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Thread: Going Unseen

  1. #1
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Going Unseen

    If I cry in the sun,
    You will know.

    If I cry in the rain,
    It wont show.

    I hope for your glance...

    If I smile in the light,
    You'll be able to tell.

    If I smile in the dark,
    You wont see it that well.

    I hope for your touch...

    If I knocked at your door,
    I wouldn't expect an answer.

    If I tapped on your shoulder,
    You'd keep walking as you were.

    I'd hoped you'd notice me...

    ------

    That's my poem. =] Hope you like it. The last few stanzas were difficult to come up with so they'd fit along with the poem. Still, I worked hard. Don't make fun! =\ Constructive critizism... (sp?) ><
    Rukia Kun~

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
    Set By
    Seung-Li <3

  2. #2
    Llama Cheeze Puff Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta has a reputation beyond repute Vendetta's Avatar
    Gil
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    Ah crying in the rain; So often a hint of a sad poem. I noticed you had the first staza that this person would see, and the second that they wouldn't. Now, in the end you made to in a row that they wouldn't see and it slightly throws off the pattern. Other than that it was a good poem.
    Set made by me
    98% or teens do or have tried pot :: If you're one of the 2% that hasn't post this in your signature::

  3. #3
    cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes has much to be proud of cherryblosmes's Avatar
    Gil
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    that was good got thrown a bet at the end but over all it was good . great job. keeop posting lol ^^
    *lost in the world of broken and dead hearts,
    traped in the mist of ones who lied,
    confused by how foolish i am ,
    wanting to disappear in my world alone with ones who care for me,
    is that forbidden to ask that-tell me someone*





    sig by Nespa thank u so much ur awsome !!! lol ^.^
    the famous Crimson Soul the best stalker ever

  4. #4
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
    Gil
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    It's simply stating that they SHOULD know that I'm doing it. It's like "why aren't you?" And thank you, I appretiate your positive comment =]

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
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    Seung-Li <3

  5. #5
    Senior Member Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna has a reputation beyond repute Aleyna's Avatar
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    what a creative poem! i like your writing style, you showed both sides to this situation, and that spoke to alot of people!

    From SkullMuffins on deviantart

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  6. #6
    Senior Member ryuu_underworld_overlord is a jewel in the rough ryuu_underworld_overlord is a jewel in the rough ryuu_underworld_overlord is a jewel in the rough ryuu_underworld_overlord is a jewel in the rough ryuu_underworld_overlord's Avatar
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    yay ...

  7. #7
    Junior Member Renny_the_halfbreed is on a distinguished road Renny_the_halfbreed's Avatar
    Gil
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    That was a good poem >.>.... Well I liked it anyways and Rukia your one of the coolest people I know in the world

  8. #8
    Princess Usagi sailor_moon70 is a glorious beacon of light sailor_moon70 is a glorious beacon of light sailor_moon70 is a glorious beacon of light sailor_moon70 is a glorious beacon of light sailor_moon70 is a glorious beacon of light sailor_moon70 is a glorious beacon of light sailor_moon70's Avatar
    Gil
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    i love your poem it is wonderful and great i really love it

  9. #9
    Stay in my memories. Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova has a reputation beyond repute Furubalova's Avatar
    Gil
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    it was nice.to me it seemed that in the beginning he noticed you and as the poem goes on you seem to kinda fade away. nice job.


    oh and sailor_moon70, nice sig!

  10. #10
    ♡ Your Royal Sprinkles ♡ Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake has a reputation beyond repute Princess Cupcake's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Yeah, I agree. And thankies oh so very muchies people. =D I wrote it for the people of AF!

    { [Etsy Shop.] [Poetry.] [Art Thread.] }
    Set By
    Seung-Li <3

  11. #11
    I Suck A Lot ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~ will become famous soon enough ~Shizuku~'s Avatar
    Gil
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    I loved the poem...such true words...LOL don't let me get too weird now so I'll just leave it at that
    EGRACEQ MY TWIN...WATCH HER DANCE
    (MADE BY xXx Saisashi . Arashi xXx)
    Grrr. e.e
    Squee!


  12. #12
    Fishes Swim In Zig-Zags Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx has a reputation beyond repute Snowscala_Xx's Avatar
    Gil
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    Xd nice.... O.o i like the snow part if you can guess why... XD
    +If Life gives you lemons, you squirt it in people's eyes+

    la vie est exciter ainsi juste
    ほんとに好きです。CC Lemon 。わたしすきanimeです
    ぜんぶelseひみつです

  13. #13
    Gothic Lolita Skyla-chan Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G has much to be proud of Skyla_G's Avatar
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    I agree with snowscala... the reference to snow and rain are lovely... adds depth to the poem. I can't come up with much constructive critizism... let alone ANY!

    A few comments here made me realize the likeness of the second person in the poem... to me this second character first sees you... but thinks twice! ;_; so sad... again such embroidered imagery... I really hope to see more of your work... even if it's a sad piece, somehow your work is strangly uplifting! ^O^

    Awwww as I reread it... my eyes get glossy and I think of a handful of people who have been ignored by the one person who should have danced the dance of guidance for them! Hehehe sorry for the silly referral here... but hey... this is what inspiration does, NYA!!!
    ~Skyla
    *Ami~chan-sempai made this sig*

    *Ookami-sempai made this sig*

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