@lairefaerie - Yeah, the welcome was for you. xD
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@lairefaerie - Yeah, the welcome was for you. xD
MY BIG AF FAMILY
@Feferi Dunno, i just don't find any of them attractive. And it's not because I think I'm "too good" or something, definitely not. Hmm I'll post a picture of the 1 guy I've ever seen that I've found attractive in all ways, physically and otherwise. He's a youtuber lol, I don't really know why I find him so appealing but I do. I think it's because he reminds me of an anime boy, for some reason. His attitude and intelligence and looks (:
yeah i mean i don't know i find him basically perfect in every single way possible buuut if i were ever to encounter a guy like him irl i'd run away as fast as i could because 1) i'm both insecure and realistic when it comes to my appearance and i know that uh, super cute boys only date supermodels soooyeah and 2) i had a terrible experience with a really attractive boy so now when i see cute people i'm just like "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU'RE GOING TO BE EVIL AND BREAK MY HEART"
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Mm I see your point about it being just an act, and I agree-- for some.
But for many they are just genuinely very immature. And I guess the solution there is "go for older guys" but I don't think older guys would be attracted to me because my stature and voice makes me come off as wayyy younger than I am.. And who wants to date their little sister. (Errr..)
Oh yeah. I always hold back sex but it's usually because I don't find my boyfriends attractive physically so it's not like it's a real challenge, when every time you kiss someone you feel like you're doing it because that's what girlfriends and boyfriends do, not because you're overwhelmed by a passionate desire for your physical bodies to be as close as possible in the hopes of intertwining your very souls-- Uhm, yeah if you can't tell I'm big on romance and the whole "fiery passion" thing that tends to be so present in a lot of the animes I watch (I mostly find this in yaoi though I watch a lot of straight romance too).
Basically I just find everything in real life to be lacking in the mystery that I crave.
You get to a point where you know what people want to hear and who you're supposed to be and you start going through the motions to avoid eye contact and possible interference. I remind myself a lot of Oreki from Hyouka, if anyone's seen that. I relate a lot to his attitude of conserving energy and his general disinterest in relationships, lol. But it's not because I don't crave deep, intimate connections... It's because life has taught me through experience that most people simply will not understand me, and every time I'm misunderstood completely it breaks my heart a little bit.
What really appeals to me is how the guy never stops chasing the girl, you know?
For example, a pretty well known one here, Maid Sama, Misaki has trust issues with men because of her dad, she continually denies Usui's advances but he's smart enough (or stubborn enough) to realize that when she calls him a "baka" she doesn't actually mean it (well ok maybe a little bit), and he likes her so much he's willing to be there for her time and time again no matter how much she pushes him away. Maybe I've just never meant enough to anyone to make them want to stay, so maybe the problem lies with me, but I still admire the way anime boys just never give up on something when they want it. Like in one of my favorite songs the chorus literally goes "I don't mind the chase, baby you're lost out there in a different place, and I can't get to you, but I'll do what I have to." <-- Just wow, yes please. So yeah I do kind of have a complex against guys because they basically all seem to be like "Well if she ain't easy why bother, there are plenty of easier girls out there" No one really wants to have a deep, emotional connection, no one wants to get to know each others little loose stitches and be there for the torn patches.
I don't know I'm totally rambling now.
I have a lot of feels about this subject and I could probably just go on for hours.
I just, don't think I'll ever meet someone who understands the inner workings of my brain, and on top of that I hardly ever to never experience physical attraction, so I'm pretty hopeless. Thank god for anime though, at least I have something to squeal over, or the not-so-prevalent but undeniably present "teenage girl" portion of me might go insane.
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but i cried a lot.
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Thanks for allt he responses guys I expected people to just be rude and like "you're stupid, get a life, stop being weird"
The type I always find attractive are the dark and dangerous kind for example:
Sebastian and Ciel from black butler
Takano Masamune from sekai-ichi hatsukoi
Gareki from Karneval
Zero Kiryu from Vampire Knight
Shin from Amnesia
dunno sure there's loads more but i'm tired atm
I'm a sucker for the whole mysterious, rebellious boy with a tragic past, if you can't tell by the list.
Problem is when I get involved with these types in real life... The thing is, they're not interested in fixing it.
Take Gareki for example. Horrible past, still haunts him, but he's trying his best to move on. He doesn't sit around crying and complaining over the terrible hand he was dealt in life (though he would sure have a right to), he stays strong and fights through it, and I can't even explain how damn attractive I find that. It makes you want to hold them and be the person they can let their guard down around, you know?
I'm not into the whiney, sensitive "emo" type guys and that's what I always end up dating-- They drag me down into their depressing hole and do nothing but feel sorry for themselves, thinking the planet revolves around their misery and they care about no one but themselves. The amount of times I've stayed with a guy out of nothing but pity... Because I've had suicide threatened so many times, that if I left them they'd end their life, that I'm the only thing that makes them happy, etc...
So yeah, fair to say I've had a handful of crappy experience, plus my "daddy and mommy issues" I'm sure don't help with the whole trust thing.
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i don't think i'm responding to things properly because it's not quoting some people o_o
Last edited by lairefaerie; 06-25-2013 at 04:14 AM. Reason: wut
OK I've got to admit, I've never found anything other than a human female attractive, ye we guys can be douche bags but you can't really paint us all with the same brush. Please don't be offended by this but do you get out much? Also if you want a guy who has inner monologues that you can hear, so you know what is going through his head to determine whether or not you trust him. Here are two guys that do that, so you know they are trust worthy.
See good guys, and they aren't ugly
I think your problem is that real late teenage and early 20s boys are emotionally immature in a way they're not depicted in anime. They're *boys*. Other than his mother, who the hell wants a "boy"? Nowadays it seems to take a while until they realize maybe they should grow up and act like a man.
Last edited by Eris; 06-25-2013 at 10:47 AM.
"“Loneliness is a disease that can lead to death. They might as well be the same thing.”---spice and wolf
“When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you're by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you're really alone.” -- Fiona Apple
For starters, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a crush on an unreal character in my opinion, also, I can definitely understand your reasoning for finding it hard to become attracted to real people if many of them have hurt you in the past, relationships ending on sour notes is fing painful, if your having a hard time liking any real people at the moment, you aren't mentally prepared to date at the moment anyway, just let it play itself out, I'm sure someone will come along eventually and surprise you at some point.
Last edited by Ourobus; 06-25-2013 at 04:38 PM.
Your voice I can't judge until I hear. Your stature is not a problem and it never will be. Guys actually prefer their girlfriends to be shorter, whilst girls prefer their boyfriends to be taller. Not that you should aim directly for taller guys, because it's really just a societal trend at the minute.
You don't find boyfriends attractive? Do find non-anime boys in general physically unattractive?
A guy putting you on a pedestal will not enter a good relationship with you. You will see him as inferior, looking down at him as he worships you. There's no balance. What you seek is essentially a broken relationship and it might hurt you if you find it. The chase may seem fine a dandy in a show, but reality is different. It always will be. If you make yourself into a chase challenge then only guys looking for a challenge will chase you. Those looking for love will think you only care about drama and walk the other way.
Good relationships are built on love, understanding, shared goals and communication. If you won't communicate with your significant other, the relationship will crumble.
Mind reading is not a sign of a good relationship. It's a supernatural ability that no real life person has. You can truly love a person and have no idea what they are thinking! Guys, in general are not as well trained in social queues as girls are. They will not pick up on your hints. Be straight forward. You want a deep connection? You tell them what you are thinking. Superpowers do not make it anymore romantic.
the problem is that there's no problem
Strengthen & Keep Strengthening
Hon, you need to learn to fall in love with real boys. Else you'll be alone forever. Don't want that, do you?
Do not talk to me in this way.
Do not tell me to settle.
Do not imply that there is something inherently wrong with being single at the age of 18, and that it somehow speaks to the outcome of my entire life, that I will become a 80 year old woman who never experiences "love" with only her cats to keep her company, merely because I am going through a phase of asexuality brought on by depression and can only find comfort, warmth, and a semblance of trust in animated characters for the time being. Because I am strongly moved by dramatic, romantic, emotional novels, movies, etc. does not mean I will be doomed to a life of unhappiness because I refuse to marry your average joe and pop out 10 kids and have my white picket fence and perfectly ordinary, soul crushingly boring "American dream".
If what you meant to say was in some way not offensive, then I suggest you learn to phrase your responses better, because you most certainly came off as being very negative and implying ignorance with every word. You do not simply "learn to fall in love" with people. You do not make your heart feel something it doesn't, you don't close your eyes while in bed with your lover and imagine you're somewhere, anywhere but here-- with anyone else. You do not do these things, because in the process of trying to make yourself love someone, you will only end up hating yourself and them, and wasting valuable time they could have spent searching for someone who feels true passion towards them. You do not do these things and I know it because I have done it, and I won't ever again. I would rather be "alone forever" than lie to myself and an innocent victim who deserves nothing but true happiness that I am unable to give them.
And well, if this world says that you do have to learn to settle for less than magic, and "learn" to fall in love (the very statement is ridiculous, as if the act of falling could even be taught to begin with) then this is just one of the many things in the world that I refuse to be a part of. I'd rather spend the rest of my life reading/writing romance novels about beautiful connections and magical encounters than submit myself to a mind numbing monotony and wake up one day with a crippled heart and shriveled up soul.
I realize I probably took this to an entirely other level than you were expecting, but this is what crosses my mind every single time a snotty girl who can't comprehend her holes being empty for more than a week or an insecure boy with malicious intentions tells me to "settle".
edit: not implying you are either of those groups of people, just to be clear.
Last edited by lairefaerie; 06-25-2013 at 06:45 PM.
Honestly, the only thing I was trying to do was help you see if there was a possibility of finding happiness in love with a real person. There's nothing wrong with you (as far as I know. Besides, I have many of my own flaws). Just hoping to help another human being strive for happiness.
I'm really not the best at articulating what I'm really trying to get at, even if my hobby is writing.
I do not know much about you. But I find it insulting that you say that I have never spent time searching for someone to love. But I'll divulge a secret to you: I have spent my entire life since the fifth grade actively searching for a partner. I was single until the 9th grade which was a year of an abusive relationship. Onwards after that ended, I did not give up. Why? Because I value love, loyalty and equality above all else. I didn't give up despite my severe depression because I'm not afraid to chase after happiness. You can say I don't know you and what you've gone through because I haven't. But NEVER tell me that I don't know the pain of rejection, loneliness.You do not do these things, because in the process of trying to make yourself love someone, you will only end up hating yourself and them, and wasting valuable time they could have spent searching for someone who feels true passion towards them. You do not do these things and I know it because I have done it, and I won't ever again
I'm not gonna wake up one day, 40 years old and wishing for a better life. I'm gonna work the hardest I can, give my best effort and do everything in my power to enjoy the awesome power of love! Love is so hard to understand and achieve; that is why it is sought after so hard.
You can yell at me all you want. You can turn others against me. You can get me banned from AF. But I believe love is a part of true happiness.
Last edited by Yoko Littner; 06-25-2013 at 07:24 PM.
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~Just my moe service to all of AF~
Try and not think so much. Seriously, i'm only trying to help here, as you get a bit older you'll come to realize that thinking is bad. It does no good.
Last edited by darksky967; 06-25-2013 at 08:29 PM.
Strengthen & Keep Strengthening
Well, as long as it isn't to the point where you're super obsessed with them and are in love with them, then it's totally normal. I feel that way about tons of anime girls. I haven't personally been attracted to a girl in a long time (no, I'm not gay) and honestly it's nothing to stress about. In girls' cases, a good percentage of real life boys are immature and act like little boys until they realize how dumb they are and decided to mature up.
Also, maybe you just haven't found your 'Prince Charming' yet
Random thought: I agree with what lairefaerie said about girls generally being prettier and more attractive because of their softness. But guys need their ruggedness or else they'll come off too boyish and then you can't bring yourself to date them without feeling like a pedophile lol.
Guys just aren't attractive this year. No biggy! xD lol
Darling you'll be ok.❤ ~Pierce The Veil
If we don't get our rugged good looks, all the pretty girlies will be sad n be stuck with wimpy boys.
But in seriousness, I agree. But it's the fact that men and women are opposites make them attract (not including outlying factors)
Smelly and gross? *sniffs himself,* (hifhifhifhifhif) I use Axe Body Products.
"Let us enjoy the Rain together. My Umbrella is always open for you. Knowing me is knowing never having to say goodbye. It never stops raining, does it?"
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