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Thread: Child

  1. #1
    Junior Member sunee is on a distinguished road sunee's Avatar
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    Default Child

    I felt you deep inside me,
    A child forged in sin.
    And though I'll love you madly,
    I could not let you live.

    I'm sorry that I killed you,
    The truth I'll never show.
    The evil act - I had to.
    I'll never see you grow.

    I would have loved to keep you,
    But my life is still to live.
    The choice of what to do,
    So I sent you up to him.

    Someday I hope to meet you,
    To see your shinning face.
    If only God forgives me,
    And let's me past his gate.


    ------

    Pretty self explainatory. Religious sounding, I know.

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    Mayushii The Gullible IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison has a reputation beyond repute IluvAllison's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Re: Child

    Very well done. It flows well, the words and sentences go well with each other. It feels as if it is written in a rythm, sort of like a lyric. Maybe thats how some poems are supposed to work. Im not religious but I still enjoyed, although not on a personal level, I just liked it is all ;>

  4. #3
    razd u frm perdition Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel's Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Re: Child

    That was really beautiful. I really can't think of any words to describe it, but just wow. Really good.


    My Sun and Stars
    Moon of my life

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