Okay, I'm posting this here instead of making a unilateral admin decision because it's a bit of a judgment call and I'd like a second opinion.
http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/cbebop/cbtrfb.htm
http://www.kasi-time.com/item-5539.html
Though there are some errors, most of this translation isn't technically wrong so much as... missing nuance, I guess (and also the English grammar is shaky). Normally I'd just leave it, but this song is so iconic that it bugs me that the translation of it here, on the most high-profile anime lyric database, is not great.
So for example, the first stanza:
愛してたと嘆くには
あまりにも時は過ぎてしまった
まだ心のほころびを
癒せぬまま 風が吹いてる
>It's too late to cry I love you.
>The wind still blowing, my heart still aching
First of all, I think it's important to note that 愛してた is in the past tense, which the current translation totally misses. (I also think the syntax of the first line--or what should be the first two lines--would be clearer if it were "It's too late to cry that I loved you" or "it's too late to cry, 'I loved you,'" but that's a quibble, really.)
As for the second line/set of two lines, the current translation is leaving a lot of stuff out. "まだ心のほころびを癒せぬまま" is literally "With the tear/gash in my heart still unhealed," so the lines in full would be "With the tear/gash in my heart still unhealed, the wind is blowing."
My translation of the stanza would be as follows:
"Too much time has passed
To lament that I loved you
The wind's still blowing
Through the unhealed gash in my heart"
(Taking a bit of creative license on the last two lines, but I don't think it's too much of a reach.)
Then later on there's this line:
どれだけ生きれば いやされるのだろう
Which is currently translated as "How long I must live till I release?" but clearly should be "How long do I have to live before I'm healed?", referring back to the first stanza.
So, Azu, and any fellow translators who feel like kibitzing, what do you think? Bad enough to be worth replacing, y/n?
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