An Unpredictable Love

[Music Fiend]

Hello, my love
How are you today
Looking beautiful, as always
Like a moon-lit bay
You don't know me very well
And yet, we are in love
That love...so unpredictable
As if sent from above


My eyes are watching you
Passion-filled and wide
As I gaze upon my angel
Emotions welling up inside
This love is unpredictable
Of that I can be sure
But just lend me your heart, for eternity
My love is forever yours


I do not care what other people say
How we are “going too fast”
What is the point of life,
If you cannot make it last
So, I will live each day to the fullest
With my angel by my side
Yes, my unpredictable love,
You make life worth the ride


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Author Notes: This is for my girlfriend, and special lady! When you read this, know that I truly love you.

Please feel free to provide some honest, constructive criticism. I know this poem isn't perfect, so I'll appreciate any tips or pointers! ^_^


EDIT: Oww, think you for reading this, my love. Glad it made you feel special!

[Vendetta]

Wow, This is very good. Well written. Add commas after each line, and periods at the end of each entery. That is all I can say. That is great that you wrote something so special for your GF. She should be proud to be your GF.

[Music Fiend]

Thanks, Vendetta!^^ I never really use commas or periods, in my poetry; I use "...", but otherwise, I let it flow. I get what you're saying though, commas would give the poem a better sense of deep-thinking, breaks in thought, and and what-not.

Again, thanks for the tips and comments! I don't know when I'll put another poem on this site, but I will put it in my Journal, before and if, I decide to put it here. Well, at least until I'm more confident about posting my work and I'm more well-known for my writing.