Rest in Peace Lui

[Kaleohano]

As of 4:32PM in Hettenhausen Germany, Sunday November 10, my dog Lui had to be put down due to kidney failure and a weak heart. He was the absolute best dog imaginable. Not a single person has ever met him, that didn't immediately fall in love with him. He's been a part of my life for over 9 years. Sadly i couldn't be a part of his life for the last 2. I was separated from my best friend due to my job and now will never be able to see him again. Its something i haven't been able to fully wrap my head around yet. It just doesn't seem like its real.

I'm not entirely sure how to handle this. I don't quite understand how i feel about it. I knew he would die eventually. But I wasn't prepared to realize that the last time i said goodbye to him almost two years ago was the last time i'd ever get to see him. I get to go on leave in little over a month. I was looking forward to seeing him. I don't even want to go anymore...nothing seems to matter. So for now, i just drink.

How about you guys? I know that many of you have been through the same. How'd you go about dealing with it?

[DeathBlade/13.666]

I know your pain, man. Within the first 2-3 years of being in the Air Force my dog Lady passed away at about 14-15. Though it was her time and she went in peace, it still left a bit of a void in me when I returned to find her already buried. I just take pride in the fact that we were able to give her a loving home and lots of care for the 12-13 years we had her, and she never had to go back to what she had to deal with before (bad owners that don't know how to train or care for hunting dogs without harming them). Thus her last moments were loving ones, that I'm sure she cherished greatly.

[Darkandiel]

It's always sad to lose a pet because they are a member of the family. I had a dog who had been with me since I was a baby. My parents got him when I was 6 months old. He died when I was 15. Not having him there anymore left a massive hole in our lives. You just have to cherish the moments you did have with him, and remember what he brought to your life, rather than dwelling on the times that you missed being around him. Being there wouldn't have made it any easier on you or him, you know? Losing him would be terribly hard either way. That's important to remember. He knew you loved him and treated him well, and that's all that matters. =)

[.:neuko:.]

Well, I've not quite shared the same experience as you when it comes to the loss of pets (due to my circumstances not being related to the armed forces and all...); so my way of dealing with the loss of pets may be different to yours.

I gather that due to unavoidable circumstances you never got to have proper closure with your dog, and perhaps that in itself is more upsetting than the mere fact that they can no longer be with you.

I've had pets in the past, all of which eventually died of natural causes; but I was at least able to say "goodbye" to them properly before having them euphonised, so was able to come to terms with their deaths and move on with my life. However, my best friend, although a person, died in a motorcycle accident around 10 years ago. After I was told of their death, I shut myself away from the rest of the world and refused to socialise for several weeks; and though I did attend my friend's funeral, I did not visit their grave for several years after the burial; for in my heart I was not ready to accept their death. It just seemed too cruel to me that fate could suddenly take life away from such a nice person in the blink of an eye.

The thing is, the more I tried to fight against what had happened to my best friend, the more I was turning into what my friend would have not wanted: a heartless, vengeful, bitter, and eventually twisted person. Not until it got to the point where I had resorted to self harm, lost a lot of weight, and my family started noticing that I was closing myself off to them as well as society did I finally wake up and realise that I had become the exact opposite of what my friend once lived for, championed and embraced. If there is such a thing as heaven, then surely my friend would have been looking down at me and feeling very disappointed that I was not making any attempt to preserve their legacy.

And after that revelation I began change my attitude and outlook on life; started to emulate the way my friend used to be. Gone was the shy retiring person I was for many years and in came the "new" me, ready to face the world with the same approach as my friend once did; for if they had to be taken by fate, then I wanted to at least make sure that their death was not in vain.

Like I said, my way of dealing with death may be different, but if I could give once piece of advice, then don't drink over the death of your dog. I've seen the sort of damage this does to good people, and believe me when I say, it can ruin your life. Drink may blot out the pain for a time; but sooner or later you'll have to face the music (or keep on drinking until you become an alcoholic, at which point it won't be about your dog anymore...)--and the more you drink to put off the sense of loss, the more difficult it will be to clear your mind in order to have proper closure with your pet and then move on with your life.

I'm not saying that the loss of a pet (or any close person for that matter) is easy to get over; it ain't. Deep down we all know the right approach to dealing with loss; but knowing and doing are two different things, and I handled the loss of my best friend far from perfectly. All I can say is, don't go down the same road as I did--and if you're going to drink, let it be for the right reasons, like to celebrate the good life that your dog once had with you rather than block out the mental pain of loss; because if you do that, chances are the alcohol will eventually take over your thinking and eventually diminish the value of what you "lost" in the first place.

[Ranshiin]

Well, I've not only lost my pets (sadly, all three of the cats I used to look after died of old age) but also my grandfather ... and to be honest, even today when I think of either of them it hurts. In fact, for my birthday my nan, bless her heart, made me a birthday card with a photo of my gramps on it, and as much as I appreciate the gesture and the soul behind it, the moment I saw the photo I had to physically turn the card over because that's how painful it is to remember him, and I'm embarrassed to admit that not only has that card been on the same spot on my table since my birthday because it's too hard for me to move it, I've been unable to physically bring myself to visit my nan for the same reasons.

In fact, typing this very post was painful. Maybe it's an overreaction but things like that are difficult to comprehend even years down the line.


As for my pets, luckily for me the two eldest cats I had the chance of being with them the night before they passed; the first apparently died due to eating laced cat food (and my dad was livid to the point that the neighbour responsible was pretty violently evicted from the street by quite a few locals). The second had to be put down whilst my parents were on holiday, and the neighbour who went to do this gave me the chance to sit with her and say goodbye. The youngest cat passed away roughly a year ago (all three were pretty much due to old age, really, they were all 18-20) but since I'd moved out by then it happened where it'd been a few months since I'd last been to my parents, so I still feel somewhat guilty for not being able to see her as often. I loved those cats, and I know they loved me.

My parents say she died of old age and a stomach infection, but personally I believe that she was rather literally 'scared to death'. When I moved out my parents got a puppy. That puppy was known to scare the poor cat to hell and back, and whilst my parents argue my overreaction I stand by it and the dog knows it; since the cat died the dog makes a habit of keeping away from me.

I suppose in some good light I not only have some photos of the third cat but also this audio clip on my phone of her snoring, so at least I have something to remember her by. As for personal experiences, whilst I don't want to sound heartless in any particular manner you will some day come to terms with the loss of your dog, as unlike my grandfather thinking about my old pets, whilst it's still difficult, isn't as painful and saddening as it once was. I also know I probably shouldn't have brought family loss into this, but I felt it was relevant to bring across my point of having very personal experiences of loss of close family - both as people as well as the family's pets.

All I can say to end this is that I hope you come to terms with it quickly.

[RyuTama]

This reminds me of my dad's German Shepherd, Rocky. He was probably the most well-behaved and friendly dog I've ever met. He was born a few years before I was, so he was there throughout my whole childhood, and since I was almost always kept at home as a kid, he was the one friend my sister and I could play with. My dad was always away working as a truck driver (we only saw him once every couple of weeks), and my mom was... well... not very motherly. So we didn't get out much. Still, playing with Rocky was always so much fun. Being kids, we would sometimes be overly rough with him (pulling his tail and whatnot), but he never once bit us. He would even play wrestle with us sometimes, and whenever my mom and dad would fight, he would drag us away, or bring one of his toys over to us to try and lure us into playing with him. He really was very special to all of us, except my mom, who actually got really jealous of him eventually, after seeing all the attention he always got.

I think he was 17 when we had to put him down. Really old. My dad had been considering it for a while, but naturally, he was very reluctant to do it. By the time he was that age, he was half blind, and his hips were giving out on him, so it was hard for him to walk around. He would still want to play sometimes, but it was really painful watching him try to jump and then end up yelping in pain... This was when my dad told us about Rocky's mom, whom he had taken care of as well. He told us how she had lived very long too, but she had been much worse off before they finally put her down. Apparently, she couldn't walk at all, and she was blind (or deaf, I can't remember) so she would just lay on a blanket in the living room. When he told this to us, my sister and I both agreed that Rocky didn't deserve that sort of life.

So, when I was 13, we went on one last car ride with Rocky. (We didn't go with him to the vet, because my dad thought that would be to much for us.) Still, that last ride with him was probably the most emotional time of my childhood. We went to the park, where we let him lay down in the grass, and we fed him some of his favorite biscuits and brushed his fur (he loved getting his fur brushed). The strange part is, it was like he knew what was happening. He wouldn't do that happy panting like he usually did, even at his age, instead he would just look at us and whimper a bit.

I especially remember hugging him one last time before dad took him away. He had put his paw on my arm and licked my cheek twice, almost like he was saying "I'll miss you too. I love you."



...And now I'm trying to finish typing this while these huge crocodile tears are pouring down my face. Wow, I didn't think just writing about it would get me so emotional... I've had to wipe my eyes twice now.

Suddenly remembering all this about our Rocky really makes me realize the heartbreak you're going through. It must be even worse, seeing your circumstances... I bet he knew you were the best master ever though, and he loved you as much as you loved him. And you'll always have those memories to cherish. I hope you can recover from this loss quickly.

RIP Lui.