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Thread: Pondering wisdom

  1. #1
    Laugh~ luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~'s Avatar
    Gil
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    Default Pondering wisdom

    Inside of us lay our souls,
    There they rest in the cavity of our hearts.
    From child to adult our soul grows based on the actions of our hearts and minds.
    Our mind is a map of our history to what we have placed in the cavity of our hearts, and our souls feed on what's inside.
    Looking on the past I see many things,
    but what do you see when your eyes lay upon previous things?
    Things you have not seen in years.
    Do you remember the old you that you have shed?
    Have you improved since the old you?
    Or fallen from the stars.

    Responses are welcome. luz~
    Last edited by luz~; 01-06-2013 at 11:24 PM.
    Xx~Laughs and smiles are for the strong~xX

  2. #2
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    Gil
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    Default Re: Pondering wisdom

    First, remove the text color or else Mini will have a cow. @_@
    Second, I feel that the fourth line is the climax to the poem. It is what we have built up to and what we are deep down. It has a balance to it. From the first line the narrator uses imagery to give the reader a nice visual on how we make ourselves, and that everything we do is important. This image of hollow hearts filled with the essence of who we are is solidified in the fourth line. The narrator muses shortly about what they see when they look back on themselves and their experiences in life. The poem then queries the reader as to what they see when they look at what they were compared to what they are now. The narrator suggests you could have improved upon yourself or perhaps you have hit rock bottom. I deduce that this poem is about personal growth and fear of what you may have become, or a yet to become. I think it is also about keeping a strong tie between body, mind, and spirit and not losing yourself. You should always aim to improve, and don't think that your choices don't matter. I think this is a fantastic poem!
    Third, free verse always throws me off and trying to find the rhythm has never been my thing. I should probably add that another reason I think line four is the climax is because the poem seems to steadily increase until that point, then it slows down again.

    Great poem Luz <3

    ---------- Post added at 11:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:21 PM ----------

    Sorry about the paragraph. I write a lot when I'm in a bad mood. >_>


    My Sun and Stars
    Moon of my life

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  4. #3
    Laugh~ luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~ has a reputation beyond repute luz~'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Pondering wisdom

    Gert online woman. XD And awww I love my color. D:
    Xx~Laughs and smiles are for the strong~xX

  5. #4
    razd u frm perdition Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel has a reputation beyond repute Castiel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pondering wisdom

    I know, but da rulez say you cannot. If you don't change it Mini will just change it and warn you. D:


    My Sun and Stars
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