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Thread: Yousei Teikoku - Kegarenaki Tsuki no Doku

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    Default Yousei Teikoku - Kegarenaki Tsuki no Doku

    This song turned out to be more difficult than I thought, so I'd really appreciate some feedback...
    I've been mostly having problems with one particular stanza (which I'll highlight), but feel free to let me know if you see anything wrong with the rest of it. Thanks in advance!

    Romaji:

    Kegarenaki tsuki no doku ni mushibamareta
    Sukitooru shiroki karada wa sabiiro ni somatte

    Moshi watashi ga inakunareba
    Kono sekai wa yagate tojiru

    Yurusareta jikan wa kaze no gotoku sugite
    Nokosareta daichi wa usuragi kieteyuku

    Kiri ni saku hana mo tsuyu wo nomu kusaki mo
    Akatsuki ni mezameru mae ni hitoshirezu yukasete

    Moshi watashi wo itsu no hi ni ka
    Mitsuketa nara oshiete hoshii

    Watashi no shinigao wa waraeteimashita ka
    Kono mune no itami ni taereteimashita ka

    Mizuumi no soko de tsuki ni dakare nemuru
    Yagate kono sekai tojite mo samishikunai you ni

    English:

    My see-through, white body,
    Eaten away by the venom of the taintless moon, is being dyed in the color of rust.

    If I should cease to exist,
    This world will close in time.

    The time I'm allowed to have passes like the wind,
    And the land left behind fades away as it grows dim.

    Both the flowers blooming in the fog, and the vegetation drinking the dewdrops,
    Lead me to death discreetly before I awaken at dawn.


    If, one day, you have found me,
    Please tell me:

    Did I die with a smile on my face?
    Was I able to endure the pain in my bosom?

    At the bottom of the lake, I sleep in the embrace of the moon.
    Even if this world eventually closes, I just hope I won't be lonely.

    Kanji:

    穢れ無き月の 毒に蝕まれた
    透き通る白き躰は 錆色に染まって

    もし私が いなくなれば
    この世界は やがて閉じる

    赦された時間は 風の如く過ぎて
    遺された大地は 薄らぎ消えてゆく

    霧に咲く花も 露を呑む草木も
    暁に目覚める前に 人知れず逝かせて

    もし私を いつのひにか
    見つけたなら 教えて欲しい

    私の死に顔は 笑えていましたか
    この胸の痛みに 耐えれていましたか

    湖の底で 月に抱かれ眠る
    やがてこの世界閉じても 淋しくないように

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    Default Re: Yousei Teikoku - Kegarenaki Tsuki no Doku

    もし私が いなくなれば
    この世界は やがて閉じる
    >If I should cease to exist,
    >This world will close in time.

    Minding the "time" as an object in the following verse, and also the sentence itself which could take the meaning of the world "submerging into time", let's replace the やがて part to a simpler adverb:
    This world will eventually shut.

    赦された時間は 風の如く過ぎて
    遺された大地は 薄らぎ消えてゆく
    >The time I'm allowed to have passes like the wind,
    >And the land left behind fades away as it grows dim.

    I see you notice that 薄らぎ is not a conjunction as it is in the noun form and such you make the two verbs as concurrent actions. Very good, but looking at the bigger picture it isn't necessary to give that detail here, because "growing" dim and "fading away" are almost mutually exclusive...
    And the land left behind fades and disappears.

    霧に咲く花も 露を呑む草木も
    暁に目覚める前に 人知れず逝かせて
    >Both the flowers blooming in the fog, and the vegetation drinking the dewdrops,
    >Lead me to death discreetly before I awaken at dawn.

    First off, your use of "both" there are implying the two subjects there are strictly only two. But ~も~も isn't so strict as that.
    Okay so in the second line there is a -te form which is a very tricky thing indeed. It often signals an inverted sentence with the -te verb in a conjunction.
    But there is no way you can invert the sentence. And such, we should take this sentence as a soft request form. (Forgot the right technical word for it...)
    Oh flowers blooming in the mist, oh greenery lapping into the dewdrops,
    Please bring the end of my life quietly before the rise of dawn.

    (That is my take on the sentence, which would make more sense if it goes like 霧に咲く花よ 露を呑む草木よ, so I may be wrong with this.)

    この胸の痛みに 耐えれていましたか
    >Was I able to endure the pain in my bosom?

    ...bosom...
    It's better to correlate the two questions together.
    Was I able to hide the pain inside my heart?

    湖の底で 月に抱かれ眠る
    やがてこの世界閉じても 淋しくないように
    >At the bottom of the lake, I sleep in the embrace of the moon.
    >Even if this world eventually closes, I just hope I won't be lonely.

    Folks, this is an example of the open interpretation. Lyrics so vague that no one can be absolutely right when delivering the translation of this line.
    Of course, the usage of ように here is correct; it's a wish not a comparable.
    But what I see from the stanza is that the moon is the one who is consoling the singer, making the two lines a cause-and-effect.
    My argument is that the singer had been making descriptions all song. Yes, she is the one sleeping so it might be that the subject is still her in the second line. But I want to see the reason why she is being embraced by the moon.
    So that I won't be lonely when this world has finally sealed.
    Last edited by AzureDark; 01-21-2016 at 08:36 AM.

    ...so that you know where you can find me

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    Default Re: Yousei Teikoku - Kegarenaki Tsuki no Doku

    Thanks for the feedback!

    Minding the "time" as an object in the following verse, and also the sentence itself which could take the meaning of the world "submerging into time", let's replace the やがて part to a simpler adverb:
    This world will eventually shut.
    Ah, now that you mention it, it could be interpreted that way...

    First off, your use of "both" there are implying the two subjects there are strictly only two. But ~も~も isn't so strict as that.
    Okay so in the second line there is a -te form which is a very tricky thing indeed. It often signals an inverted sentence with the -te verb in a conjunction.
    But there is no way you can invert the sentence. And such, we should take this sentence as a soft request form. (Forgot the right technical word for it...)
    Oh flowers blooming in the mist, oh greenery lapping into the dewdrops,
    Please bring the end of my life quietly before the rise of dawn.
    (That is my take on the sentence, which would make more sense if it goes like 霧に咲く花よ 露を呑む草木よ, so I may be wrong with this.)
    I just automatically interpreted it the same way I did with the first stanza, but I see how 逝かせて could be a request.

    Folks, this is an example of the open interpretation. Lyrics so vague that no one can be absolutely right when delivering the translation of this line.
    Of course, the usage of ように here is correct; it's a wish not a comparable.
    But what I see from the stanza is that the moon is the one who is consoling the singer, making the two lines a cause-and-effect.
    My argument is that the singer had been making descriptions all song. Yes, she is the one sleeping so it might be that the subject is still her in the second line. But I want to see the reason why she is being embraced by the moon.
    So that I won't be lonely when this world has finally sealed.
    Ohh, I can't believe I missed that! ;l

    Again, thanks for all the help!
    Last edited by Haze~; 03-06-2016 at 11:39 AM.

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