AnimeGalleries [dot] NetAnimeWallpapers [dot] ComAnimeLyrics [dot] ComAnimePedia [dot] ComAnimeGlobe [dot] Com

User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Dragonball humor

  1. #1
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Dragonball humor

    Got any funny dragonball images, jokes, videos, quotes?





    http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/311411536
    Last edited by Clayton_n; 07-28-2014 at 07:40 PM.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  2. #2
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor

    If I Ever Become a Dragonball Hero...

    I will not hang in the sky and provide blow-by-blow commentary as my friends take on the villain one by one; instead, I will provide emergency training in a rare and arcane maneuver known as the "cavalry charge."
    I will not allow my enemy to power up, no matter how cool it would be to fight him afterward.
    I will keep a good book and a pack of cards on me at all times. That way, when I die, I’ll have something to do while I’m waiting to be resurrected.

    If I’ve just spent the last several months in intensive training out of sight of the rest of the crew, I will not greet them with news of how powerful I’ve become and how many cool new attacks I’ve developed. I will tell them that I sprained my ankle after the first month and had to spend the rest of the time on my butt on the couch, watching daytime TV and waiting for my ankle to heal. Sure, it’s a lie, but I won’t have to endure a round of counterbragging, and Vegeta won’t offer to kick my donkey. And when I do unveil my new and improved superpowers, everyone will want to try my training regimen. ("Cheez doodles are fine for beginners, Vegeta, but you’ll need twinkies if you really want to go for the burn.")
    If I have a power which can be upped by a near-death experience, I won’t wait until the middle of a pitched battle with the strongest enemy yet. I will institute a training regimen involving sterilized instruments and a two-pound bag of senzu beans several months before I expect trouble.
    I will always have senzu on hand.
    If the villain manages to deprive me of one set of dragonballs, I won’t fret or panic. The DB-verse has dragonballs the way dogs have fleas; another set will turn up in a moment.
    I will have a list of wishes memorized so that if I need to make a wish fast, I won’t have to spend precious time trying to make one up.
    "A pair of panties from a hot babe" is not a valid wish.
    "A sex change for Vegeta" is.
    I will make a wish to be able to "beep" Shenlong, instead of having to traipse all over the world to get seven damn balls.
    If my enemies want to wish for immortality, why the hell don't I?
    Dissenting opinion: Screw gaining immortality and controlling the universe; I'M TAKING OVER SIX FLAGS! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
    I will not hang Kaioushin-sama from my rearview mirror like a punk kewpie doll. I will not hang Kaioushin-sama from my rearview mirror like a punk kewpie doll. I will not hang Kaioushin-sama...
    I will have children early and often. By the time the oldest one is eight, I'll be able to pass on the world-saving business to them and go drink Zombies in Hawaii for the rest of the show. In all likelihood, the other characters won't allow me to actually do this, but at least I'll be able to.
    I will remember that I can absorb massive amounts of damage, not that I have to.
    If I do absorb massive amounts of damage, I won't bounce out of bed and start training again the instant the plaster on my cast is dry. I may have a Super Saiyajin healing factor and a Super Saiyajin insurance plan, but I don't need to strain them both to the very limit just to prove that I'm a man.
    I will not keep any friends who, in the face of an impending fight, say things like, "I'm getting excited!" Yaoi is fine, but not that kind of yaoi.
    If someone fires multiple ki blasts at me, I will not just run backwards in a panic. I will move. As in, go airborne.
    If my opponent fades, I will immedeately turn behind me and power up a powerful attack. This way, I won't get my butt kicked, neck snapped, or any other form of pain added to my damage stats.
    If my enemy is hanging motionless in the sky, I will not rush up at him. Instead, I will rocket up andaround him, and hit him from behind.
    I will constantly fire my ki blasts quickly, and at my opponent's head. If this does not work, I will whip out a gun and shoot them in the kneecaps.
    If I have a super-powerful attack that leaves me open to attack for several minutes, I will blind my enemy, then hide to power up for the attack, rather than standing on the highest, most visible platform in the area.
    If I don't know a blinding technique, I will keep pepper spray on hand at all times.
    I will not start easy and gradually use more powerful attacks as I get my butt kicked, I will use my full power from the start and kick my enemy's butt first.
    I will not listen to taunts.
    I will not show mercy.
    I will not believe a word my enemy says.
    If the enemy releases a ki blast that will certainly kill everyone present, I will stand behind Gokuu and use him as a shield. If anyone can stand the blast it's most probably him.
    If Gokuu decides to dodge the blast instead of just staying there... I shall worry.
    I will not make any sarcastic observations concerning Vegeta's hair unless I have a death wish.
    I will also not laugh at Vegeta's pink shirt.
    I will never endear myself to Gokuu so much that my death might bring about a new SSJ level. In fact, I will not allow myself to become absolutely essential to the emotional well-being of any Saiyajin. It's like wearing a large neon sign saying, "Please kill me now."
    I will take credit for saving the earth whenever possible. The fans may hate me, but I'll be rich.
    Dissenting opinion: I will not wrongfully take credit for defeating a powerful monster and brag to any of the DB boys about it. The next and last thing I'll hear will be "Big Bang Attack!" or "Makankosappo!"
    I will always let Vegeta win, even if it's at tic-tac-toe and he's never played before.
    I will not tell my enemy how weak and pitiful they are. This is their cue to power up and kick the living crap out of me.
    I will not leave precious belongings and/or my only means of transportation from a planet out in the open for the villain to destroy at will.
    I will not listen to the villain's life story, I will kill him and get on with my dinner.
    I will tell everyone to fuse into one person as the first move of the fight, forming something called Picco-go-go-go-ge-trunks-in.
    I will not, repeat, WILL NOT hit on Trunks. In fact, I will do everything in my power to make his life miserable.
    I will, repeat, WILL hit on Piccolo. Just to see his reaction.
    Dissenting opinion: I will determine who is the most attractive character left single on the show, and purposely argue constantly with them.
    Dissenting dissenting opinion: I will not become romantically involved with a Saiyajin. It will ensure that the rest of my life will be spent cooking massive amounts of food, sewing massive amounts of new clothing, and waiting in utter fury for the boys to come home. It will also ensure that I will barely ever see my children; if they're not training, they're being kidnapped by whatever evil relative/megalomaniac/alien has happened to stop by this week.
    Dissenting dissenting dissenting opinion: If I do manage to have a child with a Saiyajin, Daddy gets to take care of the little terror. From birth. Even potty-training. Especially potty-training.
    I will become good friends with Vegeta.
    I will under no circumstances attempt to shoot anyone who is male but has a female voice.
    I will make sure of who my voice actor is before I sign the contract. Actors who are on crack and/or don't sound like they are the same sex as I are Right Out.
    I will make sure to take the time to annoy the HFIL out of Piccolo. Sure, it won't do me ANY good whatsoever, but it will be well worthwhile to see him dodge water balloons.
    If I cannot fly, I will damn well learn. It doesn't matter if I'm a human noncombatant; if the cat can fly, so can I.
    I will train Mr. Satan to fly. God shouldn't have to carry his sorry donkey around.
    If I find a villain too powerful for me to defeat, I don't have to beat him, I just have to last long enough that the villain who is coming along after him shows up and does the rest for me.
    I will train during periods of peace so I don't end up reaching a new plateau of power in the middle of a battle.
    Instead of wasting my time during periods of peace, I will collect the DragonBalls and wish for something useful like, oh... to be powerful enough to ward off whatever danger you just know is on its way.
    I will buy stock in hair gel, because with Gokuu's relatives all hanging around, you know it's going to go way up.
    I will leave more than 3.67 seconds to save my son's life when arriving at a battle scene.
    I will shoot Bulma and Chichi...
    ... and throw their bodies on top of Dende's crumpled form.
    Yajirobe tops the pile. [Note from Issendai: A lot of you have it in for Yajirobe. Here it is! He's dead! Stop sending me "kill Yajirobe" suggestions!]
    I will mistrust those with hair more gravity-defying than my own.
    I will not shriek like I'm trying to pass a Dragonball during combat. Breathing properly is a good thing.
    I will not fight Garlic Junior, because it's sooooo annoying to have to fight an opponent who's about as high as your knees.
    I will transform into something that looks vaguely dignified. Enormous monkeys and big ugly crocodiles are Right Out.
    I will paint the Dragonballs with black stripes when I get them, so when a pursuing opponent catches up with me I can say it's just a basketball. Better yet, I will have the Dragonballs guarded by the Italian soccer team.
    I will use enormous amounts of hair spray so that I can shred my opponents to death with my pointy hair. Or, if I'm bald, I will augment my normal blinding attack with the glint off my scalp.
    I will not allow either Piccolo or Vegeta to train me. I don't care what's coming.
    I will not stand anywhere near Krillin or Yamucha within two days of any battle.
    I will not have a tail. Cool as the extra appendage may be, anyone with a tail will either get beaten and humiliated to within an inch of their life or killed slowly and/or painfully. If I do have a tail, I will get it removed as soon as possible.


    If I run into a villain who inexplicably hates me, I will do my best to blame my dead evil twin.

    Last edited by Clayton_n; 07-28-2014 at 07:41 PM.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  3. Likes SabrinaMurray88 liked this post
  4. #3
    Senior Member Blank Sora is on a distinguished road Blank Sora's Avatar
    Gil
    1,739.52
    Gender
    My Mood
    Cloud_9
    Gifts Scorpio Heart Katana
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-09-2014 06:31 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Newport, Wales.
    Age
    14
    Threads
    14
    Posts
    120
    Rep Power
    1
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: LegitWilliam77

    Default Re: Dragonball humor








  5. #4
    one without hope horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous has a reputation beyond repute horrendous's Avatar
    Gil
    967.54
    Gender
    Gifts 143 - Snorlax Jet Pocky
    Mentioned
    120 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-27-2014 08:41 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    at the bottom of a dry well
    Age
    24
    Threads
    32
    Posts
    2,645
    Blog Entries
    12
    Rep Power
    644

    Default Re: Dragonball humor

    dragonzball p
    dragonzball peepee
    dragonball z abridged

    google em
    horĚrenĚdous
    adjective
    shockingly dreadful; horrible
    synonyms
    appalling, frightful, hideous

    --



    --

    i'm afraid i'm fresh out of irony, but i do have some coincidence in stock

  6. #5
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor



    Last edited by Clayton_n; 11-02-2013 at 05:07 PM.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  7. #6
    Senior Member Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom's Avatar
    Gil
    105.56
    Gender
    My Mood
    Bookworm
    Mentioned
    15 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-31-2014 04:51 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Belgium
    Threads
    4
    Posts
    521
    Rep Power
    185
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Fungy Chroom

    Default Re: Dragonball humor


    Last edited by Major.Tom; 12-30-2013 at 06:16 AM.
    He's just a dandy guy, in space.

  8. #7
    Member Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah has a reputation beyond repute Ohyeah's Avatar
    Gil
    2,546.18
    Gender
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    01-18-2014 11:11 AM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Threads
    19
    Posts
    54
    Rep Power
    41

    Default Re: Dragonball humor

    I am glad you asked.




    Last edited by Ohyeah; 12-30-2013 at 06:33 AM.

  9. #8
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor


    SAME VOICE ACTOR




    Last edited by Clayton_n; 01-23-2014 at 05:22 PM.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  10. #9
    Senior Member Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom has a reputation beyond repute Major.Tom's Avatar
    Gil
    105.56
    Gender
    My Mood
    Bookworm
    Mentioned
    15 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    07-31-2014 04:51 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Belgium
    Threads
    4
    Posts
    521
    Rep Power
    185
    Gamer IDs

    Gamertag: Fungy Chroom

    Default Re: Dragonball humor

    He's just a dandy guy, in space.

  11. #10
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor













    Last edited by Clayton_n; 01-28-2014 at 06:41 PM.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  12. #11
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor

    if i ever become a dragonball villain...

    If I am fighting an opponent who is wearing nothing but a body stocking and an armored tank top, I will not concentrate my blows on his chest. I will aim for the throat and groin.

    I will remember: Death does not faze the DB boys. Women do.

    Since women faze the DB boys, I will always keep the latest issue of Playboy magazine with me. And the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. And a few Victoria's Secret catalogs. Master Roshi will be on me like white on rice, but I'll bet I can get a few bucks from Bulma, Chichi, Videl, and Pan for keeping him occupied.

    I will introduce slapstick humor into all battles. No one has given Vegeta a wet willie before, and the look on his face will be well worth the beating.

    I will not waste time developing new implements of mass destruction to use against the DB boys; a simple Valium mister or psychedelic dart will work just fine. (Look, Piccolo, butterflies!)

    I will develop supersensitive hearing. When the heroes start analyzing the battle and explaining their companion’s newfound powers to one another, I’ll be in the loop.

    If I suddenly develop a new superpower, I will not stop in the middle of battle to tell my opponent all about it. Psychological warfare is nice, but the element of surprise is nicer.

    If I suddenly develop a new superpower, I will not stop to boggle at my newfound abilities. I will act as though I always had the power, and will attack with it immediately. Twice.

    I will not kill God. It never helps.

    I will not kill Krillin unless I have a death wish.

    I will remember at all times that I can fly.

    I will not sit back and allow my opponents to power up or do the Fusion dance.

    When my scouter starts giving me ki readings, I will act impressed and read them off to my opponent as much higher than they are. Then, when my opponent starts powering up, I will act as though the readings are mysteriously dropping. This has no tactical advantage, but it will confuse the hell out of my opponents. They may waste precious time trying to grab my scouter off my face to see what in hell is going on.

    If my most powerful opponents are eight years old, I will not try to run them off the field of battle by mocking them, threatening them, or killing their fathers. I will send them each a PlayStation 2 for Christmas.

    I will switch sides early, before the DB boys have time to uncover my true agenda and defuse it.

    And then I will become close friends with Chichi and Bulma, and introduce them to the wonders of psychotherapy. Three months of Ritalin, Prozac, and family therapy later, the Saiyajins will be groveling at my feet and begging me to conquer them just to make it stop.

    I will never stand and grin smugly as my opponent disappears in the explosion from my attack. They will always show up again after the smoke clears. Instead, I'll throw everything I have into the center of the devastation to prevent them from making me look stupid by surviving.

    I will remember that both my enemies and my allies would prefer a simple but eloquent "Bring it on!" rather than a long and snooze-inducing taunt to start a fight. The show's only thirty minutes long, after all.

    Since my most powerful opponent is notoriously stupid, I will under no circumstances attempt to fight him. I will go to him peacefully and request to use the Dragonballs to save my dying world. If he is suspicious, I will begin to cry over my dying world and call him evil. If that fails, I will leave, dejected. Once in orbit I will use my doomsday world-destroying attack, then go straight on to Namek to try again. (Jerry Elscol)

    I will keep blackmail items on hand at all times. ("Lookit! I have your baby pictures, Vegeta!")

    I will remember that possessing X-rated pictures of Bulma will piss Vegeta off to no end.

    I will not waste time taunting my opponents. People who use taunts are notorious for getting their butts kicked.

    I will not trust my partners. They could backstab me, kill me, or send me for a loooong flight at any moment.

    When I plan to blow up a planet, I will not tell everyone that I plan to blow it up. I will just blow it up.

    I will be prepared to act weak to fool my enemy into having mercy on me. Then I will turn around and kick their butts.

    If my scouter gives me a reading I don't like, I will not assume that it is broken. I will assume the reading is true and be prepared for the worst.

    When I'm hunting dragonballs from a peaceful race I will not bother torturing them, I will just blow them up and take the dragonballs.

    I will not kidnap Gohan. I will capture Krillin instead. He will be nearly as effective and I won't be bringing a little timebomb into my base.

    Kidnapping Trunks is probably a bad idea too.

    Under no circumstances will I take either Bulma or Chichi hostage. It's not worth the pain or the migraines.

    If all else fails, I will swallow one of the dragonballs. Sure, I'll have one hell of a case of indigestion, but the good guys won't be able to get all seven.

    I will not lie to Vegeta. While the truth may hurt me a lot, once he found out I lied, I would be in even more pain.

    I will not give a damn who kills my arch-rival. Just so long as he dies.

    When my enemy fires a huge ki blast at me and it does no good, I will not make some lame comment like, "You managed to singe some of my leg hairs." I will make no references to boy scouts or taking candy from babies. I will not refer to any of my henchmen as the "Spice Boys." In fact, I will not read any script prepared by Pioneer.

    I will be prepared to stoop as low as to poison a Saiyajin's food.

    I will not try to transplant my genius brain into the hero's body. I may be damn ugly with my robotic exo-suit, but hot damn, I can whoop donkey!

    If my purpose is to destroy humans, I will not toy with them. I will trigger a few ecological disasters and get the job done quickly before that purple-haired brat can get strong enough to destroy me.

    If the hero is about to kill me, I will show him a picture of my wife (or husband) and kids.

    I'm screwed if the opponent about to kill me is Vegeta.

    I will not engage in a counterblast battle with the hero, because inevitably, I would lose.

    I will get some Saiyajin DNA injected into my system. They always get stronger and eventually whomp all who get in their way, and dammit, I want in on the fun!

    Conquering the world/universe is SOOOOOO cliche. I will come up with an original villainous scheme.

    Wishing for immortality is also SOOOOOO cliche. I will wish for something original—such as for the DB boys to be turned into crippled old men.

    I will make sure that all Saiyajins I meet will no longer be able to have children.

    I will not scream while powering up. While it does add to the effect, it also draws a helluvalot of unwanted attention, and signals quite clearly that I am about to attack.

    When the hero arrives, I will be friendly and offer him a drink. I will have a cheerful conversation with the hero until he is stone cold drunk. Then I will offer him a ride home and kill him.

    I will invite all the DB boys to the local bar and buy them all drinks—on me, of course. Sure, it'll be expensive, but it'll be worth it to make my victory easier.

    If I cannot defeat the hero, I will beg to become his pupil and change my evil ways. Once I've learned all his secrets and tricks, I will kill him and resume my evil ways.

    Instead of a battle, I will challenge the DB boys to a winner-takes-all road race. The DB boys' driving skills leave a lot to be desired.

    If I cannot beat Gokuu with physical strength, I will challenge him to a chess match.

    If my opponent is Vegeta, I will lie and tell him I heard that Gokou and Bulma had been doing "fun" things in bed together behind his back. Hopefully, he will ditch the fight with me in favor of pounding Gokuu's face in.

    Children with purple hair will be systematically executed.

    I will not have large stupid lummoxes for my minions. My right hand men will be as educated as they are strong.

    If people cannot determine my gender on sight, I will get cosmetic surgery to correct the situation.

    After I make my wish, I will kill Piccolo. No Piccolo = no more dragonballs = no more good guys getting wished back to spoil my plans.

    If my opponents begin to do the Fusion pose, I will record it on film and threaten to sell copies to friends and family. This will likely stop them or mess them up—especially if Vegeta is involved.

    I will finish off all opponents quickly, rather than savoring their "impending" demise.

    If I build any robots to kill one person, I will include a backup program in case I was too late and he's already dead, so that my creations will not go nuts and turn on me.

    I will under no circumstances enter an alliance with any being whose gender I cannot determine by sight. Similar exclusions apply to those who wear black lipstick, and beings who can change form at will. Any of these are a virtual guarantee of murderous rages and betrayal.

    I will keep my blood pressure within normal levels. Although the eye twitching thing is cool, that pesky blood vessel on the right side of my forehead could kill me as thoroughly as a Genki Dama or Big Bang attack.

    Along the same lines, if I have any serious inferiority or paranoia complexes (especially against humanoids with tails), I will see a competent psychiatrist.

    If I really can't win, I shall send a rain of ki blast towards the nearest city. The DB boys, being such do-gooders, will try to counter all the attacks and save everyone, giving me the opportunity to flee.

    This trick doesn't work if my opponent is Vegeta.

    If I really can't win and my opponent is Vegeta, I'll send a ki blast directly at the ground and blow up the whole planet. If I have to die, I might as well take the DB boys to Hell with me.

    If I start to lose, and my opponent is Gokuu, I will yell, "Look, Gokuu, food!", thus distracting him long enough for me to escape.

    If I do manage to take over the world, I will destroy Capsule Corp. No Capsule Corp. = no time machine = no purple-haired teenagers messing up my plans.

    If I am losing to Vegeta, I will announce that if he waits three days, I will become much more powerful.

    I will not let the heroes pull this little trick on me in return. I'm an very impatient person. I will not give a damn whether in three days Vegeta or Gokuu will be stronger; those little freaks are hard enough to handle as is!

    I will not allow the heroes to eat any senzu beans.

    Dissenting opinion: I will take one senzu, coat it with ipecac, and let the hero steal it from me.

    Before anything else, I will get one Earth dragonball and one Namek dragonball, put them in a radar-proof container, and hide them under my dirty underwear.

    I will go to Karin Tower, take all the available senzu, and waste the place.

    If weaker human fighters are trying to stall me, I will use my full power to kill them all and then run like mad before the hero can arrive.

    If the hero has arrived, I will knock all the human fighters unconscious and have them put somewhere safe. No sense risking another SSJ level.

    All children born with tails shall be immediately executed.

    I will not throw any ki attacks bigger than my head. If I absolutely must, it will be a diversionary tactic to cover a smaller, faster attack.

    I will carry a small, adorable puppy at all times.

    I will always keep an unbreakable camera with me. The chance that the heroes might actually get the credit may be enough to keep them from winning.

    The next time there is a Tenchi Ichi Budokai, I will wait until the heroes have beat each other senseless and then waste the arena.

    While the heroes are fighting my right hand men, I will sneak up behind them and break their necks.

    If all the fighters are near-dead and Gokuu raises his arms and just stands there, I will kill him. Immediately.

    I will never employ anyone who uses Paper, Scissors, Rock to determine who will battle.

    If I have been beaten and the hero lets me off, I will go heal myself before double-crossing him.

    I am a villain. I don't give a flying crap about honor.

    I will KILL the women and children.

    I will not play with my opponents. Psychological warfare is not worth wasting on the likes of Gokuu.

    I will become a better cook than Chichi, then the DB boys won't have the heart or stomach to kill me.

    If I lose, I will not lady about how I'm all-powerful and shouldn't be able to die. If I'm gonna die, I'll go without looking like an idiot.

    If I am the rare female villain I will not cling to any available males, despite the fact that they're single. Or, more to the point: I won't bother hitting on Piccolo, since I know I'm not gonna get anything out of it.

    If I'm gonna have to destroy an omnipotent type, I will not kill the current Kami. Kaioh-sama is the first to go.

    If I must make speeches before the fight, I will take speech lessons.

    I will not keep trying to fight someone who has already kicked my booty multiple times. I will aim for his wife.

    If I must take over a planet, I will not choose Earth, Namek, or any other miserable ball of rock which the Saiyajin have decided to adopt. There are plenty of planets in the galaxy which don't have pointy-haired psychopaths for protectors.

    I will run away as soon as Gokuu loses his shirt. Gokuu - shirt = villain going to die.

    For Kami's sake, I will NOT stand there and giggle to myself while they power up in preparation to whoop my sorry butt.

    I will kill no relatives or close friends of anyone who has or has had a tail.

    All henchmen are incompetent by definition. I'll just go out and get the damn dragon balls myself.

    If I burn Vegeta's hair, I will run. Fast.

    If I ruin Gokuu's lunch, I will not bother flying away. I will immediately begin writing my last will and testament.

    I will not stand around looking awed or smirk while anyone is gathering their strength. I will attack while they're screaming and have their eyes closed. Yeah, I'll miss out on some nifty pyrotechnics, and yeah, I'll be breaking anime rules of power-gathering, but the fans will love me for getting to the much anticipated action. And won't it be an interesting way to be original?

    I will not gloat preemptively. This is the cue for the near-dead Gokuu to come barreling out of nowhere and liquefy my kidneys.



    if i ever become a
    dragonball fashion consultant...

    I think we can all agree that Dragonball fashion is... not. Here are the comments I've gotten so far:

    Since I will probably spend much of my time hanging in the sky, I will not wear black, orange, purple, or bright white. I will wear baby blue.

    Black lipstick is not an option.

    Neither are pink armwarmers.

    Or spandex bodysuits.

    Dissenting opinion: The spandex actually makes Vegeta attractive. I will consider this when choosing my battlegear.

    Black tank tops, black silk pants, and Capsule Corp. jackets are a definite option. Oh, yeah. Although the boots may need rethinking.

    Pants are mandatory.

    I will not wear bikini briefs. Radditz, Nappa, Zaborn, the Ginyu force, Freezer, all wore some sort of bikini briefs, and all of them are dead. 'Nuff said.

    I will not take fashion tips from my sire. (re: Freezer and King Cold)

    I will get my underlings tailor-made uniforms. I know it won't help me in any way, but at the very least I won't look cheap by using secondhand Saiyajin armor.

    I will buy clothes that are not easily blown up.

    I will keep a spare T-shirt and a pair of jeans near me at all times, so that when my clothes get blown to shreds, I don’t have to dress like the natives. Neck tutus give me a rash.

    I will make sure I'm wearing clean underwear, just in case something happens to my pants.

    Dissenting opinion: I will fight naked. Why wear clothes? The next time an energy blast hits me I'm going to lose my shirt anyway. Besides, I'm built like a brick shithouse. Why shouldn't I show it off?

    I will bear my SSJ form in mind when designing my hairstyle, and eliminate any parts, poofs, points, or ponytails which will make me look like a goof when I power up.

    I will comb my hair at least once a month.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  13. #12
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor

    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  14. #13
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor





    Last edited by Clayton_n; 05-15-2014 at 06:07 PM.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

  15. #14
    Senior Member Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n has a reputation beyond repute Clayton_n's Avatar
    Gil
    38,758.79
    Gender
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Latest Post
    08-26-2014 12:40 PM
    User Info Thanks / Tagging Info Gifts / Achievements / Awards vBActivity Stats
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Behind Blue Eyes
    Threads
    252
    Posts
    1,760
    Rep Power
    137

    Default Re: Dragonball humor



    Last edited by Clayton_n; 07-28-2014 at 07:55 PM.
    Anime is a lot like sex. Done right it's a beautiful act of creation that brings a little more light into the world. If it's sick and wrong... it's even better.


    Author of "How to Be an Anime Character" available from Amazon.com

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Korean humor
    By DOOM! in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-17-2010, 04:40 PM
  2. Gundam 00: Would someone humor a question from me?
    By SakuraFox512 in forum Gundam
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 02-26-2010, 11:09 AM
  3. What's your style of humor?
    By Diocletian in forum Miscellaneous Miscellany
    Replies: 71
    Last Post: 09-05-2009, 02:16 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts