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Thread: Red Queen Effect

  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaruDashi
    Spam <3
    XD

    I LOVE this story! If it wasnt for your sig, I would have thought it was about Alice...I love that book...-sigh-
    Anyway, I liked how you repeated the same paragraph when she went out to meet this boy. I also really liked how the 'good child' and 'bad child' switch roles. I know it sounds cruel, but Im glad to see May dead at the end...you feel so bad for Getrie that you wish May dead...or maybe thats just me, and Im just cold and morbid =^.^=
    It's more Red Riding Hood than Alice o.O The only Alice reference is in the title, which actually refers to a comment made in a science class.

    But hey, thanks guys ^^

  2. #27
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    Gamertag: Marooroo Steam ID: Maru_Mod_Dashi

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reiako
    It's more Red Riding Hood than Alice o.O The only Alice reference is in the title, which actually refers to a comment made in a science class.

    But hey, thanks guys ^^
    lol, I meant by just reading the title. But it does have connections to Rdidng hood...like the coat, and how the boy seems wolf like...
    Although, I wouldve liked to know why he killed her...but it would take away from the format of the story...

  3. #28
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    I didn't say he killed her XDDD

    ...but you are supposed to interpret much of it as a killing/shattering of innocence. It's seen in many areas of the story...and in both sisters.

  4. #29
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    I'm too tired to read it, I guess it will just have to stay pinned for a little longer.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  5. #30
    The Death of You Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch has a reputation beyond repute Die Tod von Euch's Avatar
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    Beautiful and sad, and very well formatted. You have a great writing style that allows the reader to feel almost as if they are the narrator. Or, at the very least, be able to sympathize with the narrator.


    --
    Goes by: Death, Tod, or Shi


  6. #31
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    Words cannot describe the horror I felt when I reached the ending ... And it was based on something that can happen. Another plus. I just hope nothing as horrible will happen to my own sister as the events befell May...

  7. #32
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    ... Reiako, have I ever told you I think you're totally rad?

    If I didn't already know you were good at drawing, I'd beg for an art/write trade. ;_;

    If it's red riding hood inspired, is it... that thing May goes out to meet a wolf of some kind? And I mean that literally, as an animal, not as a predatory man.
    This post has been approved by Dancing Alec™



  8. #33
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    I like to think of him as a wolf in man's clothing. In other words, a predatory man ^_^

    Thanks dear.

  9. #34
    Senior Member Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie's Avatar
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    So I made my writing buddy read this, while we were talking on AIM.

    Whispers: brb
    Friend: sure. This story is interesting, btw.
    Friend: wow. Story turned fascinating.
    Friend: When she said "this is not a pretty story...not a happy story," I groaned. In my experience, most authors use that as an excuse for BAD stories. This wasn't.
    Friend: She's a lot better than any of the supposed "aspiring writers" I've met.
    He's pretty much spot-on, I'd say. :3
    This post has been approved by Dancing Alec™



  10. #35
    Ninja Jesus Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess has a reputation beyond repute Yugure's Goddess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reiako
    I like to think of him as a wolf in man's clothing. In other words, a predatory man ^_^
    oh god! That sounds so like one of the lines near the end of Jin-Roh "We are not men disguised as mere dogs. We are wolves disguised as men." (good movie, btw... lots of red riding hood there, too...)

    eh-em... anyway. *cries hysterically* oh how I wish I could write this good. That was truely magnificent. Reiako, you are now among the people that I worship. If you don't write more I will KILL you!! And Dorian, this is a MUST-READ!! Tell me you plan on taking this writing talent as a profession! You could make millions with this, almost sickening amount of talent you have in your work. *sobs for hours out of envy* XD

    Anyway... yeah. I should tell you what to improve on but... I don't know...It's so great and so far above me, there is nothing that I would change. It's fantastic and you're a god and I'm just gonna curl up into a little ball in the corner over here. Don't mind me. I'm just a mere human, your holiness. A wanna-be writing goddess... *sighs* ((lol))

    ...

    love
    dani
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    Last edited by Yugure's Goddess; 10-09-2006 at 01:43 AM.
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  11. #36
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    lol. You all are too much.

    For clarification, I am not a writing major. I want to be a forensic pathologist, while writing on the side. Honestly? It is VERY difficult to make a living by writing fiction. I've disappointed my fair share of writing/English teachers through this before, but in the end they have to agree with me XD

    Whispers and friend: <3

    Yugure's Goddess: I've always wanted to see Jin-Roh. I have an almost unhealthy fascination with the darker side of fairy tales.

  12. #37
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    What an amazing story! I love the way that you repeat one section, almost like the refrain of a song. Beautifully written.
    "Ere sin could blight or sorrow fade

    Death came with friendly care.
    The opening bud to Heaven conveyed
    And bade it blossom there."
    --Samuel Taylor Coleridge

  13. #38
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    Wink impressed

    I wasn't sure what to expect at first, sometimes ppl when they use symbolic titles, I don't know, they get caught in this cycle, and at the end, the story is just pretty words placed together with no flow, and did nothing mentally or emotionally.
    You have managed both, and your descriptions were very good.
    I'm going to have to look for your posts from now on.
    Peace be with you.
    http://tn3-2.deviantart.com/fs8/300W...enLiedClub.jpg

  14. #39
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    Oh wow....that was magnificent. Keep it up!

    Wow....just wow....
    ~Thanks, Souhi! I heart it!~

  15. #40
    Just Some Color Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala's Avatar
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    Many thanks ^^;

  16. #41
    Senior Member Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie's Avatar
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    So when are you gonna write something new, eh? Eeeeeeh?

    EEEEEEEEEHHHHH????

    O:<
    This post has been approved by Dancing Alec™



  17. #42
    Just Some Color Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala's Avatar
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    Thinking about working on something next week with my extra free time actually... If I stick to doing the one I want to write, it'll be a looooong time in completing.

  18. #43
    Senior Member Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie has a reputation beyond repute Ollie's Avatar
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    I demand instant gratification! >:[
    This post has been approved by Dancing Alec™



  19. #44
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    Eeehhh...we'll see.

    This is why I could never write professionally XD I can't do it until I'm good and ready.

  20. #45
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    .........Oh........my...........gawd!!! I am crying. I am really and truely crying. I havent cried in 2 years and here I am bawling my eyes out. *sniff sniff* You write to good. Its not fair. Now anyone who reads this will think my story sucks. Great. *is beyond jealous*

    ~* Love Lady *~
    samba bamba, llama momma.

    need a new set, feel free to offer. :3

  21. #46
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    It was very touching i'm very suprised at how well it was writtin..................it definetly caught my attention!

  22. #47
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    You came in expecting bad writing? XDD

    I tease, I tease. But thank you for your comments.

  23. #48
    boopaloop! Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys has a reputation beyond repute Daenerys's Avatar
    Gil
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    I guess I can unpin this now and pin something else.
    making emo kids[/URL] cry since 1998


  24. #49
    Star-Crossed Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku has a reputation beyond repute Buruku's Avatar
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    I read this back when you first posted it, but never commented. XD But I just read it again, I got more out of it this time.

    Its very good, as everyones told you. I think its weird how the guy/man that Mays been associating with is never really described...he's just like this, I don't know, lurking bad thing. Well it definitely made me curious. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. lol

    What made you want to write something like this?
    A MaruDashi Creation

  25. #50
    Just Some Color Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala has a reputation beyond repute Fabala's Avatar
    Gil
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    Too much Gregory Maguire and fairy tales? Honestly I don't know. I've had the image of a girl slipping out into the middle of the night in some kind of red cloak/coat for some time now. Seemed logical to play with Little Red Riding Hood in a way.

    It's funny, I had the first scene written first, and then numerous drafts afterwards where I didn't like the way the first scene flowed with the rest of the story. I decided I needed something a little more...bizarre? Ungrounded? So one day I sat down and wrote the rest of the story, very much like the finished version. I'm like that. Always too much creativity or not enough. Could never be a writer professionally.

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