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Thread: Rainbow

  1. #1
    100% Vitamin C Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Rainbow

    "Rainbow in a Bottle"
    Don't turn your back on me
    because I redefine
    everything you know.
    I'm absolutely lovely,
    off-color, I might be,
    But magical, oh-so brilliant.
    And so I am forever.

    Comments very much appreciated. Not just "I like it!" but tell me specifically what parts you liked or disliked. I'm open to critism.
    Last edited by Ami~chan; 07-10-2006 at 02:35 AM.
    -Back! From Outer Space!-
    -Soldats Royal Family-

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    Pantsu on my head desu~ .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic has a reputation beyond repute .mystic's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default

    A have no idea what it means but it has a certain uneasy flow towards it... In a good way xD The only thing wrong that i can see (in my taste) is that the line "I'm absolutely love" seems to be out of place. Keep on writing. xD

    EDIT: Oh okay, Now i understand the line lol XD
    Last edited by .mystic; 07-10-2006 at 02:39 AM.
    dead.

  3. #3
    100% Vitamin C Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan has a reputation beyond repute Ami~chan's Avatar
    Gil
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic_revolution
    A have no idea what it means but it has a certain uneasy flow towards it... In a good way xD The only thing wrong that i can see (in my taste) is that the line "I'm absolutely love" seems to be out of place. Keep on writing. xD
    Whoops. Minor typos there. The line is supposed to be "I'm absolutely lovey."

    I'll fix it quickly.

    Keep the comments coming!
    -Back! From Outer Space!-
    -Soldats Royal Family-

  4. #4
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    Gil
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    Default

    well i kinda get it i liked though especaily 'But magical, oh-so brilliant" was really nice. i like ur poem its kinda condraticting a bet i like that. keep posting ^^
    *lost in the world of broken and dead hearts,
    traped in the mist of ones who lied,
    confused by how foolish i am ,
    wanting to disappear in my world alone with ones who care for me,
    is that forbidden to ask that-tell me someone*





    sig by Nespa thank u so much ur awsome !!! lol ^.^
    the famous Crimson Soul the best stalker ever

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