buffalo wings may in fact be the most over rated food ever eaten. oh, you love buffalo wings? let me explain why you're an idiot.
1) the ratio of meat to bone is roughly 1:3. i have never been able to get my mouth even a fifth full from eating a single wing. i have to pick pieces of stringy, badly seasoned (meaning slathered in gross buffalo sauce) meat like a carrion bird picking at a corpse. it literally impossible to take a full bite out of a buffalo wing, unless your mouth is the size of an infants.
2) you have to dismantle a wing to get at all the meat. the other option is to use your buffalo sauce stained fingers to push the meat from between the two bones. i'm all for eating with my hands and working for my food (crab legs for instance), but a buffalo wing can't be compared to a crab leg because the latter is actually worth working at. why should i spend 20 minutes picking at wings to fill my stomach when a solid breast would do the job in 5?
just what the f*ck is so redeeming about wings that people continue to discuss them like they're the bees knees? "Oh, you hungry? Let's go to Buffalo Wild Wings/Hooters and get some buffalo wings! They're sooo good!" yeah? you can dump buffalo sauce on any part of the bird and get the same flavor and save yourself money and time, and possibly your friendship. when my friends say Let's go out for wings, i kick them out and order a meat lover's pizza for one. oh, i got sidetracked.
3) you have to be careful of where you bite because there's chunks of cartilage at either side of the wing, as well as dark stringy bits of unknown origin. i know there's nothing i like more biting into a piece of meat and discovering there's a grizzly piece of cartilage in my mouth. i especially like the part where i have to fish around in my mouth and pick it out.
wings are food for tools. you gather 4 people, spend 20$ and at the end of the meal, nobody's full.
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