after finding out my dad has a brain tumer and lung cancer im turning in to a carbon copy of my dad the alchohalic. now i became an alcholic some time ago becouse i was in a depresion thinking about someone i loved and lost and i feel my self sliping away in to alchoalisam agion. the last time i became one seeing my sisters reaction to what i was becoming gave me what i needed to stop drinking but i dont think that will work this time. i dont know what's going on with my dad wather hes dead or alive and that is just making me more and more depresed as the days go by knowing my fathers impending death. i know he wasnot much of a father becouse he was never there for me in my life but if it wasnot for him i wouldnot be here. i visited him in the hospital about 2 or 3 mounthes ago brought him an apple juice and i told him i loved him and he said he loved me back. the first time i rember him saying that to me and that broke my heart and i feel like im empty inside after seeing him in the hospital
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