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Thread: The Sudden Set

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  1. #1
    Just because Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default The Sudden Set

    The Sudden Set

    She sits atop her golden steed.
    Her face veiled from the world.

    Looking out from within her cloak
    Are two eyes the color of pearls.

    She holds a paintbrush in her hand
    As she watches the sun start to sink.

    Raising the tip,
    She slowly begins to sing.

    At first a hum and then a soft trill.
    Then the melody comes in.

    She dips the brush,
    Into an invisible paint and aims it at the sun.

    She closes her eyes,
    And swishes the brush and the world begins to spin.

    At first a pink then some golden bronze
    The sky begins to change.

    And ever so slowly the lady does paint,
    The colors of the setting sun.

    Then as it all fades she dips her head.
    And tucks her brush away.

    Then she and her steed let out a sigh,
    And as well slowly turn to grey.

    For until the sun does rise again,
    They shall sit in stone.

    For it is their duty and their life,
    To paint the setting sun.

    Authors Notes: Oh my! Something about the sun, not the moon! What a surprise XD
    Last edited by Fabala; 07-18-2008 at 10:51 PM. Reason: removed text color


  2. #2
    Junior Member Aeru is on a distinguished road Aeru's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Your Poem

    I think your poems awsome! I like the kind of sadness in it!

  3. #3
    Just because Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Thank you, I was veering away from my usual poems that involve some sort of night sky or star.

    Oddly enough a lot of my poems... maybe all of them, seem to have some underlying sadness etched into them. I seem to be good with that emotion. I will try a happy one tomorrow maybe...

    Glad you liked it and thank you for the comment <33


  4. #4
    Red Order Member Suki The Werecat will become famous soon enough Suki The Werecat will become famous soon enough Suki The Werecat's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    nice...sad poems always seem to ease others self depression...
    May judgement be passed...

  5. #5
    Just because Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    That is true.

    Although it is not what I intend for the poem, that is always the outcome XD

    The underlying sadness seems to be stuck in my head... I shall attempt to fix that.


  6. #6
    Your Worst Nightmare. Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi is infamous around these parts Saisashi~Arashi's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Actually, in my opinion, the poem doesn't seem very sad at all.

    It actually seems quite happy. I mean, she's painting the sun, then it sets.
    But at least she'll paint again tomorrow. Basically, its like a hidden code about hope. The main point is that there will be another sunrise to paint, and another sunset. She will always be able to paint, and look forward to the next day, when the sun will rise once more.
    Call me Meli <3~







    Merry Christmas!

  7. #7
    Just because Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu has much to be proud of Treyu's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    Wow.

    That was really nicely put and a great insight into my own poem XD

    Thank you for that!


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