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Thread: Help...need Advice...

  1. #1
    Angel of Death ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime has a reputation beyond repute ladyanime's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Help...need Advice...

    Okey kids, gotta question...well its more i need advice...I have been w/ my b/f for 6 months...we get along alright but...he lies to me about big things...He told me that his dad was in Canada but told my best friend and her b/f (my b/f and my best friends b/f are friends) that his dad was killed in prision. He told me that he only had one sibling but told my best friend that his mom was forced into a aboration.And now he told me that he ordered a card for my best friend because he traded hers and she told him that ALL trades were not permenate...and he still traded the card and told us that he oredered it and that it was on its way but he changed his story last night and said that he could not order it w/ out a credit card...And the worst of it he told my mom that he was not going to have sex before he was married...he had already had sex when he told my mom that...Any advice...I am not quite sure what to do...I have tried talking to him about it but he makes up stories and i dont know what to belive...




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  2. #2
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    Well I may not be a relationship or person expert but the lying is a big problem and will defiantly make you have trust issues with him in the future. I assume you already talked to him about this? If not it would be wise to do so, some people donít know how bad they are about stuff until some one close to them tells them. If he is unwilling or unable to change, you may need to take some time to reexamine what you want in life and if he will be a hindrance (with the lying or other things) or if he is the love of your life even with the lies. Either way talk to him first so that way he knows what is going on and not so shocked when you bring it up.

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  3. #3
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    Lying is a major problem in a relationship. There is supposed to be trust and equal communication. How do you have that if you can never believe what the other person is saying? If you cannot talk to him about it anymore, then put your foot down and say you do not want to talk to him until he says the true. Who knows what else he is lying about?

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    Quote Originally Posted by MistressPookyChan
    Lying is a major problem in a relationship. There is supposed to be trust and equal communication. How do you have that if you can never believe what the other person is saying? If you cannot talk to him about it anymore, then put your foot down and say you do not want to talk to him until he says the true. Who knows what else he is lying about?
    I agree
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  5. #5
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    I have to agree with the two posters above. I don't want to tell you what to you--as it is YOUR life but I will try to assist with my two-cents. I beleive you should confront this issue. Sit him down and ask for an explaination; if you are not satisified with the answer then, move on--You can not have a relationship with someone you cannot trust.
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  6. #6
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    i agree i should ......^^
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  7. #7
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    Thanks guys...the problem is i have already tried everything i can think of...i'v talked to him about it and he blows me off and says he's sorry, i told him...tell him that he should either tell me the truth or just not talk to me...that was probally bad...




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  8. #8
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    I'm 19, and I've been in that situation millions of times. He's not worth worrying about. It may start off with little lies here and there, but then he's going to start cheating on you and lying about that. Think about it, is he really worth all this trouble? There's probably a million other guys out there who could treat you 100 times better than he does. I once thought that my boyfriend was the only one and that I would never find anyone better. He cheated on me, lied about where he was going and what he was doing, lied to my friends, my parents, and he snuck out of his house a lot to go and party, which he lied about to me. Once I opened my eyes and saw that I don't need him then it made me realize that I'm better than that, I don't deserve to be with a guy who treats me like dirt. All you have to do is find a couple friends who will support you in your decision, that's what I did. It's really up to you though. It's not my life to live, it's yours, but think of what's good for you. The heart loves to play mind games, but if you listen to your head before your heart then you might make the right decision. Hope this helps a little. I'm just giving you imput from my point a view. I hope I didn't offend you with anything I just said. Good luck!
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  9. #9
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    well...my advice to you is..since he is doing this, you should just break your relationship with him and move on....

    (p.s.: I dont know much things about these love related stuff, so I could be wrong.)

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyanime
    Thanks guys...the problem is i have already tried everything i can think of...i'v talked to him about it and he blows me off and says he's sorry, i told him...tell him that he should either tell me the truth or just not talk to me...that was probally bad...
    Be frank with him. Tell him a relationship does NOT last built on lies. Make it clear that YOU need to be able to trust him, and that if changes aren't made you won't be in this relationship any longer.

    I know it's not easy, but the fact is...better to get out now than to stay together, become more serious, while never able to trust him.

  11. #11
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    Baby Serena, that was well said. I agree with her, it'll only get worse.
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  12. #12
    Member Doll Face will become famous soon enough Doll Face will become famous soon enough Doll Face's Avatar
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    Wanting to know the truth from some one should not make you feel bad. He should feel bad for the lies he spins, especially to his loved ones. Overall if he is lying like this now and does not want to change think about what will happen when your relationship becomes even more serious, you will start to doubt him at every turn (do to his past track record, even if he is telling the truth), it will cause you undo stress (hard to tell when he is telling the truth and when he is not, people who lie tend to learn from their mistakes), and it will lead to heartbreak in the end.
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    It sounds like that book that's out there. You might want to read it. It's called He's Just Not That Into You. It's a big seller over here in America. It tells of instences like this where the guy does something like what your guy is doing and explains the signals. You might want to read it. It's by a guy and he explains things from a guy's point of view. His names Greg Behrendt. I think this book will help you more that anyone's advice. But in my oppinion it sounds like you need to dump him. If he does nothing but lie to you that does not make a good relationship.
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  14. #14
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    Run. Do not walk away. Run.
    You can not, and will not change him. He has to want to change. You already can see what he is doing around your friends and family and to you , with his lies and etc...

    There is nothing to debate or consider doing. It is cut and dry. Move on before he drags you down to his level. Do not become co dependant on anyone ever. Doing so lowers your self confidence, your self respect and self esteem.

    I am closing this post because no matter what anyone else says, it comes down to what you want to do. Our opinions will not make you do anything different than what you want to do. There are plenty of help topics out there already. If we allow every one, the board will be flooded with them. So this is nothing personal against you. Basically your not going to get to many different opinions here.

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