

hey you guys i am back to writing poetry again
sorry for the long wait
i wrote this poem to show women that they should be mad at the men for cheating on them instead of the women they cheated on with
lol when i was writing this poem i was thinking of a twist off of romeo and juliet lol i hope you guys like it


The Bloodshed Rose
here needily greedy your are,
a hundreth time again,
praising down upon me,
below from the vast dephs,
of the protective balcony above,
your unworthy loyalty,
decievingly bent down,
on 1 impatient knee,
other torn out heart pieces,
of high hopes dreaming women,
wickedly snatched away by,
your life draining nightmares,
now evily carnaged into,
the bloodshed rose,
suffocated in with lying truths,
of your unwise dry scaley hands,
though the stinging stem,
is not harshly wrapped,
upon your ashy palms,
i can feel violent vibrations,
the horrific cries,
of the sorrowing souls,
you tyranically demolished,
depressingly echoing above,
your delt loving funeral speech,
im painfully feeling,
the sharp prickles,
of the bloodshed rose,
highly intuning me,
to keep my brave heart,
forever away from,
your heartless demonic soul,
before my soaring destiny,
of my sweet livlyhood dreams,
comes hopelessly crashing down,
sadly shattering from,
your dead ending nightmares,
drifting forever away,
at the gloomy dawn's fogs~

[J0rdan]

i felt the meaning of the poem's content really powerful when i read it

[Sailor Lunar Eclipse]

"your dead ending nightmares,
drifting forever away,
at the gloomy dawn's fogs~"

That's kinda depressing, but I could feel the emotion in it.

You have a really good talent, and I can't wait to do the book with you this year! *hugs*

But one little bit of advice, space it out a bit more so it doesn't seem too clomped together, it was a little hard to read.

But I still loved it, good job alyana!

[BlazingSoul]

It has A nice flow and its very nice. It's kinda filled with depression and hatred but never the less it's a good job.

[Atara Inferno]

Omg! The poem's superb! Really emotional, depressing and others but brilliant!

[Aleyna]

thanx for the support u guys

plan on writing 1 tomorrow also

i didn't think this poem was that great, not 1 of my best
but thanks for all the replies it has made me happy

[Daimastuny]

It was very well done mastah, but like cupcake said you need to space them out a bit. I don't have any problems, with the spacing, but some people have a hard time reading it sometimes. Great choice of words! -snuggs- They're strong and detailed, <3 it, keep on writing mastah, now I must go and read your other poem -runs to next poem-

much love, ~dai

[~Mithrosent~]

i like it! lots of feeling. and there are different emotions linked together. nice!

[Breibhinn]

That is an incredible poem. I would really like to see more from you ^^