wow. freaky story.
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wow. freaky story.
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*Gasp* Great story you've got here it kept me busy with reading, luckly I came when you made changes. The 'Red queen effect' gives me the idea of blood spilled, tough it would not go in vain and yes, the robe does play a part in this story. As they say make a bad mistake and you'll find your self not having a second chance. The plot shows that poeple should learn from mistakes and try and not go out at night with someone even if you really care about the person. SAD SAD story, but still a wonderfull tale that has potentiol to help those out that is suffering through the same things...
In all honesty, when I made changes they weren't very big changes...just some ideas a former writing instructor of mine had. The story you read is essentially the same story I sat down and wrote in one sitting (first scene in a separate session, also with minimal changes). I love it when words flow the way you want them to. Shame it doesn't happen more often.
Continue? Not on this one. It's a stand-alone short story ;p I'm batting around a few other story ideas though...maybe I'll be inspired to write one some day.
Aha, well, erm I feel bad that this story is going to be bumped by THIS post. ._. Disclaimer: symbolism and subtly is often lost on me.
I...honestly did not think it was anything special. Yes, it was lovely and well written, and I really did hurt for the clash of these two sisters. But I was also...somewhat confused. I know that's the intent in this type of form (which I can never seem to grasp for the life of me) but it just makes me rage moar. And pardon me, but without reading the above comments and commentary I would probably think even less of this story. ;__; I wish I had better things to say other than the concept was great, as was your execution, and your writing continues to be top notch. I just don't think this is your best work, so I wonder why it is this that you choose to advertise in your sig. Hm...
*flees before being maimed*
Back, by popular demand! Now with new avy.
That. was. an. awesome. story!!
I got interested in the very beginning and couldn't stop. I love the way it was written ^^ I wish so badly i could write like
you. I write but not like you do.
You'll have to teach me how to write ^^
[set by blueangel06661]♥
this is sad..... wow...the red queen effect just scares me.
"Tell her that I miss our little talks."
this was the sadest story i have ever read but you must wrie more stories i hardly read these kinds and only post more! please?
You find life unfair? Try being and egg. You only get laid once, you only get eaten once, it takes four minutes to get hard, but only two to get soft, you share a box with eleven other guys, but what's worse was the only chick to sit on you is your mom!
Good story! I especially liked the beginning. The first few lines are the most important part of any short story. If you don't start off with something intriguing, then most people will be turned off immediately. But, this beginning was a brilliant start that pulled me in. Excellent work!
I need a new signature and I didn't know what to put, so I decided to throw this in.
Also check out my blog at http://danielkamin.wordpress.com
Writer's Envy. I has it.
I find this story to be very well written. It's short (compared to what it could be) yet has a sense of completeness about it. Normally I prefer more detail, but with this particular style, more would just take the power from the story. I believe someone else already mentioned the "Less is more" factor.
Keep it up! I want to read more!
Haha, thanks. Yes, I was aiming for a somewhat minimalist approach. I'm glad it was well-received. I actually have more writing on this site if you do a search for my name. Otherwise, I've just finished this university semester and will hopefully have time to write again. Doing so many science classes has somewhat sapped my creative spirit, but I think it's on the way back.
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