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Thread: I Sin To See You

  1. #1
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default I Sin To See You

    I sin to see you.
    The heart beats so rapidly.
    I latch to your love.
    The thoughts race so quikly.
    I trip for your touch.
    The body falls so wrecklessly.
    I scream for your smile.
    The voice echoes so loudly.
    I follow your footsteps.
    The trail goes on so endlessly.
    I look for your laughter.
    The sound fills the air so sweetly.
    I miss our balmy moments.
    The calm breeze surrounds us blissfully.
    The heart beats so rapidly when,
    I sin to see you.

    -------
    Wrote this poem for my loved one. I need some ratings, opinions, and advice. And if you could... tell me if my boyfriend was just being nice by saying that he liked it. He said it was deep too. It is. I put my heart into it. I consider it a bit corny too. Please and thankies. =]

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
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    Seung-Li <3

  2. #2
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    Every other line has the same sounding word at the end, I think it's kind of redundant, I think it would be better with more sounds.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  3. #3
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
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    I guess you could say that... but that's the way it's suppose to be. =[
    It's not a thyming poem so I had to make it fit someway... but I'll try again with that. Thanks for you're advice. =]

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
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    Seung-Li <3

  4. #4
    Idolizing J.Skellington. hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht has a brilliant future hameht's Avatar
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    Default

    It's alright, like he said, redundant, but alright. It has a nice bounce to it.








  5. #5
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    Uh yeah it does rhyme. Therefore it's a rhyming poem.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  6. #6
    The Curious Wanderer Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru has a reputation beyond repute Kitanoru's Avatar
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    It's a very insightful poem, well done! I really enjoyed reading that!awesome! Keep up the good work!

    [An amazing set by KP4]



    Ooo a Fan Button! =P

  7. #7
    Junior Member snakevenom619 will become famous soon enough snakevenom619 will become famous soon enough snakevenom619's Avatar
    Gil
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    i like this poam it has a feeling to it when i read it. i hope u rite more.
    [ I'm cusred to feel peoples pain]

  8. #8
    「SP」 Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix is infamous around these parts Shadow Phoenix's Avatar
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    This poem is cool it really make's someone get on there soft side o_o;


    "Beat it punk!" -Vegeta

  9. #9
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brody Farrell
    Uh yeah it does rhyme. Therefore it's a rhyming poem.
    But how does it rhyme? It has similar sounds but I never made it rhyme.

    And thanks guys, I appretiate your compliments!

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
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    Seung-Li <3

  10. #10
    Your Worst Nightmare. Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi's Avatar
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    o_O I don't want to put you down sis... but I think its.... weird. oo;;;'' not good, not bad.. just.. weird. o_O;;;; better luck next time. <3
    Call me Meli <3~







    Merry Christmas!

  11. #11
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xXx Saisashi . Arashi xXx
    o_O I don't want to put you down sis... but I think its.... weird. oo;;;'' not good, not bad.. just.. weird. o_O;;;; better luck next time. <3
    Yus sister... but I am weird. Anyways, your comment is still valid to me. The freedom of words to use in poem creation drives me to make these kinds. >>; Blame them not me.

    Thanks again to all you commenters! Reps for you =]

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
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  12. #12
    Morale: [||||||||||||||||] LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo's Avatar
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    Me likey this poem ^ ^ It has meaning yet it does rhyme anyway. ^ ^ keep it up Rukia-Kun!
    Careful, I don't take you lightly.
    Sig set made by Daken
    _________________________________________________
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  13. #13
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
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    Lucky you thread necro, you. This died a long while ago...but thanks for saying that you liked it. I wrote it for my boyfriend but he's now my ex I believe... *shakes head* Nine whole months just wasted.

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
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  14. #14
    Morale: [||||||||||||||||] LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rukia Kun
    Lucky you thread necro, you. This died a long while ago...but thanks for saying that you liked it. I wrote it for my boyfriend but he's now my ex I believe... *shakes head* Nine whole months just wasted.
    I didn't know >.< Me sowies, thought it was that one. Instead it should be your fan-fic.
    Careful, I don't take you lightly.
    Sig set made by Daken
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  15. #15
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    rapidly.
    quikly.
    wrecklessly.
    loudly.
    endlessly.
    sweetly.
    blissfully.

    All those words rhyme, and were at the end of every other line, therefore, making the poem rhyme.

    You should really look up words before you use them incorrectly.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  16. #16
    Kaoru loves you ♥ iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud has a reputation beyond repute iMud's Avatar
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    I liked this poem a lot. It is really very sweet and has feeling. (^.^)
    ----------
    [Daughty|Fafnir|Faffy|iMud|iSi|Koko|KoKoBear|Kokolo ve|Kokolay|Kokonaut|Kokosterious|Money|Monmon|Musi c Buddeh]
    ----------
    ----------
    Credit goes to Mac for(indirectly) encouraging me to do graphic designing again. You're the best. <3
    ----------

  17. #17
    Gothic Lolita Skyla-chan Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G's Avatar
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    Dorian Grey said "You should really look up words before you use them incorrectly." I don't understand this. Please explain.

    I know I'm late on posting but I... wanted to? hehehe.

    The imagery that started to form in my mind as I reached the bottom was the spiral of seasons. o.o' not sure if thats what it's supposed to portray... but hey... it's art... c'est la vie.

    I can't get over how skilled you are at conjuring a canvas into my mind and then painting a picture that isn't a blur. With every line is a new message... separate messages but still on the same canvas. Each symbolic meaning gave me shivers ^-^ My favorite thing about the poem is how you reversed the top and bottom, thus surprising the reader which is one of the components to giving inspiration.[to me] It makes me think "I wonder if I could ever do that to my readers?"

    Splendid poem darling, can't wait to see more! *searches the posts*
    ~Skyla-chan
    *Ami~chan-sempai made this sig*

    *Ookami-sempai made this sig*

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