‘3rd person’ in love relationship

[VARLY]

I have some curiosity in this and I want to know the general idea & variety of people’s point of view’s opinion [either it’s objective or subjective opinion’s all right ^^]

Here’s some condition, just write your though, idea or what will u do about it :

1. in one time u suddenly fall in love with someone, then later u know that u r in the ‘3rd person’s position [he/she may either already has person they like, BF/GF or even wife/husband]

2. u r currently going out with someone [consider u really like him/her] then suddenly a 3rd person pop out n want to take U

3. if u r having some affairs with 3rd person

4. u r currently going out with someone [consider u really like him/her] then suddenly a 3rd person pop out n want to take HIM/HER


5. if condition number 3 happen [the 3rd person do take him/her to be theirs]

6. if u find out that your bf/gf/wife/husband having affair with 3rd person

7. u r currently going out with someone [consider u really like him/her] then suddenly a 3rd person pop out. Now they r either your family or friends that disagree with your current relationship

ok thank you for all poster ^^

[Marie2007]

that is hard and weird

[VARLY]

ha? really? then just answer it simply,,,

[lordraziel]

well the first love that i had was a pretty girl and we cared for eachother deeply been when it comes to a thug and a parents beautiful daughter it gets hard to keep a relationship but that diidnt last sorry to say but it will never be not ever so i guess u could say the thrid person was her parents sorry for not sticking with ur condition

[Krsnik]

WARNING: This post may cause a lot of controversy. If you're not willing to be open minded, just hit the back button.

Ok, with that being said, VARLY, there are a couple of things i'd like to point out.

1.) Most humans don't know what "Love" is, and confuse it with physical attraction, or just a simple crush.

2.) Let's say that the other person is married, and so are you. Would you really be able to live yourself if you broke both marriages apart? Say the guy has a kid with his wife, and you broke that marraige up. Would you be able to actually not feel bad about taking that boy away from an actual family that could have had a chance?

3.) It doesn't matter on any situation if you're dating someone, or they are, if there is a third person that suddenly "Pops" out. If they guy or girl is cheating, dump them. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Live by that rule. If you end up liking someone else and actually acting on it, you probably shouldn't be dating the person that you are, because you're obviously not happy.

4.) Let's say the third person suddenly "Pops" out again, and they don't agree with your relationship. Well, that's pretty damn easy - It's not their place to tell you what to do, it's your life, and your choice. If they don't agree with it, they should respect you enough to not say anything and let you learn for yourself. If they speak on their dissagreements on the relationship, listen to what they're saying. In a generalization, most of the time it's due to the third person not liking them. They'll come up with ample reasons that don't make any sense.

5.) If you're currently dating and someone wants to take your boyfriend or girlfriend away, you shouldn't really worry too much. If your mate cheats, then they obviously didn't like you enough to continue the relationship.

6.) People throw the world "Love" around way too easily. I've never said to someone that i love them where i didn't actually mean it. It can take you a long time to realize what love actually is, and until then, don't say it - it just ends up hurting the other person in the long run.

That's all i've got to say on the subject. 'Nuff said.

[Fabala]

4. u r currently going out with someone [consider u really like him/her] then suddenly a 3rd person pop out n want to take HIM/HER

That's mine. That is so mine. Well...a slight variation, actually. In that the "third person" did not know they WERE a third person. Thus both parties were injured. Now personally, I was in love at the time. Very much so, with years invested into the relationship.

I tell you, it HURT. It was possibly the worst physical pain I've ever endured. Physical. To say nothing of emotional...mental...spiritual...and so on. For anyone who has or is thinking about being the operator of such a scheme? I tell you this: If you have any feelings for either of the other parties...don't do it. Don't do it, or decide on one before you have both at once, and either break it off with the first, or never get started with the second. It's not worth it, in the end... Not for anybody.

I have also BEEN the third person. I fell for and then pined over someone while I watched him date two other girls. While I admit to faltering enough to tell him of my feelings during the second relationship, I did not act any further. I couldn't have respected him if he had agreed, and couldn't have respected myself either way...just for attempting it. It should simply come down to putting yourself in the other's shoes (in this case the girl in the relationship) and thinking about how it would feel. Almost funny that I didn't, because then it later happening to me would be the perfect karma balancing. Hm.

[VARLY]

hey thank you everyone for posting to this thread
Krsnik, it's alright; i actually like your point of view n sense
n reiako thanx for the advice...
[i was thinking of taking the general idea here, but why it turn out to be this serious?? oh well]

[Knife_Messiah]

In a three people relationship, there will always be a total of one or two that are responsible for the disloyality to either ones of their significant others. Therefore...KILL THE TRAITORS!

[Kyo Kusanagi]

These kinds of things were extremely frequent when I tried the online dating scene. Drama like crazy! Glad I don't have to worry about it anymore.


For now anyway.

[Moon Helix Avatar]

I have been in the situation.....and to tell the truth it is never worth it.
I have lost ppl, had them decived and taken away.To me.....a relationship is not worth the effort anymore.It has pretty much gotten to the point where I don't hurt any more, more because it is a sort of numbness now.

[sumae_the_firewolf]

1. in one time u suddenly fall in love with someone, then later u know that u r in the ‘3rd person’s position [he/she may either already has person they like, BF/GF or even wife/husband] (Get very very mad)

2. u r currently going out with someone [consider u really like him/her] then suddenly a 3rd person pop out n want to take U (Consider your choises. Who do you like more?)

3. if u r having some affairs with 3rd person (I don't cheat!)

4. u r currently going out with someone [consider u really like him/her] then suddenly a 3rd person pop out n want to take HIM/HER (curse out the third person)


5. if condition number 3 happen [the 3rd person do take him/her to be theirs] (Leave)

6. if u find out that your bf/gf/wife/husband having affair with 3rd person (LEAVE)

7. u r currently going out with someone [consider u really like him/her] then suddenly a 3rd person pop out. Now they r either your family or friends that disagree with your current relationship (Who cares what they think!)

[Saphire]

i think they'd all suck and i have been through all of them

[-akichan-]

3rd person is the worst weapon in a relationship, if you're in a relationship and someone else gets in, it hurts the couple, but when you're the 3rd person you'd feel guilty, ive been the third person before, and also been killed by the 3rd person.

[otaku_ayachan]

sometime the guy or girls that we love just using us to get the third person or something like that.

[forgotten Duo]

A third person believe it or not, is not always a bad thing. I know of a relationship where the woman knew in advance that her soon to be husband had problems being loyal to one person. So she confronted him about it. It turns out he wasn't trying to form relationships with other women, or trying to hurt any of his ex's, he just needed a change every now and then. After that conversation she started taking him down to one of the local brothels, so he could have clean sex with no emotional attachments. He's happy, she's happy and as she says "gets some time off". It doesn't work for everybody, but it works for them.

That being said, I couldn't do it. I've had problems with people cheating. The worst one was when by boyfriend broke up with me and started dating my best friend the same day. But thats life.

Like it or not, humans aren't really designed to want a sexual encounters with only one person for the rest of their lives. We are designed to go out and gather as much DNA as possible. Does that make it ok to cheat, no. We've reached a point where we should be able to resist those urges ... blah blah blah.

I'll stop now.

[Mistress Koneko]

I was in a 3 person relationship before but I had no idea I was at the time. I found out by accident too so that was a major shock to the system. It hurt then and it still hurts now, although not nearly as much as before. I still don't understand it and I have always prided myself on being someone who would never steal a boyfriend from anyone. Now I really can't say that anymore when I have done it, even though I didn't know I was at the time.

After that whole mess cleared up I was kind of suspecting everyone lying to me. Even my current boyfriend for a while. He put my suspicions to rest quite quickly and I have never doubted him since. Of course I flat out told him that if he ever did that to me I would kill him and I was standing in the kitchen holding a knife in my hand as I said it too. ^^;; Maybe I really AM as violent as everyone thinks me to be ^^;;

Anyway, long story short ( I know, I know "too late!" ) If you are even CONSIDERING that you are having feelings for someone else try to break it off with either that person you are having feelings for before it gets too serious or break it off with the person you are currently with ASAP. Nothing but hurts comes from a situation like this and if you even THINK that there is no way you will get caught, you are wrong! The truth ALWAYS finds a way out.

[Capernicus]

Anyway, long story short ( I know, I know "too late!" ) If you are even CONSIDERING that you are having feelings for someone else try to break it off with either that person you are having feelings for before it gets too serious or break it off with the person you are currently with ASAP. Nothing but hurts comes from a situation like this and if you even THINK that there is no way you will get caught, you are wrong! The truth ALWAYS finds a way out.

It's not always that easy. I currently have a boyfriend who I am not in love with and am sort've "cheating on him" with a girl. I didn't mean for this kind of thing to happen. She is a friend on this site, and we sort've fell in love. And I wanted so badly to tell my boyfriend about it (I love him like a brother), but he was going into the army soon and I didn't want to mess up his focus during training. I know he loves me so much, and I don't know what he would do if he lost me. So I took the cowards way out and let him leave happy. I reasoned that it will be years before the girl and I would ever be together (as she lives on a whole nother content and is a minor), so I could tell him afterward. However, I don't think that I will have the strength to break up with him even then. I am a bad person. -_-

[Fabala]

Not easy, no...but people WILL be hurt. Know that.

[Mistress Koneko]

It's not always that easy. I currently have a boyfriend who I am not in love with and am sort've "cheating on him" with a girl. I didn't mean for this kind of thing to happen. She is a friend on this site, and we sort've fell in love. And I wanted so badly to tell my boyfriend about it (I love him like a brother), but he was going into the army soon and I didn't want to mess up his focus during training. I know he loves me so much, and I don't know what he would do if he lost me. So I took the cowards way out and let him leave happy. I reasoned that it will be years before the girl and I would ever be together (as she lives on a whole nother content and is a minor), so I could tell him afterward. However, I don't think that I will have the strength to break up with him even then. I am a bad person. -_-

The right thing to do is never always the easiest thing to do but you have to. It's better if he hears it from you then some other way.

Don't keep him dangling like that. It isn't fair to him. You said so yourself that you love him "like a brother" but he adores you from what I've heard. You need to let him go because it isn't fair to keep him waiting in the wings while you are off starting something new with someone else. It isn't fair to anyone involved. You need to tell him ASAP before it gets any worse.

[Ωmega]

wow.thats alot to discuss....i think im just gonna summerize my response for all the scenerios: i would be extremly hurt if cheated on,and i wouldnt tolerate it. nor would i ever cheat on someone im with,reguardless of how the relationships going (they deserve more respect than that...unless they beat you...then they deserve to die) and i have to agree with reiako...if theres more than two people in a relationship,then someone will be hurt

[cblssms]

My boyfriend and I have talked about this b4... sort of... it was a "what if" event:
1. I may like the person, but I would NEVER go up to the person personally and tell him.
2. Shove the 3rd person off and tell my BF about it.
3. I would tell my BF and accept the consequences of my actions.
4. See what my BF would do. If he wants to leave me, so be it, but I will miss him. If not, all the more love to give, eh?
5. Walk out the door, and don't look back.
6. Isn't this the same as #5?
7. Who cares what anyone thinks? It's my life! ^.~V

[g0d_of_death]

1. You leave them be. You don't interfere, it's not right.

2. You explain to the person that you're in a relationship and you don't do much else.

3. You don't have affairs with people; but if you do, you confess.

4. You talk to them and tell them to f off. Don't instigate anythin, but explain that you're going out with the person.

5. I don't understand the question.

6. I personally couldn't forgive someone if they cheated on me, so I'd leave my gf if she was having an affair.

7. Don't pay any mind to that person. They don't have the right to tell you who you should or shouldn't be going out with.

[Capernicus]

You need to let him go because it isn't fair to keep him waiting in the wings while you are off starting something new with someone else. It isn't fair to anyone involved. You need to tell him ASAP before it gets any worse.

What? Am I supposed to send him a letter and break up with him? That's the only contact I have with him right now.

[Fabala]

If not that then put the new person on hold until you DO tell him.

[Kloud_Seven]

If you're the third person in a relationship,then you should be ashamed of yourself.