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Thread: Destiny

  1. #1
    Senior Member LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo's Avatar
    Gil
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    Wink Destiny

    You're my only one,
    the one who loves me,
    with her irresistable kisses,
    we are destined to be,
    paths we take,
    always connect,
    like it was a coincidence,
    but it was actually,
    our paths of love,
    I think it's faith,
    that brought us,
    together like glue,
    like magnets that attract,
    you see, we are bonded,
    we share love together,
    forever always,
    Do YOU believe in destiny?
    ------------------------
    ^-^ I'm trying to make poems sense....hope it works!
    Careful, I don't take you lightly.
    Sig set made by Daken
    _________________________________________________
    S. O. S. Finest Swordmaster

  2. #2
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    Great job on showing emotion, romance, and passion in your poem. You know you should try mixing imagery with poetry, I actually think you could master it. Well great poem and hope to see more!

  3. #3
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    It seems too choppy, like a bunch of incomplete thoughts.

    paths we take, always connect? Totally incomplete.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  4. #4
    Senior Member LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo has a reputation beyond repute LittleMomo's Avatar
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    > . < It's kinda hard to explain things. I think I kinda need it to make it more sense. All right, it's now rhyming poems instead!
    Careful, I don't take you lightly.
    Sig set made by Daken
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  5. #5
    Senior Member furuba4ever will become famous soon enough furuba4ever will become famous soon enough furuba4ever's Avatar
    Gil
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    Quote Originally Posted by jump_for_luck77
    > . < It's kinda hard to explain things. I think I kinda need it to make it more sense. All right, it's now rhyming poems instead!
    lol. No, I thought it was good, I liked how you used the similies!










  6. #6
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
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    I think if you just try to make a complete thought, it'd turn out better. You dont' have to rhyme to make a good poem. For example, when you said paths we take, you could have said, the paths we take, or whatever paths we take, and then the next line, it's more complete sounding.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


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